I won't forget that you dumped me

Look at you...1

So beautiful.2

What did you do to look that way?3

You took it,4

you stole my boyfriend's heart away.5

But...6

In several years,7

would he like you like the years before?8

Love is good,9

but hate grows.10

You took him away.....11

I'll miss him forever...12

Where do you go out?13

Is it somewhere that you go, 14

does it mesmerize him?15

I don't belive he's gone...16

I've loved him far too long.17

Never again shall I see his stand-out face.18

His love, his sadness, 19

his kindness, and madness.20

Did I ever do something wrong?21

I thought of him every hour,22

on the hour.23

Is it really me?24

Or is it him?25

Does love lead to loss?26

Does trust lead to betryal?27

Why do some guys act so foolish?28

Does care end in agravation?29

My poor broken heart...30

I am plain-looking,31

or even kinda ugly.32

I'm not that skinny, and I get bad grades.33

Also, my hair is very short.34

So what if she's more pretty?35

Are looks all that matter?36

Who do you think is better,37

me or her?38

Well, you think it's HER.39

When do you see eachother?40

When I go outside,41

to hurt me?42

A shatterd heart can't break anymore.43

Lost love lives in the heart forever.44

If only you knew how I felt......45

What then?46

What if you know?47

Then...48

I'll forget you.....49

Someday...50

You dumped me,51

broke my heart, while thinking of my imperfections.52

I'll get over it...53

But I won't forget it.54

Author notes

This is a free verse poem. NOT a rhyming one.

A contest entry

Is the story OK, and/or original?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • CrimsonKitsune
    July 12

    Edit | Reply

    O.O ((blinks)) WOW

    That.... Was....BLOODY BRILLIANT!!! I could really feel the emotion pooring outta that one....It describes the feeling perfectly. I can really kinda picture a scene playing out here. You really brought the words to life. I loved it!! Keep up the great work! ^^


    • NinjaMegami
      July 14
      Edit | Reply
      OMG! I'm so glad! It took me a WHILE to write, and I didn't think it would have this much comments. Thank you!


  • stargirl
    July 6
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. that made me think


  • Miki Koishikawa
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    this was a great poem this is how I feel when I get dumped. then


  • Naive.
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    Great emotions in this. Seriously. =]

    Fav lines:

    "I thought of him every hour,
    on the hour."

    "His love, his sadness,
    his kindness, and madness."

    This was just really good. Better than any poetry I've attempted to write.

    Here are a few mistakes...

    Line 36: Should be "Are looks all that matter?"
    Line 43: Should be "A shattered heart can't break anymore."

    Amazing job. You should most some more poetry soon. =]

    -jj


    • NinjaMegami
      July 3
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much, You. Me. Now!!!!! I fixed the errors.

      xoxo
      your SW friend


  • LadyLionnir
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    I know EXACTLY how this feels and I hate it, every time it happens and leaves you examining every last inch of yourself. For something, anything, that may be wrong. I've come to love my flaws and myself because it makes me who I am. You did such a beautiful job writing it, as well, and it made me sad and angry and yet content. Thanks for the great read! If this is true, know you are not alone and at least you have the priceless tilent of composing art like this!!!! I'm rambling now...but it was just so...yeah.


    • NinjaMegami
      July 3
      Edit | Reply

      thx

      Thanks for the meaningfull comment! I tried hard on it. It's longer than most of my poems.


  • KalineReine
    July 2

    Edit | Reply

    Great job!

    Freeverse is sometimes better than poems that rhyme. I can read or write either, it doesn't matter. But I also hate how some people tink that all poems have to rhyme. I felt bad when I read this, b/c it was like I could feel, the pain you were going through. Very sad...


    • NinjaMegami
      July 2
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks!!!!!

      It's not really about me, though. I just.....know how it feels...Yeah. And I agree with you, everyone thinks poems are great if they rhyme, but free verse is good, too. Thanks for the comment!


      • KalineReine
        July 2
        Edit | Reply

        No prob! ^_^

        Even if it isn't about you, I can see how the person would feel, too. Lol. I really like this!


        • NinjaMegami
          July 2
          Edit | Reply

          I'm glad there's no problem

          I dumped a guy...then regretted it...I'm glad you liked my poem. It's probably my longest...


  • NinjaMegami
    July 2
    Edit | Reply

    < lol

    Thank you SO much! It took a while to write. Thanks for the comment!!!!!

    xoxo,
    you made me happy

1 - 16 of 16