Revelation on how not to be


I see the way my dad talks to my mom
A simple everyday question is met by his
big anger silence- my mom appears to be used to this!1

I get a strange feeling of awkward disgust
Then I feel some kind of afterthought sorrow for her
and on a good day I feel for him too!2

I never thought of it this way before
It is simply respectful to reply to someone3

His silence to her shows how trapped he is inside himself
A crab in his soft shell, whose underlying soft skin
has no hopes of ever being exposed to others4

The light came on in me
The pen was drawn out
"I don't want to be like that- EVER!"5

Respectful is the only way to be
Speak your mind straight away
or else contemplate and come back to it
Do this before the trains collide!6

The only necessary thing is joy
When the structure of the mind
seeks to destroy it- deny this structure
and invent your mind anew!

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Comments

  • rbruce
    August 8
    Edit | Reply
    I am a writer of poetry but cannot write free verse well enough to post. You have done so well here, and put your message clearly and cleverly.

    Cheers

    Bob

  • Dun
    July 27

    Edit | Reply

    This is excellent.

    I am firm believer in that the message in art is more important than the methodology. And when I see both conjoined in excellence I rejoice. This is great.

    Respect is key in any relationship and my wife has been a tremendous influence in teaching me the importance of consideration when verbally interacting, and especially when in front of others. I get hot-headed sometimes and don't realize when I raise my voice. My wife never hesitates to later correct me in private(again she is so considerate)that she will not be spoken to in such a fashion. And I love her for that.

    We men are often stupid, callous and inconsiderate in a whole host of ways that women are so much more in control of. I have gotten much better because I want to get better. I all too often lean towards a**hole and she reels me back in and sets me straight again. I'm certainly the boss, but I defer to her wisdom in this department and hope daily to improve as she is far my superior in being considerate.

    I often am not silent when I should be and prefer to just puke out the facts and then pick up the pieces together. This has often been the source of much hurt. I'm learning to pause before I answer. Sometimes silence is a good thing, but not complete silence. That is what your write made me think of, the exact opposite of your situation here because I often am never silent and should be. But you cover that in wisdom, regarding how we should always speak our minds, if not straight away then later after contemplation. Very good words.

    Your writing reminds me a great deal of another poet I enjoy at sharepoetry that goes by the name of exoskeletal, so similar was the feel.

    I really enjoyed this. Most of all I enjoyed the clear logic and clarity of progression to your message. This was well constructed with a terrific message that should be old-hat to all that hear it, but so often none adhere to it. Nice work.

    al

    p.s. Oh, and just so you know, the read was a returned favor. The review was not. Your work stands on it's own in my book and could not be overshadowed by any possibility of obligatory glad-handing IMHO.