Chapter one Neolis's Daughter

It was a strange night, there seemed to be a chill in the air, Neo looked around he felt as if he was being followed. After the fight with that golem he could barely stand. He held his side trying to keep from losing too much blood. He stood again feeling the same eerie presence as before he slowed down to give his body a chance to heal. It was cold in the forest tonight he taught to himself. He rested upon a tree, he looked at his wound. He watched as his skin steadily repaired itself healing the gaping wound.
Soon enough his muscle had formed back. He continued to watch as his skin had begun to cover up the exposed tissue. He looked up there it was again the presence he felt as if he knew; suddenly he felt it very close he stood up. Though his body had healed he was still tired, but he pushed on. He removed hi sword from his scabbard along his waist.
“Whoever is there should reveal their self while you still have a fighting chance,” he said as he closed his eyes. He felt it the energy was behind him now.
“Humph….I’ve finally found you father,” said a women’s voice from behind. Neo opened his eyes to find one of her twin swords inches from his neck.
“Ah….Nina you’ve grown up” he said. He slowly pushed her blade away from his throat. He turned and looked at her. She was the spitting image of him. Luminous black her with vibrant streaks of red. He could see that he had gained her demonican form he could see the red aura swirl in her blue-silvery eyes. A tear had begun to trickle from her left eye.
“Nina what do you plan to do to your own….father,” he asked her.
“I plan to….destroy him,” she said a she swung one of her swords. Neo had dodged the blade barely moving. She had fallen to he knees.
“Why father…..why did you leave us….when we needed you,” she asked him now crying heavily.
“Nina….I…wanted to but Avalon needs me now….I’m sorry, but daughter if this duel is what you truly seek then so be it I will concede,” he said to her.
She stood up and readied her weapons. She ran towards her father she swung the first blade as a distraction. Neo knew this he ran towards her at full speed their blades collided they pushed against each other causing their blades to spark as they rubbed against each other. They finally pushed each other back they both slid backwards
His daughter then begun to exude a red aura around her body. Two black wings had then sprouted from her back. Her hair turned a fiery red color she the placed both of he swords together turning it into a broadsword. She zoomed towards in a flash of crimson light. Their swords had then collided together. The force of sheer power made the earth beneath them. Neo had then made two white wings stretch from within his back. He flew into the air she followed. Their swords hit causing them to give sparks with each swing then continued on. Neo saw an opening in his daughter’s defense fighting with one sword wasn’t her forte. She swung at him. He then made a false swipe making her slide further then she intended to. He then grabbed her arm and begun to spin her around. He sent her flying towards the ground.
“Nina….watch over your mother for me,” he whispered to himself. He then held up his sword. It begun to glow in a dark purple “Paralyzing flash,” he yelled. He then zoomed to her like a flash of lighting. He was on the ground below her. Her then flew up to catch her he placed her onto the ground. She was unconscious.
“Nina don’t….worry you’ll be alright your body will only be paralyzed until you demonican blood can heal your nervous system,” he said to her as he rubber her hair. He then kissed her on the forehead. He stood up and placed his hands in a seal formation. He said an incantation for a barrier that would protect her for the night. He then out stretched his white angelican wings and flew of into the night

Author notes

NIKKO HAS SYPHILIS

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • wow, this was good. you had some good imagery in here. it was a little different, but different is good. lol. great!


  • Cupcake14
    January 30
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    Very original concept, a man fighting against his own daughter, I'd seen it in a movie once, and I was remembering that very scene when I read your story. Not accusing you of plagiarising of course. You need to improve a bit on the action front.
    Best of luck in the contest!


  • J-Dus
    December 22, 2008

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    Very good write Very creative and original, keep up the good work!
    -Jade-


  • Miss Recondite
    July 29, 2008
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    Sorry man, couldn't read to the end. Maybe I will do that some other time.... Just in case, I'm a female, just act like a boy sometimes.....


  • TheBlueRoad
    July 11, 2008

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    Otherworldly Fastinating!

    I really really like this a lot. Everything that happened there made me couldn't stop reading until the end. I really like the tone in this story and of the chracters' as well. It made me want to believe! It's not often that I enjoyed fantasy. So since I like it, that's great!

    I wish you could make the story morrrreeee llllloooonnnngggggeeeerrr. I really want to know what will happen next and what happened in the past. I am so curious about Neolis and his daughter, and his wife.

    I really like that you make the wings in black for Nina and for Neolis's to be white. It shows something about it and so enchantingly ambiguous because i can't tell who's good or not.

    It's crrreeative! You used wings. Father-daughter relationship. secrecy. A wisdom behind the father's hand. And DIALOGUES were awesome! I wish you could let us in more of Neolis's thought or response in his surroundings.


  • VioletConcept
    July 10, 2008

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    You need to fix the line spacing, i think it makes the story easier to read.
    I liked it other words, I didn't see any grammer issues, or spelling... OMG! NO WAY... GOOD JOB.
    hands Itachi a
    LETS THROW A FREAKING PART-A!

1 - 6 of 6