...as easy as...

What’s the last few seconds of your life like? I’ll bet old Jesse Truman could tell you…if he was still alive, that is.1

Jesse Truman was sitting on the porch of “the old homestead”, as he called it, a weather beaten frame house that had “too many windows” on cleaning day. Jesse had been born in that old house, had lived there all of his 70+ years of life, and had no doubt that he would die there one day. He had long ago left the date of his leaving in the hands of his Lord, whom he worshipped fervently. It could be ten years from now, or next week, or today, as far as he knew, but he didn’t care, the matter was out of his hands. 2

Jesse had celebrated his 70th birthday in early March, and he had his good days and his bad days; but today he felt more spry and young than he had in months. It was Father’s Day, and a warm summer sun was caressing him as he watched all his grand and great-grand children play on the porch and in the yard. Some of them were swinging on the tire swing hanging from the gigantic pecan tree in the front. His 28 year old daughter [his youngest] was even kicking up her heels and laughing, belying the fact that she already had two children, with yet another on the way. Jesse had named her Samantha, after that cute little witch that used to be on TV, the one that wiggled her nose so funnily. Jesse sighed, thinking “why can’t they have shows like that anymore? Everythin’ nowadays was sex and violence, and then more sex and more violence, take your pick. I bet the devil watch it 24/7”.3

Sam [that’s what everybody called Samantha] was standing in the yard amongst dive-bombing kids from the tire swing, anxiously eying her daddy sitting on the porch. If she had told him once, she had told him a thousand times, “Daddy, you too old to be sittin’ up there on that railing. You’re gonna fall one of these days and break your fool neck, and you know what daddy? I’m just gonna laugh, daddy, that’s all I’m gonna do, is just laugh”! Then she hung her head and let her chin drop on her chest, and thought, “well, I’d guess I’d better go tell the ‘old fool’ one mo time”.4

With that, Sam stomped up on the porch, her anger causing her to make as much noise as possible, and her feet slapping the boards some how soothed her and quieted her just a bit. Her daddy looked at her, his well-known, glorious smile springing to life on his face; he knew full well what she was there to do.5

“Daddy”, Sam said, “please move your skinny butt off that railing and come sit on the porch in a regular chair, like a regular man would do, please! I don’t want to have to be out in this heat picking your tail up out of the flower garden”.6

“Honey, that be what they make boys for”, he said, referring to her two brothers Slim and Jojo. “They is strong boys, they can pick my ass up out of the garden pretty easy”.7

Feeling the anger rising again, Sam stomped her foot, and said, “Daddy! It won’t be necessary for anyone to pick anybody up, if you’ll just listen to me and get down off that porch railing”!8

“Okay, okay”, he said. “Just calm your pretty little head down and I’ll climb down from here”.9

With that, Jesse waved his hand and started to ease himself off the railing, when one of those “moments” in life began to unfold.10

One of the young-uns flung a Frisbee, just because he could, and it flew smoothly across the porch straight at his “paw-paw”. “Look out, paw-paw!”, and Jesse put his left hand up to deter “the flight of the Frisbee” [hadn’t he seen that show before?], but the disc curved gracefully away at the last second, missing him by a good five feet. However, Jesse’s hand continued up and struck the hanging basket that was affixed to the ceiling beside him, turning it half over. That old ivy had been there a long time, its tendrils nearly reaching the floor from it’s height of lofty independence. But, not for long…quickly, the ivy and the soil came out of the pot and plopped onto Jesse’s lap, hitting him dead center between his narrow hips and causing him to yelp in pain. Frantically brushing at the mess in his lap, Jesse decided that it was “fo’ sho” time to get down now, but before he could do so, his oldest great-granddaughter [2 and a half] rolled a skate board across the porch, striking the railing and stopping right beneath his feet. Sighing, Jesse paused once again, while Sam started on her way to fetch it. Just then, one of the boys playing in the yard chunked a “super” ball that was intended for one of his brothers. The boy, however, was too young to have developed good “throwin’ directional’s”, and the ball smacked against the side of the house and bounded crazily towards his paw-paw. Jesse reached up to catch it, but the ball bounced higher than he had anticipated, and he had to reach higher and backwards in his effort to intercept it. The ball seemingly “laughed” at his hands as it flew over them, landing back in the yard where the giggling boys ran to pick it up. And Jesse…Jesse realized he was falling… 11

Jesse thought, "Well, hmmp, I'll fix this!", and threw his hands and arms forward to correct his balance, as he had done any number of other times in his life. But, this time, it didn’t work, and Jesse realized that he just didn’t have the necessary upper body strength anymore. He was falling, and there was no going back…12

Jesses head was pitched back a little right at that moment, and he found himself staring up at the brilliant blue sky they had been blessed with that day, and he remembered another day of blue skies. His father had come home early from work at the sawmill, it being the slow time of the year for that kind of work. He saw Jesse walking around the house, helping his momma with the housework, and thought, “Beautiful day like today, an eight year old boy ought to be outside doin’ something”. With that thought, his father had started poking around the house, looking for “building materials” to do what he wanted. Soon, he had gathered up some paper and string and glue, and a couple of light-weight sticks he had gleaned from somebody’s trash, firm in the knowledge that some day he would find a use for them. “That some day” was here, and Jesse’s father placed all his stuff on the table and began his construction.13

“Come here, boy”, his father said, “you need to be watchful of these goings on”.14

So Jesse went to the table and watched as his father made an elongated “X” with the sticks, tying them with string at the crossing point, and then looped string around the perimeter of the “X”, fastening it securely. Using the paper and the glue, his father covered the framework, and what once had been a pile of bits and pieces of trash became a kite, much to Jesse’s amazement. Jesse’s father had him go get his water colors, and then let him paint the kite, using any shapes and colors he desired. Meanwhile, he gathered up some old pillow cases that were just “layin’ around doin’ nuthin”, and tore them into strips to make a brightly colored tail for the kite. Soon, all their work was finished, and it was time for the first flight of the “made-one”, as he called the kite.15

And so, they proceeded out into the back yard, Jesse holding the kite, and his father holding the string. There was a fair breeze blowing, and after a few minor adjustments to the tail, the “made-one” was airborne for good, flying high against a blue, blue, sky like no one had ever seen. Jesse looked back at the step, where his momma was standing, an incredibly wide smile on her face…16

Jesse looked at the porch again, but this time he saw Sam standing there, who was most definitely not smiling. Sam looked like she was opening her mouth to say something, but something was wrong, terribly wrong. She looked like she was standing still, but she wasn’t, Jesse could see the almost imperceptible movement of her feet, coming toward him. But Sam was moving slowly, way, way, too slowly, almost inhumanly slow. Jesse could hear sound now, starting to emit from her eerily spreading mouth, sounding somewhat like a tornado moving toward him. “Ddddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…” she was saying…17

But Jesse’s attention wandered to the porch, that old, white-washed porch that had been around nearly as long as he. He remembered when they had first built it, when Jesse had been around, oh, 14 or 15 or so. His uncle Zeke had come over real early on a Saturday morn, the back of his pick-up truck loaded with lumber, the passenger seat with an old TV that Zeke had gotten from somewhere. They sat it in the front doorway, so they could watch the baseball game on it later, the Yankees vs. somebody, take your pick. Back in those days, it was always the Yankees vs. somebody, the “somebody’s” would change, but the Yankees never did. The TV had one of those pull out “rabbit ear” antennas on it, so you got to watch a lot of snow along with the ball game. His uncle Zeke was a humorous man, he used to say that he “paid extry for that antennar”, so’s he could “watch the snow for free”. Then he would laugh and say that he would have “brought along his 1000 foot antennar”, but it wouldn’t fit in the back of his truck, “har-har”. Jesse’s uncle Zeke was the only one in the entire Truman clan that had a TV, and whenever he “went visitin’”, he would carry it along with him. The family appreciated that.18

Anyway, Jesse remembered, it was threatening rain that day, and they were in a hurry to get started. They gulped down the breakfast his momma had fixed, and soon the neighborhood was filled with the sound of their ringing saws and hammers. Jesse was inexperienced, but he did what he could when he could, which consisted mostly of carrying and holding lumber, but they let him cut a board and drive a nail every once in a while, and Jesse began to develop a little pride in his work. The early morning threat of rain gave way to humid, oppressive heat in the afternoon, but still they labored.19

They finished with the building just before dark, roof and all. The only thing left was the painting, and Jesse’s father informed him that, “Son, that’s your job for tomorrow”. Later on, after they had loaded Zeke’s truck up with the remnants and the TV and said their goodbyes, his father had looked at him and said, “Well, Jesse, whaddaya think?”20

And, Jesse had thought for a minute, and said, “You know what, paw? It’s a lot like building a kite, ain’t it?”21

Jesse’s head swiveled back as he continued his fall. Sam looked like she had almost completed a step, a look of horror creeping into place on her face now. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”, was all she said. Then, behind him, Jesse saw the pecan tree, the old pecan tree, that he had helped his momma plant when he and the tree were both young… 22

She had “acquired” the tree from Mr. Pritchard, the white man who had a pecan grove a couple of miles down the road from their house. The asking price was free, and momma didn’t haggle about that none; all they had to do was dig it up and tote it to the house and plant it. He recalled he had spent one entire blesset day digging a hole for the tree, with momma standing over his shoulder and constantly saying, “that’s not wide enough yet, son, that’s not deep enough, son”. It seemed to Jesse like she was doing that every five minutes or so, although Jesse was sure now that it wasn’t quite that often. Anyway, when the sun had started down that “slippery slope” towards nightfall, his momma finally pronounced the hole “good enough fer now”, and told Jesse to put the tools up and come eat. Jesse remembered thinking that night that that had been some “pretty hard work”, but little did he know what tomorrow had in store for him.23

Early the next day, he, his momma and daddy, and his Uncle Zeke proceeded by way of Zeke’s pick-up to Mr. Pritchard’s farm to “pick the new tree up”, as his momma put it. Mr. Pritchard greeted them with a smile and a pot of coffee, and told them to “dig right in”, heh-heh. They did as Mr. Pritchard suggested and had a cup of coffee, and then “dug in”.24

There began what Jesse was to remember forever as the “hardest 13-14 hours work” he had every done. He would dig down to a root, and his momma would say, “Jesse Truman don’t you cut that root, you dig it up real gentle-like and be careful with it”, and he would do as his momma said. They weren’t the only family there doing it either, Jesse saw several of his friends at the water barrel during the day, all of them saying the same thing about “how bad their backs was a-hurtin’”. But, Mr. Pritchard was “a-thinning out the orchard”, and today was the day to get the trees, so there he and his friends were, digging like they’d been born with a shovel in their hands. And, to tell the truth, when they finally got that tree out of the ground, Jesse wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to lay that old shovel down or not; it felt like it was part of him now. 25

There was only about 3-4 hours of daylight left when they got the tree loaded in Zeke’s truck, but the plantin’ went a lot quicker and easier than the diggin’ up had, and they were through before dark. While they were doin’ the plantin’, Jesse could see why his momma had him dig the hole the way she did, with wide sides to lay the long roots in, so they wouldn’t be all folded over and tangled up as they got used to their new home. “Room enough to breath in” was the way his momma put it, and Jesse realized right then and there that there was “a right way and a wrong way” to do everything, and his momma had the transplantin’ the right way. As soon as they finished, she announced that she was “a-goin’ to have her morning coffee on the new porch and look at her tree ever day”, the “new” porch being only one or so years old by then.26

As they were going in the house that night, he remembered his father askin’ him, “Well, son, was that kinda like building a kite too”?27

Jesse had looked at his father and said, “No, paw, that wasn’t NUTHIN’ like building a kite”! 28

Jesse recalled he didn’t need no help goin’ to sleep that night, and he was actually happy to go to school the next day…29

Jesse heard that sound again then, the “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” sound that Sam was making. He saw that she had completed a step on the porch, but still she was moving too slowly, much too slowly. “Fool woman ain’t never goin’ to get nowhere movin’ like that!”, he thought. But then he heard the rumble of a loggin’ truck movin’ down the street in front of the house. He remembered unloading trucks like that when he took his first full-time job after graduatin’ from high school…30

Jesse had been working part-time at Johnson’s Grocery during the school year, nights and weekends during school, five full days a week during the summer, iffen his momma didn’t have something better for him to do. Momma would call Mr. Johnson on the party-line and say “look I need Jesse to do such-and-such for me today”, and that was that. Mr. Johnson would give him the day off, and nuthin further would ever be said about it. 31

Anyway, working at Johnson’s didn’t pay much by anyone’s standards; a small hourly wage and whatever tips you could get, which weren’t much in a small town filled with poor folks. But then came his “graduatin’”, and right after that his paw came home one day and told him there was an “opening” down at the sawmill, “iffen he wanted it”. Jesse knew that whenever his father said “iffen you want it”, what it really meant was “you’d better by God take it if you know what’s good for you”, and so the next day he had gone down and applied. 32

The application process went smoothly and the very next Monday Jesse went to work. He knew that his father had quite a bit to do with him being hired so quickly; his father had worked at the sawmill for years and years, and had the reputation of being a “hard working man”. But Jesse didn’t mind that, working at the sawmill paid a heck-uva-lot better than working at Johnson’s did, and he was busy and time just seemed to fly right on by while he was there. The only thing that bothered Jesse a little was the shift work; during the busy season the mill operators would bring temporary help in from out of town and go to an eight-hour, three-shift schedule, and you couldn’t ever tell what part of the day you might end up working. But still, Jesse liked it, and he dove into his work with a passion. Before long, he began to develop a reputation of his own much like his father’s, and swelled with pride the day he overheard one of his foremen say, “Be sure you fetch that Truman boy over to help with this project, he can for sure get the work done”.33

So Jesse toiled merrily along, and was rightfully happy. To a man that had transplanted a pecan tree before, this kind of work weren’t nuthin’, although most of the guys working there complained about it. Jesse just kept on smiling and kept on working, with never a complaint passing his lips.34

One day, he caught up with one of his friends at the water-barrel, and told him, “You know, Al, this here work ain’t shit really. Why, it’s kinda like…kinda like…kinda like building a kite, that’s what it is”! Al had just scratched his head and walked on off… 35

That “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddd” sound was still coming out of Sam’s mouth; her back foot raised now, coming forward. Jesse realized now that she was screaming and trying to get to him, but he couldn’t for the life of him imagine why. Sure, he was falling, but all he was going to do was land on his back in the soft earth of the flower garden his momma had started years ago, after they had built the porch. 36

“Why, shoot”, thought Jesse, “It’ll be just like landing on a big ole balloon”! Out of the corner of his left eye, he caught a glimpse of the yellow rose bush that Thelma had planted just after they had gotten hitched, and she had moved into the house with Jesse, all done with momma’s approval, of course.37

Jesse remembered the day of his 22nd birthday his folks had a little party for him; nothing special, just cake and ice cream and party hats and picture-takin. When the cake and the ice cream were gone, and all the “little” kids were in the yard working it off playing, his momma had called him into the house; she was “a-wantin’ to talk to him”, she said. Jesse didn’t have any idea what she wanted to talk about, but he quickly went, ‘cause when momma called you did what she said, and that was the end of it.38

They had sat down at the kitchen table, where all the talking was always done, with his momma looking at him a bit apprehensively he thought. It was the first time in his life that Jesse could ever remember his momma struggling for words, but there she was, seemingly not knowing where to begin. At last, Jesse saw her take a deep breath and begin a conservation with him that was to affect the rest of his life.39

“Jesse”, she said, “you know you a growed 22 year old man now, right”?40

“Yes’m”, said Jesse.41

“And, you know that me and your paw ain’t getting no younger, right”?42

“Yes’m”.43

“And you know we ain’t got no grandchildren, and that you’re our only child, right”?44

“Yes’m”.45

“Well, Jesse, me and your paw would like to know when in great heaven’s day are you gonna get MARRIED”, said his momma, with her face in her hands.46

“Married momma?” said Jesse nervously. “Why, I guess I ain’t rightly thought about it none, momma”.47

“Jesse”, said his momma, nervous herself, “I know you got some ‘sperience with women, I seen you walking into Hallies Roadhouse before with some of your no-count friends, and I know what goes on in there. Now, mind you, I ain’t saying nuthin about the women that work there, they got their role in life to fulfill, and most of ‘em probably work harder than you do. But they ain’t the right kind of woman to get hitched to, and you know it”!48

“Momma”, said Jesse while working his finger around underneath the collar of his shirt and wishing he was somewhere else right now, “you know about me goin’ to Miss Hallies”?49

“Oh, no, Jesse”, said his momma sarcastically, “I’m blind and I can’t see, how could I possibly know about that? I wish I had a nickel for every time I had to run your paw out of there after he promised to marry me”. 50

“Momma”, Jesse said, “Hallies was around back then”?51

“Sure was, son, ‘ceptin’ it was called Rhonda's back then. The name’s changed, but every thing else is just the same. But, looky here, you trying to get me off the subject; the subject being when are you gonna get hitched, boy”?52

“I don’t rightly know, momma”, said Jesse truthfully, “I guess I just ain’t found the right woman yet”.53

“What about that nice young lady that sits with you ever Sunday in church”?54

“Oh, momma, she more like a fishin’ buddy than a girlfriend”, said Jesse.55

His momma sighed again then, and put her face back in her hands, Jesse remembered. “Ok, boy, ok, please just try and find someone before your paw and I move on, ok? You can go now, Jesse. Have some fun, it’s your birthday”.56

It always made Jesse anxious when his momma started talking about “movin’ on”, so he got up quickly. Jesse remembered going around the table and kissing his momma, saying “Don’t worry none, momma, it’ll happen some day”.57

And, about two years later, it did…58

One Saturday, Jesse was downtown shopping for some Levi’s, when he saw Thelma through the window of the Ben Franklin five-and-dime store working behind the register. They still called it the five-and-dime store back then, even though it had officially become a 10 and 25 cent store several years ago. Jesse couldn’t figure out why it was called either, being as most things were upward of fifty cents anyhow. Anyway, Jesse thought she was about the best looking thing he had ever seen, and she had to be new in town ‘cause he’d never seen her before. So Jesse decided to walk in and do a little shopping at the Ben Franklin as well.59

He remembered she was wearing her name tag that day, "Thelma Johnson" it said, so Jesse knew her name right away. 60

"May I help you in some way, sir", she had asked?61

"Why, yes'm, I believe you might can, Mrs. Johnson", said Jesse, looking at her name tag. "Does you have any kites here ma'am"?62

"Yes, sir, we sure do, they are way back in that corner over there. And, the name is Miss Johnson, thank you kindly".63

Jesse recalled he could feel her eyes on him as he walked to the back. "Miss Johnson"? Why, she sure had emphasized that "miss" part, Jesse remembered, thinking and chuckling. "Yes, ma'am, Miss Johnson, I sure will remember that!", he had thought.64

Jesse had taken his time rummaging through the kites; finally picking out one that displayed the American flag on it, seeing as how the Fourth of July was right around the corner. And it was made of plastic, too, so's it could stay up in the rain as well.65

Having made his choice, Jesse had wandered back up to the counter, where he gave Miss Johnson her 25 cents for the kite while she wrapped it. Jesse wanted to ask her something else, but he felt very nervous, just like he did when he was talking to his momma sometimes. Finally, however, he had overcome his case of “nerves”, and while steadfastly staring at his shoes, he had said, “Oh, Miss Johnson, they’s one more thing you might could help me with, iffen you would”.66

Thelma had smiled, full of the knowledge that only a woman has, and said “Oh? And what might that be, sir”?67

“Oh, uh, ah…”, Jesse had begun, stumbling for the right words, “ah…they is havin’ a hay ride out at Mr. Pritchard’s farm, and…I was a-wonderin’ if maybe you would like to go out there with me, that’s all”.68

“Oh, that’s all, Mr. person whose name I don’t even know! Do you mean like a date?” she had said, teasing now. 69

“Shucks, I’m sorry, very sorry Miss Johnson, the name is Truman, Jesse Truman, of the ah, Truman…Trumans”, Jesse had finished lamely. “And yes’m, I do mean like a date and all”!70

“Well, I guess you know Mr. Truman”, Thelma had said, giggling inside, “I’ll have to think a day or two on that”!71

“Yes’m, I reckon you will”, he had said, a big smile spreading across his face. At least, she hadn’t said no! “I…I’ll talk to you later then”, Jesse said, and gathered up his kite and headed for the door. He was about halfway there when he had heard her soft voice behind him. “Jesse”, she had said, “you can call me Thelma now, and I’d be most happy to go with you to the hay ride”.72

Jesse had practically flown home; he couldn’t even feel his feet touching the ground, and he couldn’t wait to tell his momma the news.73

At home, Jesse’s momma hadn’t been having a good day, the house didn’t want to clean itself, and the potatoes didn’t want to peel themselves, and there wasn’t nobody goin’ to do the washing but her, and so on.74

But then, the front door had sprung open, and in flew the sunshine of her life, her only son Jesse. She felt better immediately, but not anywhere near as good as she was goin’ to feel in a couple of minutes.75

“Momma”, her son had said, “I got good news; I got a date, a real date, momma”!76

“A date?” said momma. “Why, that for sure is good news”.77

“Yeah, momma, with a girl, a real purty girl, momma”, Jesse had said.78

His momma had held her sides, and had started laughing and shaking her head. “A girl? Well, thank the Lord for that”, was all that would come out of her mouth.79

Six months later, he and Thelma were standing in front of the Right Reverend Stillwell, saying their “I dos” and “I wills”, and their “I won’ts”. It took a little while, ’cause the Right Reverend was big on the “I won’t” parts, but finally the deed had been done, and they had kissed and gone on their way. They had spent the weekend in Galveston, which was about all the family could afford. It didn’t matter anyhow, they could have spent the weekend anywhere; neither he nor Thelma could tell you what the beach looked like that weekend, they never left the room long enough to see it.80

That Monday they both took the day off from work, and moved into Jesse’s house. Jesse’s father and his uncle Zeke had built a new room onto the house, along with a new bathroom adjoining it. It hadn’t taken long to move in, Thelma didn’t have much, and all Jesse had to do was rearrange his “stuff”. At the wedding, someone had given them that old yellow rose bush, still in a pot. After the moving was done, Thelma had planted it in the garden next to the porch, where it could get sun and shade both. Jesse had sat in the rocker on the porch, happy and content.81

“Thelma?”, he remembered saying, “why me, why did you pick me”? By this time, Jesse was already becoming well versed about who really ran the world.82

“Why, Jesse, it was because the first time you came into the store, you bought a kite, a kite, Jesse! If you had bought some cigars or something like that, I wouldn’t have given you the time of day. But, you didn’t, you bought a kite, just like a big kid going out to play; that’s why I agreed to go out with you”!83

Jesse still hadn’t really understood, but he had said with a thoughtful look on his face, “Them doggone kites will get you in trouble every time”, and then ducked as a handful of dirt flew by his head. 84

“Dddddddddddddddddddddyyyyyy…”, Sam’s voice droned on and on, her second step almost on the floor now. The yellow rose bush on Jesse’s left drifted slowly up as he fell slowly down. Looking through the petals and leaves, Jesse could glimpse Slim, his first born…85

Slim had been a long time coming, Jesse recalled. His momma and paw had thought that perhaps Thelma and Jesse would present them with their first grand child in their first year of marriage, but it didn’t happen. Nor did it happen in the second year or the third, and it became a worrisome thing for Jesse and the rest of his family.86

“Lord knows, it’s not because we ain’t tryin’ momma, ‘cause we is”, Jesse would say somewhat sheepishly. “I ain’t wearing nuthin and Thelma ain’t takin’ nuthin, and we ‘bout done wore out that new bed Uncle Zeke gave us for a weddin’ present, but it still ain’t happenin’. Maybe we need to go see the doctor, or something”.87

“No, Jesse”, his momma would always say at that point, “when the Lord up above decides you ready for a child, he’ll give you one. ‘Til then, not even all the doctors in the world can help you none.”88

And that would be that, of course, bein’ that it was momma that was doin’ the speaking, and he and Thelma would continue with the old try, and then try again method. ‘Course, Jesse had kind of liked that part, he remembered.89

He and Thelma had made appointments to see the doctor anyway, without mentioning anything about it to momma, of course. The sawmill had instituted an insurance plan a couple of years ago, and Jesse had been one of the first to sign up, putting Thelma on the plan as well. Anyway, he had all this coverage he was paying for, so Jesse decided he might as well get some use out of it. So they had made the appointments, on separate days of course, to keep momma from getting suspicious. Momma was still suspicious, though, women “had to” go to the doctor every once in a while, but her son had seemingly never had a sick day in his life, and she wondered about him. Oh, she heard that little fake “cough” he had been feigning around the house for a few days, but she had seen right through that. Funny how his paw hadn’t said anything about Jesse coughing at work, mm-hmm. But, she decided not to say anything, whatever became of the matter was the Lord’s work, and momma believed that he worked in mysterious ways, Amen.90

So Thelma and Jesse kept their respective appointments. After the doctors had finished all their poking and prodding, and had run all their endless tests, their “main” doctor, Wellington “Well” O’Brien, had pronounced them “well and fit”, and able to conceive.91

But still it didn’t happen…five years, six years, seven years, eight years, the time rolled on. Momma had started what she called “baby-shoppin’”; looking for babies for them to adopt. It turned out though, that Thelma and Jesse didn’t have enough income to satisfy any of the agencies. Then she had started “asking around town”, trying to find someone that was thinking about relocating and “starting a new life”, without any children in their way. But, in a small town like theirs, things like that just didn’t happen very often. People who were born there, usually ended up dying there, and that was that.92

Nine years, ten years, eleven years, Jesse was afraid he might lose count. The family [and Thelma] had pretty much given up hope, and Thelma was even thinking about starting on birth control pills to help “regulate” her some. But she would come home and see Jesse sitting on the porch lost in his own thoughts, and would realize that there was “something missing” in his life. Then she would bravely peer into her own heart, and realize there was something missing there as well. She had known that that “something” was the child that hadn’t been able to have so far, so she would put off going to the doctor for a while, for the “umpteenth” time.93

Then one day Jesse took off from work early. It had been slow at the mill all month, and by now Jesse was on salary, so it didn’t make any difference as far as his pay. He had steadily moved on up in the company hierarchy, and by now was practically an executive, or a “white shirt”, as he and his buddies had used to derogatorily call those in power back when he was just a “working stiff”. 94

Jesse had timed his exit from work so he could meet Thelma as she was getting off work. Thelma was a “shift manager” at the Dairy Queen now, which basically meant that she got to do a whole lot of work for not very much money, but what she did make helped with the bills, of course. She had once dreamed of going to college, but had discarded that plan soon after their marriage. Thelma just didn’t think she could bear to be away from her Jesse for that long…and she was pleasantly surprised when she saw him standing in the parking lot, waiting for her.95

They had hugged and kissed and laughed about something, and began walking home holding hands, still boyfriend and girlfriend after all these years. Jesse remembered it had been threatening rain all day long, and a little while after they had put the DQ behind them, here it came. There was a bolt of lightning and a rumbling thunderclap, and big, shiny drops had started falling from the sky. Jesse had a small umbrella with him, and he had sprung it open and put it over them, mainly trying to protect Thelma. But along came one of those big gusts of wind that thunderstorms are noted for, and it proceeded to turn the umbrella inside out. Jesse remembered he had looked at it disgustedly, and then chunked it over to the side of the road. He had smiled at Thelma and said, “Looks like we gonna get wet, baby”, and they had laughed and kept on walking. Within seconds it was pouring down hard, quickly soaking them through. They both knew it wasn’t any use running; you got just as wet running as you did walking.96

Soon, they had reached the house, and Jesse somehow was feeling excited. There was something about the way Thelma’s wet body felt against his, and about how her wet clothes kind of let him see through…They never even made it to the porch, falling instead into the wet, muddy, soupy yard; where they had made love with more passion than they had in a long time. When it was over, they went into the house, where they had softly bathed each other, kissing and murmuring little sweet nothings in each other’s ear. Momma had slept on the couch through the whole thing; she had always loved sleeping in stormy weather.97

A month later, Thelma’s period didn’t come around, nor did it for the two weeks after that, he recalled. She and Jesse got excited, and Thelma went to see the doctor. About two hours later, she came walking home, a look of angelic bliss on her face. “Lord, help us, she’s pregnant”, momma had said as soon as she saw her.98

And, she was…99

Slim was born on schedule, almost nine months to the day of the “miracle of the thunderstorm” as they called it now. Jesse remembered Thelma asking him, “What are you going to name him”? 100

“Why“, said Jesse, “I think I’ll name him Samuel, after my father”. 101

He was 36, and Thelma was 34, but it was only the beginning for them. Two years later, Jojo was born, with Jesse naming him “Samson”, on account of he was so big and robust looking at birth; and then four years after that, the girl had been born.102

“What you gonna name her?”, Jesse had asked.103

“Samantha, of course”, Thelma had said. “I want us to stay all nice and confused with all these ‘Sam’s’ running around”. They were still laughing when Thelma and the baby came home three days later.104

“Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”, Jesse heard through his reverie, and once again he was hanging over the garden, falling. Sam had finished her second step, and was beginning her third, but it was too late for her to do anything, Jesse knew. Even so, he still wasn’t worried, he still had all that wet, soft earth to fall in to, and he could even feel some of it pressing against his left elbow now. But then, Jesse saw something out of the corner of his eye that really gave him a start. It was one of those big ole sharp rocks that Jesse and his momma had ringed the garden with a long time ago. You know the kind of rock, one of those yellowish-white stones that some rich people liked to put on the outside of their homes; they were better’n brick, everyone said. He and his Uncle Zeke had picked some of them up while out ridin’ one Sunday; part of the leftovers from a house that was already finished. Jesse could see that they were a little closer to the house than he remembered, and that his head was going to smack right into one of ’em, a big, ugly stone with a sharp ridge running right across the top. It was then that Jesse began to remember about death…105

After Sam had been born, all was happiness for a while, at least until the accident at the sawmill. Sam was now two years old, and Jesse was sitting on the porch watching her play, being as it was a Saturday and he was off work and all that. The sawmill was busy, though, and had put in a call for overtime work for those who wanted it. Jesse’s father had decided to go in and “git some of that”, as he put it. Jesse had argued with him, telling him he was over 70 years old [“I reckon I know how old I am, son”] and that he ought to be taking it easy [“got the rest of my life fo’ that] and that they didn’t need the money anyhow [“you wasn’t raised on dreams, son”]. Jesse’s final, pleaful argument was that Sam needed some one to play with; her brothers were off flying kites. “That’s what she got you here for, son”, were his father’s final words on the subject, and then he had started trudging down the road to the sawmill.106

Later in the day, a fearful rumble was heard in the vicinity of the sawmill. It seems some great big ole pine logs started rolling when they wasn’t supposed to, and some people got hurt. Jesse’s uncle Zeke was there, “gittin’ some” of that overtime as well, and he got conked in the head by a passing log, going into dream-land for a few minutes. When he awoke, the first thing he had done was to search for his brother.107

“Samuel, Samuel, where are you”, he had called out, over and over.108

A few hours later, they found him. He was right smack-dab at the bottom of the pile, mashed flatter that a fritter. Zeke had put his hand on him, and said a short goodbye, and then proceeded to go find Jesse.109

Jesse was right where his father had left him, sitting on the porch, though Sam was inside getting her afternoon nap. He was both surprised and happy to see his uncle, even though, Lord knows he saw him at least once or twice a week. Zeke had shook his nephew’s hand, and, with a small smile on his face, had told him there had been an accident down at the sawmill.110

Jesse had sprung up immediately, saying, “An accident? Did paw get hurt”?111

The little smile had then vanished from his uncle’s face, to be replaced by a few tears running out of the corners of his eye.112

“Jesse”, Zeke said, “he’s dead”.113

They held the funeral three days later, on a bright, sun-shiny day. Several of his father’s colleagues from work had gotten up and said some kind things about him, while Jesse and his family remained as quiet as they could, shaking hands and listening to the words of those in attendance as they passed by. Then everybody had arisen and walked to the cemetery, singing psalms and holding hands. Just before they started throwing the dirt in, Jesse had walked up and placed a kite on top of his casket, and then he had said a short prayer aloud, so everyone could hear it.114

“Paw”, he prayed, “this ain’t nuthin like building no kite, and it ain’t as easy as falling over backwards, neither. Why, it’s harder than…harder than transplantin’ any pecan tree I ever seen! In Jesus’ name, Amen.”115

Things were pretty dull and listless around the house for a while after that, but slowly Jesse and Thelma and Uncle Zeke and the kids came out of their “blue funk”, and family life returned to normal for everyone. For everyone that is, but momma. She stayed listless and blue and didn’t want to do any housework or cooking or anything, and she spent a lot of time in her rocker on the porch talking to someone that wasn’t there. A couple of years later, Jesse and Thelma came home from work, and found her there in that same chair on the porch. She was smiling, the first time they had seen a smile on her face since before her husband died, and she had cut a rose from the bush and was holding it to her chest. And she was gone…the undertaker said it had taken him a while to get that rose out of her hands, that even in death, she didn’t want to let it go.116

The memory of his Momma’s funeral was just a blur to Jesse; he either couldn’t or wouldn’t remember most of it. About the only thing he could remember was that he couldn’t bring himself to say any fancy prayers this time; the only thing he could do was stand over her grave and say “I love you, momma”, over and over and over again. 117

But, even that wasn’t his worst experience with death, no sir, it wasn’t. The worst was yet to come, and happened a few years later. Thelma had developed a persistent cough in the spring time, one that didn’t seem to want to go away. Jesse had suggested that she should go to the doctor, and she had replied, “Yeah, maybe I ought to do that”. She made an appointment with Dr. O’Brien, who examined her and made her an appointment with another doctor, a “specialist” was the way he referred to the other doctor, who arranged for a battery of tests for her, and so on. It seemed like it took forever to get all that accomplished, but when all was said and done, it had seemed then to have only taken a few minutes to Thelma. On that last day when all the tests were finished and all the results were in, and she at last had been given a diagnosis, she walked home as usual, stopping at the grocery on the way. When she got home, she called Jesse at work, telling him she had bought some steaks, and did he think he could come home early for a romantic dinner before the kids got out of school?118

“Why shore”, he had said, “I ain’t doin’ shit around here today no how”! When Jesse got there, the steaks were ready to be taken off the grill, the baked potato was piping hot, and the salad was all green and fresh and waiting for him. Jesse had kissed his wife hello, and then dug in to eat, looking for all the world like he had been stranded on some deserted island somewhere and hadn’t eaten for weeks. When they were through and Thelma had cleared the dishes, Jesse had stretched and yawned, saying he sure could use a little after-dinner “nap”.119

“Nap? Is that what they call it now?”, she had said, looking every bit like the girl Jesse had met in the Ben Franklin store long ago. 120

After they had finished, Jesse actually had started to drift off to sleep, when Thelma said, “Jesse, there’s something I have to tell you”.121

“What’s that, honey”?122

“Jesse, the doctors diagnosed me with cancer”.123

Jesse had sat bolt upright in bed then, banging his head on the headboard. “Cancer?”, he yelped. “How bad is it”?124

“It’s terminal, Jesse. It started in my lungs, but has spread all over my body. They give me less than six months, Jesse”.125

She didn’t even last that long, Jesse recalled. Within six weeks, she had walked on, and Jesse felt like he had transplanted a hundred pecan trees…126

“Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Sam’s voice had at last died out, and Jesse didn’t hear it any more. That rock looked close to his head now, real close; so close that he couldn’t believe he wasn’t touching it yet. But, Jesse knew it was only a matter of time; in his case, less than a second and his old head would be giving that ugly ole rock a work over. Jesse started thinking about death again, but this time it was his own he was considering. Jesse had always thought that death was something to be “a-scairt” of, but funny as it may seem, he wasn’t scared at all now. Not even as he began to feel the rock touching the side of his head, did he feel any fear. All he felt was peace, a wonderful, loving peace…127

“Why shoot”, Jesse thought in that last split-second of his life, “this here dyin’ stuff ain’t shit, I bet anybody could do it! Why, it’s as easy as…as easy as…falling over backward.128

There was pandemonium in the yard and on the porch as Jesse’s head hit the rock, making a sound sort of like when you dropped a watermelon on the pavement. Sam and her brothers were running toward Jesse to see what they could do; the younger kids were doing the opposite, running away because they had no idea what was going on. And Jesse’s uncle Zeke, who was in his nineties now, he just stayed in his chair on the porch, a little smile on his face.129

Jesse was dead now, and he knew he was, but some small part of his brain was still flickering, and he felt like he was dreaming. In his dream he was standing on the grassy slope of a small, gurgling stream, watching the water splash down over round, smooth rocks. Jesse could hear his momma calling him, and he looked up and saw her standing on the other side of the stream. This good weather must be treating her nice, thought Jesse; she looked younger and fresher than she had looked in years.130

“Jesse, come on over here with us, and be mindful of your steps on those moss covered rocks, I wouldn’t want you fallin’ down and bustin’ your head or nuthin’”, his momma said.131

Us? thought Jesse, but then he looked off to the side and saw his paw. His paw was standing down aways, underneath a young pecan tree, trying to put together a kite. He looked up at Jesse and smiled, and Jesse thought his paw was looking really well today also. Then Jesse heard another soft voice, and looked back to where his momma was standing, and there was Thelma, his beautiful Thelma, looking just like the girl he had met that day at the Ben Franklin.132

"Jesse, come on", she said, motioning with her hand. "It's time for you to be with us over here". 133

So, Jesse made his way slowly, carefully across the stream, joining his family on the other side. They clasped hands and stood in a circle, looking at each other, and...Jesse didn't dream anymore.134

See, I told you Jesse could tell you about the last few seconds of life. Turns out, it's not so hard after all. Oh, I know, I know...you may not believe it now, but you just wait. You just wait for yours to come around, and see if he's not right.135