‘You haven’t changed a bit.’1
‘Neither have you’2
‘Still no sugar and …’3
‘Only a splash of milk. I can’t believe you have remembered that.’4
‘Its not really been that long, three years I think’5
‘Really? It feels a lot longer. So much has happened.’6
‘So what are you doing here?’7
‘Can’t a girl just drop in on an old friend when she is in his vicinity?’8
‘We were never just friends.’9
‘Don’t stay it like that’10
‘Clearly the years haven’t made it less complicated.’11
‘They haven’t made it any less painful either, but then I didn’t expect they would. Look. I didn’t want it to degenerate into this.’12
‘I still think about you a lot.’13
‘I think I have run over that night in my mind a thousand times, more so lately’14
‘Is that why you are here?’15
‘Yes and no. I’ve had a lot of time to think of late and … well I don’t really know I just thought about you and us, or whatever we had.’16
‘I thought you were happy now.’17
‘I am, I was. Things are a little up in the air right now.’18
‘What’s up?’19
‘Oh… don’t worry about it. I didn’t come here to bore you with my problems.’20
‘You used to.’21
‘What bore you, tah.’22
‘Yeah. You were always there for me. I used to look forward to seeing you when I got home.’23
‘They all changed when we…when things got complicated.’24
‘Was it that bad?’25
‘No, you always had the power, I ran along side, being equal didn’t work for us.’26
‘You think?’27
‘I know, like I said I have had time to think. I adored you. You were perfect. I think I found it hard to live with the reality when the dream had had so long to bloom.’28
‘I tried to live up to it.’29
‘I know, I blame myself. I never really stopped loving you.’30
‘Yeah I know.’31
‘Is that all?’32
‘What do you want me to say?’33
‘I don’t know. That you still care, that you miss the way things were three years ago, maybe that nothing has changed. It hasn’t changed for me.’34
‘Why now?’35
‘Because I am here now.’36
Author notes
I loved this option - I really wanted to get some dialogue done for a novel I plan on writing this year.
A contest entry
- My name is Inigo Montoya.. by Migfin.
300 points, ended July 6, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Awww! You managed to write something so sweet while avoiding any clichés, a very useful talent for a novel =)
The dialogue was all very relevant - that's my way of saying that you didn't do the thing many people do, when they try and give everything away and compromise the general effect. Well done! =D I was able to see what was happening in the characters' backgrounds through just their speech, and you built up an atmosphere around them.
This is a lovely bit of dialogue, very believable and heartfelt. Thanks for entering =)

