The Mind of a Suicidal Killer

To anyone whose been hurt by there "friends"1

Walking down the row of accusing faces was the worst feeling in the world. They knew I did it and they all hated me for it. But they don't know anything, how could they know the story as to why. But I have to tell the story to someone, that's why I'm telling it to you.2

As you all probably know I'm a junior at the local high school and the town's local nerd. It's not a title I'm proud of, but it's time for the total truth, no matter how much pain it causes me.3

It was the first day of school and They were at it again. Just thinking about it now makes my blood boil. Anyway, my locker was next to the biggest asshole in school, Adam. The head quarterback on the varsity football team, captain of the basketball team, and he lead the school's baseball team to states. 4

You must be wondering why I'm telling you all this "pointless" information, but you have to see my life before it all changed.5

By winter break I had been lock in the bathroom twice, shoved in the locker room, pushed into lockers, and tripped countless times. This is when my life started to turn "up."6

Adam had been going out with Jennifer, the hottest girl in school, since freshman year. After the HS basketball championship, Adam had a party and I some how got invited.7

So, by midnight everyone was completely wasted and Jennifer was fighting with Adam. Slowly she made her was to me, her soft brown hair glistening in the awkward lighting. I can just feel her light lips and her warm breath.8

She lead my to, of all places Adam's room. With my inability to say no, before I knew it we were making out. Well you can probably guess what happened next. 9

Yes my friends the nerd with the hottest girl in school. Shocking.10

Afterwards, Jennifer was lying next to me. Her head on my chest, her eyes half closed. But all good things must come to an end.11

The door opened and Adam walked in. Shock flash across his face, but quickly turning to fury. His eyes filled with fire as he saw Jennifer's clothes scattered across the floor. Jennifer slowly looked up at Adam and gave him a sheepish smile.12

 13

"What the fuck are you doing you little whore? What were you going to sleep with every fucking guy here?" Adam started screaming.14

 15

"What the hell are you talking about? I didn't fucking sleep with anyone!" Jennifer started to say.16

 17

"Then what the hell do you call this!" Adam said pointing to me.18

 19

Jennifer looked around with wide eyes. It started to dawn on her. She was going to bail me out if this; or so i thought.20

 21

Jennifer started crying. "I swear to god I passed out and then woke up here." She weeped.22

 23

"Are you fucking kidding me! You fucking little son of a bitch! What the hell were you thinking? Raping MY girlfriend! You little perv! Get the hell out you little piece of shit!" Adam roared.24

 25

And no this not why I'm being convicted, this is a reson leading up to it. I'll save you the grusume details and just say I tried to get out if there as soon as possible. Sadly is didn't work out too well.26

 27

After Febuary break my life was ten times more miserable. Everyone was convinced I raped Jennifer. Who would you believe a nerd or the most popular guy in school?28

 29

Well, that's when I decided to...fix this little problem. Now three months later I wish I hadn't.30

 31

I went to the local gun store to pick up two hand guns. I choose to end the lives on my tormentors rather then my own life.32

 33

So on June 16 I walked in to my school with the porpuse of ending others lives. As I said before, it's time for the truth no matter what.34

 35

In the end I killed Jennifer and Adam, not to metion countless others some inoccent, some guilty. The grand total 16. 36

 37

No where near how many I wanted to kill.38

So now I'm here with my fate in the hands of my peers.39

And so that is why in the middle of my trial I'm giving up and saying good bye. 40

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            ~Brad42