Far along the avenue where the horizon cuts the clear sky from the dusty neon and the peopled, trafficked street, shimmers a blue and distinct promise of summers. The air is warm. There is no breeze.1
Two generations later there would not be a dufflebag seen anywhere on Main Street; just the pharmacy, bank, The Lux, a coffee shop and Tony's. You could buy magazines and a lotto strip in Tony's.2
The Town Square and its glistening pavement wink the way, as far as the eye can see, to the edge of town and an empty road. Seabags and the oaths and pledges packed inside have long been atticked away. And gone, gone, is the soldier boy who, more than sixty years ago, had come home on that hot summer afternoon.3
But now, as vague, faded yesterdays reflect in the changing afternoon light...a soldier, once again, alights from an arriving yellow bus.4
A contest entry
- Remembrance Day by Ahava.
450 points, ends November 25, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I thoroughly enjoyed this piece of writing! It is so vivid - I could almost see the scene unfold before my eyes. Well done!
Best wishes
Bernice DeLucchi -
Great job! XD I really liked this, it had lots of description, and I like how you created different scenes. I was a bit confused, but I think I understand now. I enjoyed reading this! XD
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Gary Alexander,
THis was very descriptive..only making it even more powerful! Very strong in each sentence and very well written! Great job!Keep writing and good luck! -
I loved the wording of this peice and the sensational feeling it gives. It was captivating in a sense.
b~
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This one's my new favorite. I like the open-ended aspect of it.
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This is good, but I'm afraid that I have to agree with ablelaz. This feels a little too open and unfinished to be a stand-alone short. It feels like it's leading into something. Or maybe it's just too deep for me!!
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Is there more to this? I like it.
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This one is beautiful.
ummm...don't mind but check grammer. Peopled?
he he he.
this is beautiful! -
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In answer to: PEOPLED
To populate = to people
Populated = peopled
Also...someone pointed out a spelling question: Atticked. My word. To place in an attic. (Can't spell it "atticed!") so...atticked!
Similarly: Trafficked
Thankx (lol!)
GA
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An interesting reflective drabble with the potential to be a lot more than a stand-alone piece. Thank you for your entry in a Quick Quickie.
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I really enjoyed this though I would like to know more of what happened. The story meant to be this way and maybe it would take away the meaning to add more to it.
Loved the descriptive language in it though.
. Rewarded 4
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I agree with what ablelas put, it feels incomplete.
However, i did enjoy reading it
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Abelaz will always say something like that! Lol!
GA
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incomplete
I, of couse, am not sure, but this seems to me to be incomplete.It in fact seems to be an introduction to a story, rather then the story it`s self.
Talk to you soon---ablelaz
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A wonderful vignette, full of warmth, feeling and light. Yet, there is a promise, an expectation, a hope of better times to come.
Truly a tiny piece, a diamond.
Lis.
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