She giggled as she ran through the mall, glancing behind her. He was still following, and though she was fast, she was wearing ballet flats, and he was in sneakers - she didn’t have a chance. Unless…1
Cikayda ducked down a hallway, smile growing as she found exactly what she was looking for. A month before Christmas, and the fake Santa Clause was already talking to children. She slipped into the line, three people back, breath coming slightly harder than usual. The elf on duty, a severe-looking woman in her thirties, frowned.2
“How old are you?”3
“I’ll be twelve in January!” she lied fluently, moving up a spot. At 4’11” and in her pink dress, she blended in with the children easily. One kid had to go to the bathroom, and another small child pitched a fit when he started towards the bearded legend, so in no time she was settled comfortably on Santa’s lap. 4
“Well, hello! What’s your name?!” he boomed. 5
She glanced over her shoulder. Devon was scanning the hallway, not thinking to look at the display. Perfect.6
“Cikayda,” she replied with a grin. Santa’s smile faltered.7
“Like the bug?” he asked, incredulous.8
Cikayda nodded.9
“Mmhmm.”10
A contest entry
- let me take a peek. by miles of smiles.
225 points, ended August 5, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
"Like the bug?" he asked, incredulous.
What a rude Santa Claus! I can just imagine that, and it's hilarious. This story was really cute, albeit completely pointless, but those are the stories I love the most, honestly.
I love her name. I have written a poem about cicadas, so I love them very much.
And major, major brownie points.
This story hooked the reader BECAUSE it was pointless. Because you gave little to no background information, you MADE the reader ask questions.
My mind as I was reading this:
Why is she running and giggling and the same time? If I was being chased, I'd be bawling my eyes out. Sneakers, huh? A young guy? Wait, is she a ballerina? Haha! Old elf! That's funny. So, she's not twelve. I'm twelve. I wonder how old she is. I bet the guy is playfully chasing her then. Or not. This writer's good at putting humor flawlessly in her writing. I should add this story to the finalist list. 4'11"? Whoa! That is short. I'm 5'5". HAHA! Rude Santa! I love the name Cikayda. Wait, the story's over...that was pointless...I LOVE IT!
One last thing: I know I haven't judged the contest yet (it's been, what, three weeks?) and I'm really sorry. Things got really busy and I'm just now getting on SW on a regular basis! Thanks for understanding, the contest will be judged by the 7th, no later.
-
-
Thanks for the gold, and I'm really glad you enjoyed the "story"! Since it was a fresh write for your contest, there wasn't a ton of backstory, but to answer your questions:
~ She isn't a ballerina, she's just dressed up.
~ She's 18.
~ He's chasing her playfully. He has a goal in mind, but he wouldn't hurt her if he caught her. -
-
Thanks- it really was a beautiful story!
-
-
-
Haha! This was basically pointless and cute!! I loved Cikayda's name, and I had to read it slowly the first time to make sure I got it right. Haha. I like the part with the elf-lady.
What a cute situation and you did a great job with imagery!
Great job and good luck in the contest! Don't stop writing!
.♥. Maureen .♥.
-
This is hilarious!
I grew even more interested when I saw Cikayda's name. It's unusual, and it's even spelled differently! I enjoy unique names!
LOL! *points at the mean elf-lady* THAT was an awesome part. If Cikayda's not really eleven, then how old is she??
I'm curious.... (Then again, if she's wearing ballet flats and getting chased by a boy, she could very well be my age. 
)
I laughed so hard when Santa went, "Like the bug?" That was funny as heck. You made me laugh a lot with this piece! What a wondrous way to start the day!
Thank you for sharing this!
Keep writing!
-
-
Thanks! Happy to serve, I'm glad you enjoyed it. She's 18.
-
-
LOL! That makes it even funnier!
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
