"I know I didn't mean it; it just sort of... happened. I hate myself for what I've done, and they all hate me, too. I never meant to abandon her--to ruin our friendship. Is there a chance I can save it somehow?" Your voice cracked as you squeezed in the last sentence, as you wished on the biggest star.1
Than your chocolate eyes engulfed a picture of a high elf, woman. Her complextion was white as snow. Black hair so long, that it would rap around her whole body. Sparkly blue eyes that all ways caught your breath. You remembered her soft sweet voice, that sang in your ears. 2
Your fingers ran through your brown short hair, as you took a seat in your lazy-boy. You looked up from the picture, and stared out of the window that stood right next to you. Black clouds swarmed the sky that was once filled with stars. They sounded like a drum as they clashed together. 3
You turned your head back at the picture, "Can our friendship even be saved?" They lightning has drowned away the moans of pain that slipped through your lips. Tears of sorrow flooded your eyes, and your cries of agony filled that lonely night. 4
The next day, you struggled your stuff on and rushed out the door. As you thumbed for a taxi, a voice called out to you, "Jason?" You turned to face your best friend, or was your best friend. His blue eyes grew as he recognized you. He pulled his green hair back, to reveal two pointy ears. He mumbled some words, that you couldn't make out. He gazed down at the floor, "Hi, Jason. Long time no see, hu?"5
You smiled, "Hi, Charlie. Yeah, long time no see." Charlie turned his attention towards the taxi that pulled up in front of you. Right before entering the vehicle, you asked, "How's Sarah?"6
Charlie snarled at you, "Oh, you mean the Sarah you left?!"7
You felt as if a hammer smashed your face. You yelled, "What;s with you elves?!"8
He finished, "What's with you humans? You love to hurt every one else but yourself. I thought you were different." His voice trailed, "But I was wrong." He left you stunned. 9
You froze as that elf walked away. A booming voice made you jump, "Hey, arn't you coming in?" The taxi driver asked. You rolled your eyes and slammed the door closed, as you entered the taxi. You thought that's it. I'm going to confront Sarah. 10
The taxi screeched next to a huge building. You got out and payed for the ride. Checking your stuff, you entered the building. Everyone scurried around, passing papers. You just sighed, and pushed your way to the front counter. You wanted to go to the counter because that's where Sarah was. 11
Sarah was behind the counter looking down to someone and talking to them. Must be our boss, Mort. He's a dwarf. You walked up and cleared your throat. Sarah looked up at you. Your heart skipped as you saw her long hair tied up in a braid. She was beautiful.12
Mort came around the counter and snorted at you, "Jason, I though you were still on vacation." You shook your head. 13
You turned to Sarah, who quickly looked down at her computer and started to type. He said as softly as you could, "Can we talk?" Sarah sighed and nodded at you. You grabbed her hand and lead her behind the building.14
You looked deep into her dull eyes, "I'm sorry for what happened. I just..."15
You were interrupted by Sarah. She spat, "Sorry, sorry! If everyone said sorry and was forgiven there would be no need for hell!"16
You held in the tears, "I was a fool. I'm sorry."17
Her hands held on her hips, "Yeah, you were a fool." Her voice grew weaker, "and you made me look like one two." Tears trickled down her cheek. She cried, "You left me. You said you would take me with you. I stood there waiting at the airport, just to find out you already left me! I thought you cared about me." She said with her back turned, "I don't know if we can still be friends."18
Tears dripped down your face, "I'm sorry." You managed to choke out as she walked back in the building. 19
Your chest felt heavy as you entered the building. You slumped on your chair that was right behind your counter. You searched through the notes that you and Sarah passed to each other.Three was his favorite. 20
The first one read, "Dear Jason, you and your spelling. Ha! Anyway, have you heared of the book called Secrets?"21
After that note you turned to the other note you liked,"Dear Jason, you haven't heard of it! Sorry about that. I've got something for you. It's something from that book. Can you guess what it is?"22
You pulled out a blue gem, that hung on a string, than you read the last letter you liked, "Dear Jason, It's called Gem of friendship. If the person that gave this to you still likes you, than the gem will shine. It's very useful, hope you like it." 23
You rolled your eyes and stuffed the notes back into your desk, but the gem stole your attention. It was emitting light, that filled your heart with warmth. You smiled and held the gem to your heart.
Author notes
I hope you like it. If you didn't, I'm sorry.
A contest entry
- Write The Rest of the Story by Radiance.
550 points, ended July 18, 7 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
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Rarr. Nice ending, when it seemed all hope was lost. At first I thought the elves were his imaginary friends o.o
Then I realized maybe Jason isn't human. I'm dumb.
Greattt job.
We should get a Gem of Friendship too XD

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Yeah, we should.
And, no you are not dumb. I guess, I sorta made this a tad confussing.
Hehe, mew!
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Aww...! Your ending is very touching and very hopeful.
I think I like that part the very best. And hooray--you've entered the first fantasy story! I like that very much.
Some pointers:
*In your second paragraph, there were a lot of sentence fragments.
*There are typos throughout the piece. A quick re-read will definitely help; sometimes you just made mistakes--like writing "two" instead of "too" (during Sarah's dialogue somewhere, if I remember correctly).
*Your pacing is a little fast. Adding more background information, maybe a little more detail about what happened BEFORE the story (and the characters' relationships) would help. I would really like to know why Jason left Sarah behind!
The fact that it is written in 2nd person makes this piece very unique.
And yes, I did like it!
All in all, this is an incredible and engrossing idea; if you expanded it enough and stretched the plot over a longer time period, this could be a fantastic novel plot! (I would totally buy the book.
)
Well done, and good luck! I hope my feedback helped! -
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Thank you, your feedback was veary helpful.
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