Thunder bellowed in the distance; growling, and rumbling the earth with its roar as Alex made his way through the bushes of Celia's front yard. He was soaked, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but her as she stood at her window, waiting.1
Alex waved, though he didn't need to get her attention anymore than he already had over the phone.2
"Dad wants to know how long you'll need me?" She called down to him. Alex smiled through the rain and looked down slowly. His breath gave out small puffs of mist that looked like clouds escaping and dying before his eyes. It was beautiful.3
"...The rest of my life." he said softly; almost inaudibly. They were words, he would never have the courage to say aloud.4
Alex turned his face up towards the rain; towards her again and smiled as small streams of water ran down his face. 5
Celias hands gripped the edge of her window, just a bit tighter.6
It felt as if she had heard him perfectly clearly and a smile of her own spread across her lips. "I'll be right there..." she said before vanishing back inside the window.7
A contest entry
- let me take a peek. by miles of smiles.
225 points, ended August 5, 2008, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you thought...of this.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Stunning! Beautiful! Amazing imagery, I could see it all in my mind, and it was like a movie. Alex seems like the boy we all dream about and the reason that we make all those away messages and icons on IM, and Celia seemed like a beautiful, dreamy girl. You had a couple of grammar errors, but nothing that I'm going to hold against you.
And I know that this has nothing to do with your story, but I lovvvved the background/font combination. Sorry, random, I know.
One last thing: I know I haven't judged the contest yet (it's been, what, three weeks?) and I'm really sorry. Things got really busy and I'm just now getting on SW on a regular basis! Thanks for understanding, the contest will be judged by the 7th, no later.
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Aww!! This is so cute! Emotions were great and I loved how you got write (haha, get it? Write? Right? Okay I'll stop) to the point. It was short and sweet and adorable.
Great job and keep writing!
.♥. Maureen .♥.
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Very nice!
Seems that many of us had love on the mind when writing for this one
Nice !!!
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This is so beautiful and cute. I love it! Its so romantic.
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... :0 I agree with Radiance...this is beautiful!
dangg!
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OMG...!
So beautiful! This is so amazing, and incredibly romantic. This was such a pleasure to read.
I love the rain. I think that is one of the reasons that this piece struck me so. Gosh, I just love this.
Sorry for all the gushing. Usually I have some kind of criticism to make, but this piece is too gorgeous, and I'm afraid that all I can do is go on and on about how great it is.
Keep writing! I truly love this piece!
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