Best Friends Forever - Chapter Six

Let’s get this out of the way first. I loathe one night stands. Loathe ‘em. Scowl darkly at the TV when some poor sod gets that in some random sitcom or movie. Shake my head when one of my mates chuckles about a stand he had with some chick abroad. 1

Absorb that, and now let’s dwell on irony.2

Here I am, me, one-night-stand-hater (pathetic as that may sound), in a one night stand myself. A stand, may I add, which I incited. 3

Oh yes, Sherlock. This is not gonna go down even remotely well.4

-----5

The bed creaks slightly as Sera rolls over slightly - her eyes flicker open and blink against the sunlight streaming in from a slit in the curtains. The light falls like a golden slab over our bodies, covered with the rumpled blanket. 6

I lie there, with my arm thrown over my forehead, eyes wide open. I’ve been awake since five in the morning.7

“RJ?” asks Sera querulously. “What time is it?”8

“Seven,” I mutter. 9

She is quiet for a minute and then it’s like a light has been switched on inside her head. It clicks. 10

“Oh my god …” she says and props herself up on her elbow and looks at me. 11

I keep staring at the ceiling. I remember lying here and staring at this ceiling just a day or two ago. It was grey then, and it is grey now. Typical me.12

“RJ!” she shakes me. “We need to talk.”13

I sigh. “Yeah? You think I haven’t realised?”14

“Realised what?” 15

“This whole thing …” I sit up, brushing at my eyes. “What is this?” I motion vaguely with my hand in the general direction of the sheets.16

“I don’t know …”17

“You don’t know how you feel about me? Cause I know how I do about you.” I swing my legs over the side of the bed and reach for my shorts. I stare at Daffy Duck adorning my blue shorts and wonder if he had any problems in his sex-life.18

I shake my head and drag them on. I’ve sunk to thinking about ducks and their lives. 19

“Do you want breakfast?” I ask Sera, my tone indicating she shouldn’t bring up the other thing for now. She gets it.20

I walk into the shower and let the water wash over me. Cold once again.21

-----22

I don’t know what I was thinking. My head’s a jumbled mess of thoughts, feelings and memories and flashes of bright colours. 23

(No, actually, I haven’t done much LSD in my lifetime.)24

I mean, I know I love her. That dick Fordelyn Ivy League SOB is so not good for her. Dude, he thinks her favourite colour is green and she adores rom-coms. 25

How fucking stupid. I know for a fact that she loves purple and will happily sit with me and soak up a good old war movie or western. I know she adores John Wayne.26

I shake my head as I step out of the shower, dripping all over the floor. Water flies everywhere as I towel off furiously.27

This has to be the stupidest mistake of my life. 28

----29

I find her sitting on the veranda, dressed in her old clothes from the night before. 30

Pausing for a minute in the doorway, I look at her, and an ache fills my heart.31

Snap the fuck out of it. Been there and bloody done that.32

Sorry.33

Dickhead.34

Stupid voice.35

“Coffee?” I say. 36

She looks up and smiles. “Sure, thanks.”37

We sit on the veranda for over two whole minutes, saying nothing, me looking at my coffee and she looking at the street.38

FYI, this has never happened before. We always have had something to say to each other. Even if it’s just a random ‘Chicken crosses the road’ joke that I found on the Net and pretend it’s mine.39

“This is exactly it.” I burst out suddenly. 40

She looks at me, eyes a green flash in the morning sun. “What is it exactly?” She knows what I’m talking about, she just wants me to say it out loud. 41

“I mean, this! This whole awkward crap – I don’t know what to say, you don’t know what to say, you going to get married to some other guy you were perfectly happy with till I came along and screwed that up, oh well, done me! And, we used to be best friends, and now this shit is gonna get in the way of what we had all these years. Look at us now, right now, if you don’t think so. We hardly know what to say to each other after one goddamn night.”42

I pause and draw breath and gulp some coffee to hide my burning face.43

She says nothing and still looks at me. “I know that. I can’t say I ever thought of you in the way you thought of me –"44

“I didn’t know. I didn’t know until the very moment you said you were getting married. It’s one of those clichéd silly things that rightly belong in a bloody movie.” 45

“Well, I thought I was in love with Paul until …” Her voice grows slightly thicker.46

“Never mind.” I grip my coffee mug tightly. I think I might throw it, so I better be careful. “It was a mistake. I mean, I won’t ask you to screw this up for me.”47

“Maybe I might fall in love with you.” She doesn’t look at me as she says it. 48

“Or maybe you’d be so preoccupied with picking up the pieces from your relationship with Fordelyn that I’d feel like I was committing a crime.”49

“RJ –" She begins to say something, but her cell rings.50

Okay, whoever’s pulling the strings up on Cloud Nine, great timing. No, I mean that. Any more and I would have cried.51

She snapped her cell shut and got up. “Paul needs me at the wedding co-ordinator’s.” 52

She sounded uncertain.53

I quickly stood. “Look, don’t let this get in the way of your marriage and wedding. I know this is what you always wanted, right?” I lift her chin up and smile at her, and she responds. “So go do it! I know you love Paul. Don’t give a fig about me. Okay?”54

“But -?” 55

“Okay?” I hold her shoulder tight. 56

“Right.” She smiles back and hugs me. I hug her back and when she moves to kiss me, I subtly shift the kiss to my cheek and reciprocate in kind.57

She breaks away and holds me, and I smell her hair briefly – rosemary … she always did like that shampoo.58

“I’ll … I’ll see you, RJ.” She bends and grabs her pumps. 59

“Hmm,” I murmur noncommittally and watch her go.60

Her Mini pulls out of my driveway and streaks off down the street, turns left and disappears from sight.61

I stay at my fence, staring out onto the street, looking but not seeing.62