Elizabeth moved the knight slowly and deliberately across the chessboard, looking at her opponent from the corner of her eye and uttered “checkmate”. A considerable amount of time passed and nothing happened, thinking that maybe the girl had not heard her, Elizabeth again said, “checkmate”, this time a little louder. The other girl slowly moved her hand to the king and toppled it. “Does it always take you so long to admit defeat?” Elizabeth asked, only to be answered by an amused glint in her eyes.1
It had not been long since Elizabeth came to Italy, for travelling was her main occupation. Elizabeth was a nice girl with greenish blue eyes and long black hair. She was far prettier than her friends but still had an unnatural tinge to her appearance.2
When Elizabeth came to Italy, it had suddenly started raining so she had to take shelter in the house. The owner who looked American, looked hard at Elizabeth and then said, “howdy mate, come on in!” Elizabeth asked for a room and he very hesitantly gave his daughter, Anna’s room. “She’ll be back by the morning and she doesn’t like strangers I her room.” he said. Elizabeth smiled and assured him that when she returned she would leave. Then she picked up her luggage and through a narrow corridor went into Anna’s room. Obviously his daughter preferred privacy. She made her way in and switched on the light. The room was well maintained and furnished with a slight feminine touch to it. When she came out she heard knocking on the door. Opening it she found the innkeeper with a worried expression. When he saw her his expression turned into a sheepish grin. He said that he had come to check on her. She thanked him for his hospitality and shut the door. Just when she was about to go to sleep, she again heard knocking on the door. God, why has he got to be so hospitable! She thought opening the door.3
To her surprise, instead of the innkeeper, she saw a pretty girl of almost her own age. She introduced her self as the innkeeper’s daughter, Anna. Remembering her promise with the keeper, Elizabeth gathered her stuff to leave but Anna stopped her saying that she intended to enjoy Elizabeth’s company. They played chess and Elizabeth defeated Anna 5 times. Elizabeth asked Anna, “You look familiar to me. I can’t recall you, have we met before?” Anna said, “I don’t think so.” “Well, it may have been some one else.” Elizabeth said walking towards the window. “You play very well and …….” But stopped since there was no one in the room. She thought that maybe Anna has gone out but she couldn’t recall the sound of the door being opened or closed.4
Anyway, as the light of the dawn was spreading, she picked up her things and went down. The innkeeper was waiting for her. When she came down, she saw a look of surprise on his face, which quickly vanished. After paying for the stay, Elizabeth told him to congratulate his daughter for she played class extraordinarily well. At this his face became host white. She helped him to his rocking chair and gave him some water. After some time he said, “perhaps you remember 10 years ago a flight named PA902 crashed on its way Italy to New York. Anna was on that flight. Nobody survived the crash- nobody! She appears and scares the living out who stay in her room. You are the first unaffected and calm about it.”5
She just smiled and walked away. Sometimes she still wonders what stopped her from telling that old man that she too was aboard that flight. That was how she knew Anna. The plane didn’t land and he was right. Nobody survived the crash. Nobody!
A contest entry
- Short stories 700 or less by Reaver.
170 points, ended July 22, 2008, 39 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
How interesting and creative do you find the story?
Comments
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Oooooo, creepy. I'm glad she didn't tell the old man... it would have freaked him badly. Anyway, very nice read. I found a couple of typos and awkward sentences, but I enjoyed the story very much. I liked the line 'Nobody survived the crash- nobody!'. It was very dramatic, and the repetition made it even more so. I wasn't quite clear... did she meet Anna on the plane? Did Anna remember her? Also, did they look like ghosts or normal people? If it was normal people, why were people staying in Anna's room so scared by her? If it wasn't nomal people, why didn't the old man notice Elizabeth was a ghost? Sorry, lots of questions, lol. I really enjoyed the story, especially the beginning. Very simple and fluid. Checkmate. A very good word, and you tied in your title right at the beginning, which was nice. Keep it up, this was a very good and rather creepy read with a nice twist at the end of it!
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I'm glad you asked so many questions. That's the way how a writer can improve. Critical analysis.
Anyway - to answer your questions... the ghosts could recognize their partner ghosts but nobody else could. It was probably something in there eye- a certain glow.
and No Elizabeth did not meet Anna on the plane but wa familiar with her face.
Thank you for commenting on the story. I guess i had the answers to all these in my mind but they never made it to the actual story! Thank you for pointing out!
~Arooj~
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Kinda creepy
very well done and thanks for entering. D


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Nice. Ghost chess.
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suspenseful. good descripton. and GOOD JOB AS ALWAYS! Your amazingly talented, girl. keep up the super work!
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Cool
You almost gave a me a heart attack there! I think it was relatively short, a little telling instinct rather than showing, and simple language. I did get lost in the beginning but you did an overall splendid job.beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 2, characters: 3.
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thankyou for your analysis i tried keeping it short on purpose since it was my first attempt at a 'ghost-story'. i will certainly work on the 'shwing' part you mentioned.
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