Re-Birthing

Chapter One1

It was a strange night, there seemed to be a chill in the air as the warm tropical wind blew in off the ocean.  When she would think about this one moment in time later, it would be more than a chill that would flood her memories. Anise was about to begin the journey of her soul and receive more than she had planned for on this beautiful island. 2

Anise gazed out toward the sea from the white sandy shoreline as she played tag with the in coming waves. It was her first week in this wonderful, topical paradise. She had fallen in love with the picture she saw in a travel magazine during the months and years of sitting by her dying husband's bedside. He had been so scared of dying and also so scared of living. She had lovingly cared for his every need.She had known in the deepest part of her soul they had become as one for her to ease the fear of death by showing him the path of enlightment.3

It had been three months since his death and Anise felt so lost and alone and empty. She had roamed the empty rooms of their house trying to find a vibration of his energy. Anise had memorized his energy field with her hands on the many nights she had lain awake listening for his next breath and feeling for the warmth of his body as he lay beside her, praying she would not feel the cold and stiffness of death.  4

Anise knew that he was still in the baptismal shower of healing love to restore his spirit soul that had been so raveged by disease during his past life on earth. He was being ministered to by his guardian angels. The fear he had acquired while on earth being erased from memory.  In an atmosphere of pure and perfect love, fear cannot exist because fear and love cannot exist within the same moment. Heaven is a place of being with no need for space or time.  Fear is the creator of past and future making us slaves of regret about the past and anxiety about the future.5

As the waves of the ocean lapped over and over, Anise came out of her past knowing she had no regrets of the past several years.  She only had to come to terms with the anxiety of her future.  Who was she?  She had lost herself somewhere in the past and wasn't quite sure who looked back at her in the mirror each morning. With this thought, the chill from the ocean breeze opened a path before her.  Was she ready to take the first step?6

In retrospect Anise would describe this moment as stepping through a time portal.  She was transported to her first past life and would view each life as if she were watching a movie except she would feel each and every experience of her previous lives as she had during that lifetime. Anise would, however, have the advantage of future knowledge and could change her reactions and her past life karma.   7

A small girl stood on a beach in front of an exotic tent castle. She had long black curls and large saucer brown eyes. The water was a clear blue and lapped wave after wave upon a white sand beach. Her name was Simpotica and she was a royal princess and enjoyed a life of riches, servants and complete joy. She vaguely remembered the night she and her parents had fled from the land of her birth and all that belonged to her family for centuries.8

Many men in black flowing robes and masks on huge black horses had stormed the castle in the dark of night  where Simpatico and her family lived. She remembered being whisked from her bed by her mother and held tightly to her mother's breast as she, her mother, father, and the most trusted servants fled through a secret passage.  The stairs were long and steep and as they descended, a cool dampness covered the steps and walls.  The stairs ended deep below the castle onto a stone landing beside a large pool of water.   Simpatico and her mother were carried aboard a waiting boat and covered with rich colored tapestry. She remembered the spray of cool sea water as the oars quickly slapped against the tide as they came out of the hidden cave entrance.9

The Captain of the ship had personally come to transport Simpatico and her mother to the ship docked on the coastline.  They had only the stars to guide their way. Simpatico was confused and scared but knew not to make a sound.  She had learned at an early age that she must not cry out when afraid.  She had hidden many times in the dark of night so the men in the dark flowing robes wouldn't find her if they ever successfully stormed the castle.  Tonight was the night they had succeeded.  One of Simpatico's fathers servants had betrayed them and had allowed a way in for these traitors.10

Simpatico peeped out from tapestry that covered her and her mother.  The moonlight shone brightly on the beach and she could see the men fighting on the beach.  In horror, she watched as the servant who had betrayed them was beheaded.  Even in the moonlight she saw the blood spurt from his body.  The fear that froze into her body because of that sight would follow her for life times to come buried deep in her subconscious until her lifetime of enlightenment.11

Anise's memory of her life as Simpatico was as fresh as if it were yesterday and it was the fears generated by that lifetime that became the driving force to seek appeasement and began her path to enlightenment.  Anise's life was punctuated by fear and anxiety from the time she was a little girl.  It was this fear that had caused her lifetime of pain resulting from the fibromyalgia.  She had to accept that her pain was actually a blessing.  Once Anise recognized and accepted and internalized this concept, her life took a dramatic turn.12

So many learning experiences presented themselves and Anise had to choose the experiences she wanted to master and put the fear behind her and out of her life for good.   Surrounded by the ocean and the memories of the pain both physical and spiritual that she had endured these past months, Anise knew it was time for her to think only of herself and for her to take care of herself for the first time in a long, long time.  It was time for re-birthing. 13

Chapter two14

Anise had not planned this vacation.  It was a surprise given to her by an old friend who had wanted to make her feel happy.  Anise's first reaction was one of terror and fear at the thought of leaving her home. She had not left her home for more than a doctor's appointment or a short trip to the grocery store in well over a year.  No, she couldn't travel.  She had to be at home.15

The reigning thoughts Anise had for many years was that she had to be somewhere or doing something for someone.  Somewhere in all the doing and being present for another at all times, Anise had lost her self.  Now with all the hours of aloneness that surrounded her, Anise had no idea who she was or what her purpose in life was to be.  16

She had known that she was to be a mother and this role had been her dream since she was a little girl.  Yet, becoming a mother was one of the hardest achivements that she would work to attain.  Each month for years Anise eagerly awaited the missed period that would indicate she was pregnant and each month she was disappointed.   This was a repeatable pattern month after month and year after year.   Anticipation, excitement and longing followed by disappointment and dispair, this was Anise's emotional state for years and years.  She would hide her pain with a smile and jokes.  No one would know her monthly pain and heartache.17

Anise had suffered with endometriosis for years, so her periods were marked by severe cramps, irregular periods, headaches, mood swings, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, irritability, and fear and dread contrasted by the possible joy she would feel were she to be pregnant.  She was always enduring pain whether it be physical or emotional.   18

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