With the click of a trigger and a loud bang
You were there with the angels and with them you sang1
You sang of love and you sang of peace
You sang of how your suicide was the easiest release2
A release of life a release of pain
A release of emotions you could not restrain3
So you sit with your angels just singing your song
As I sit here crying just knowing you're gone4
Knowing I'll never hear your voice
Knowing that you made the wrong choice5
A choice to leave a choice to die
A choice to leave me here to cry6
I guess you didn't understand how important you were
Or how much it hurt when you said you weren't sure7
So I sit here quietly with tears in my eyes
Sitting here just asking God why8
Why did you take him why did he leave
Why were all my words deceived9
Why didn't he listen why didn't he care
Why didn't he remember the times that we shared10
He was there one minute and the next he was gone
Sitting there with his angels just singing his song
....
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Wow...this is a very well written, emotional piece. My cousin commited suicide last year, and while it still makes me sad to be reminded of it, the way you've written this really captures the emotions of the situation. Great job! I'm impressed.
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wow.
wow. auntie, this is just amazing. its so emotiomal. I almost started crying Someone who i was very close to grabbed a gun and put it to his head... i know how you feel.
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Aw Natalie.
That's so deep and sad. The way it rhymes is really good. I would also like to hear the melody to this song, if it is one. This is great.
Wonderful job!
. Rewarded 6
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I think I am going to go off in a corner and cry now. That was powerful... and being someone that has been suicidal in the past...it just speaks to me. I could have done this to someone... But all that aside, great write! -Liz
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that was deep man..it really caught my attention..well the first few lines,well it was wonderful.
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Oh hey, that was deep. I really like the first two lines; it definitely caught my attention. I also thought it would make a good song, if there was a tune with it as well.
. Rewarded 4
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Sad
It was very sad, but very awesome. I really liked reading this! The words have a very nice flow to them, a certain rhythm. This would make a great song! I wonder what was going on in your mind when you wrote this. It makes me question a lot of things. Is it about someone you know taking their own life? That was the impression that I got from it, but also it could be b/c that happened to me. *shrugs* But great poem anyway!
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Wow - far out.
I like this song - especially rhymes! *candoodles with the rhymes*
Hmm .. I can almost find no mistakes here - a first.
Thoughtprovoking, rhytmic, "chordstriking" ... *thumbsup*
Job well done, Nat.
RJ
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Wow...this was a beautiful piece Natalie.
It kinda struck a cord for me, especially right now, you know? Anyways, I liked it.
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