IN SEARCH OF1
Tonight is a strange sort of night. Not fit for man or beast2
outside. An eerie sort of mist rises lazily up out of the moors3
bringing with it a bone-numbing chill. A number of blood curdling4
sounds could be heard some distance away. There is an almost5
foreboding feel to this mist. A feeling that something bad is about6
to happen.7
Standing alone within this mist is a man. He is dressed in a fur-8
lined jacket, which he has pulled up around his ears in a vain9
attempt to keep warm. He stomps his feet and rubs his hands10
together.11
The man searches the mist with weary eyes. He first turns facing12
one direction then the other as he tries to make sense of what it is13
he is sensing. He questions his feelings until finally he is sure.14
Yes, he does indeed feel it. A living presence. No, not just a15
presence. A living breathing being. One that is in great need. He16
feels waves and waves of pain coming from this being.17
He takes a step forward. Then another and another until finally he18
stops and extends his senses outward further into the dark and19
foreboding mist. Ah yes, he exclaims quietly to himself. He is20
there in that direction.21
He picks up his pace now that he is more confidant that he is going22
in the right direction. Now he can travel faster without fear of23
missing his quarry. The waves of pain are stronger now. More24
intense. He yearns to find this hurting being. To take away his25
pain and give what comfort he could.26
Suddenly the lone man stops. Senses that he is very close to this27
being. Just a few feet more. Suddenly there a break in the mist28
and a lone figure can be seen sitting alone on a stump. His arms29
wrapped around himself in cold comfort. Waves and waves of pain are30
just pulsing from him.31
He appears to be gazing out at the stars. The lone man steps closer32
to the pain wracked man. The two face each other. Dark eyes33
looking into blue. The dark man just stands there unblinking.34
He suddenly gasps as he recognizes this pain. He can put a name to35
it. It is loneliness. A gut-wrenching, all-consuming, Soul-36
stealing kind of loneliness. The lone man feels it as deeply as if37
it were his own.38
He reaches out to this man he barely knows.39
Gently touches a warm shoulder in comfort.40
No words were spoken between the two that night. They simply stood41
before the stars. Basking in the warmth of friendship. Sometime42
during the night, the pain just left leaving just two friends.43
Comments
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Wow!! This is wonderful! A story narrated poetically.. Brilliant.. Loved it very much Keep writing..
plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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Very touching
I really enjoyed this little bit of work. It was very touching and very deep indeed. I have heard loneliness described in many ways but this was absolute. I was afraid for this figure in the mist to begin with, but even more so for the other on the log.There was a sense of dread there just before the dark figure met the man on the log. It was very heartwarming emotion. The beginning was a lead to continue on and read more. I really loved the ending. I think loneliness is rife in the community Unfortunately, most of the time hidden - like you described it. One hand to another could change it all, and you showed that very well. The pace was excellent and it held my attention all the way. I could read this very easily.Well done.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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