Friday Night

Sleep was impossible, death was begged for, and all things good in the world had gone black. This was how I spent my Friday nights. Friday night, the end of the week, the best time to go out with your friends, the time of your life, or that's what they say. I, personally, hate Friday nights. Every Friday night I sit in my bedroom and think about him. I didn't used to be like this, I used to cry every day, and every night. Kyle, his name was Kyle, and I loved him, just as he loved me. We were the perfect couple, everyone said so. "Oh, Carlie, you Kyle look so perfect together," they'd croon. That Friday night though, he was upset, again. He had become more and more upset and depressed with each passing day for almost three weeks. I kept asking him what was wrong.
"It's nothing," he would say, giving me a reassuring squeeze on my shoulder.
"Are you sure," I would ask, "you look . . . unhappy; is it your dad again?"
His father was an alcoholic and when he was drunk, he usually became violent. First towards Kyle's mother, then towards Kyle. I had only seen him like this once and I didn't even really see it, I just heard the screams.
I was in Kyle's room, helping him fill out his college applications when we heard a car pull up in the driveway. Kyle immediately got up and opened the window.
"You need to leave now," he said, his tone so serious I almost couldn't move.
He walked quickly to me on the bed and grabbed my hand and led me to the fire escape outside his window.
"Go, I'll see you at school tomorrow," he said, but something in his voice told me that there was a chance he wouldn't be.
"Come with me," I said, the front door to his apartment slammed.
"Kyle, who the fuck is with you!? Is it that damn whore you call a girlfriend!? I'm gonna fuckin' kick your ass!"
I climbed down the fire escape.
"Where the hell is she!?"
"She's not here, Dad!"
"Don't you lie to me!"
I heard what I thought was a fist swing through the air and hit something with a dull thud. A small gasp. Kyle's.
"Where the hell is she!"
"She just left, Dad"
"Well then, I guess I'll just have to give you double tonight." The pleasure in his voice was how I imagined a hungry lion would sound before devouring it's prey. It took everything I had not to climb back up and help Kyle. And everything I had wasn't enough. I raced back up the ladder as quietly as I could. There was a bat next to Kyle's window, I came up under the window ledge and peered into a scene that I had only seen in movies.
Kyle was kneeling on the floor in the opposite corner of the room facing the window clutching his stomach. His father stood over him, as if waiting for him to try to get up so he could hit him back down again.
"Get your lazy ass up!" His father screamed.
Kyle looked up, his messy, dirty blond hair in his face, his skin sticking to his hair, his bright gray eyes full of terror as he saw me through the window. His eyes locked on me for maybe a second on their way up to meet his fathers. I slowly got up and grabbed the bat. It was and old wooden one, I could probably only knock him out. I climbed through the window and crept towards him. I brought the bat back and swung it hard, letting only the tip of it hit his head, the rest landing on his back. He fell forward as Kyle scrambled out of his way.
"I thought I told you to leave," he said coldly.
"And I told you to come with me," I replied.
"Come on, you're staying at my house tonight," I said taking his arm. He resisted.
"I can't leave," he said quietly.
"Please Kyle. Don't do this," I pleaded, he was going to stay.
"What would your parents say? Where would I live, I can't let you take responsibility for my problems..."
"Hey, if you have a problem then I have a problem. You're my boyfriend and my best friend, and I can't leave you knowing how violent your father can be. If you stay, I stay," I said, looking him in the eye.
I tugged on his arm again, this time he came, not willingly, but he did. We went out his window to the fire escape down to my car. I got in the drivers seat, him next to me in the passenger's seat. I fired up the engine as quickly as I could. I couldn't give him a chance to change his mind.
I drove like a maniac until we reached my house. I went in through the front door, making sure Kyle was behind me. We went straight to my room. My parents were asleep, not that they really cared if I had Kyle over, they just didn't want to know. They knew Kyle was about the best boyfriend I could have asked for and they knew that he would never do anything to hurt me, which right now is what was making my night so difficult.
We entered my room calmly; I shut the door, then turned to him to examine the damage his father had inflicted on him. Kyle was sitting on my bed, staring at me. I walked over to him and ran my hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face. I felt a large lump on the side of his head.
"You need ice," I said quietly.
"It's fine, I've never needed ice before," he said looking away from me.
"You've never had me there before," I said, "now take off your shirt please."
"Um, I'm not sure this is the right time for that..." he started to say, a smirk making its way across his face.
"Shut up, you know what I meant!" I said, trying to suppress a giggle.
He took off his shirt, exposing a beautifully crafted six pack and chest. The only flaw was a light purple splotch already developing in the center of his six pack. I ran my fingers over the bruise on his stomach, trailing them around to his lower back. His hands ran up to my shoulders to my neck. I leaned in to him, I was suddenly freezing and boiling at the same time. His lips brushed mine.
"You need sleep," he whispered.
"So do you."
"I shouldn't stay here."
I pulled him closer.
"You're not leaving," I said firmly.
"I shouldn't sleep in your bed at least."
"It's my bed, I decide who sleeps in it."
"Again..."
"Shut up, we're not doing that, and you know what I mean."
He pushed me away from him.
"You should change into something more comfortable," he said, looking away from me again.
"Fine, but if you're gone when I get back I'll kill you myself," I said smiling. I kissed his cheek before grabbing my pajamas and going into the bathroom that connected to my room. I changed quickly into my shorts and over sized tee shirt. I walked back into my room. Kyle was standing at my desk, looking blankly out the window.
"What is it?"
"Nothing," he said as if snapping out of a trance, "just looking at the stars."
I joined him, holding his arm. I leaned against him, he put his arm over my shoulder and pulled me in closer to him.
"Come on, we should sleep," he said, kissing my forehead.
I pulled away from him to turn the lights off. The place where he had been next to me suddenly cold. I joined him on my bed. I lay down next to him, immediately enveloped in his arms. I sank as far into him as I could, shutting my eyes against the horrors of the night that had just passed. His lips touched my neck, moving slowly up to my jaw bone, then my cheek. I turned my head, our lips finding each other quickly. They worked together, melding as if dancing to some beautiful, unnamed rhythm. We finally pulled away, I smiled at him. Finally, I could relax. He wasn't leaving, not tonight.
I woke up the next morning with my head resting on Kyle's chest, his hand flowing up and down my back. He seemed to be doing it absentmindedly, he was looking into space again. I curled closer to him, trying to find the words to ask him what was wrong. I heard a car pull into the driveway, Kyle stiffened. He pushed me off of him and got off the bed making his way to the door. I immediately got out of the bed and walked to him. A knock on the door thundered through the house. My parents answered at the same time.
"Oh, hello Mr. Shey," my mother said.
"Hello Mrs. Stone, have you, by any chance, seen Kyle? He ran off last night and I haven't seen him since." He said casually. Kyle and I looked at each other.
"Hide in my closet, he won't find you there," I said to him.
"No, I can't say that I have seen Kyle. Carlie was helping him with his applications last night, we went to sleep before she got in." My mother said.
"Well, do you mind if I ask Carlie then?" He asked as I covered Kyle in a pile of clothes on my floor and shut the door.
"She's sleeping," my dad said.
"Really, at this time in the morning, have you seen her today?" he asked.
"No, we saw her car in the driveway so we knew she was home..." my father said.
"I would just hate to think that Kyle was here with her and she ended up pregnant. I just don't want to take any chances if they've..."
"That's enough,Mr. Shey. Kyle is not here and my daughter is not going to become pregnant anytime soon. So if you wouldn't mind leaving..."
"Would you mind if I asked her myself? After all, she is standing right up there," he said with a smirk.
"Ask me what?" I said playing dumb.
"Do you know where Kyle is?"
"No, I haven't seen him since last night. Why? Where is he?" I asked, trying to sound innocent.
"You see? She doesn't know any more than we do. Try asking one of his friends." My father said coldly, his voice threatening to kill if Kyle's father pressed it any further.
"Well, please let me know if you get any information on his whereabouts," he said as if it were nothing. Then he walked back out the door, opened his car door, got in, and drove away. We watched his car merge into the street and waited a good two minutes before speaking.
"Carlie, what's going on?" my mother asked.
"Where's Kyle? You were lying to Mr. Shey! Why?" My dad asked.
"Guys relax, it's fine. Kyle's just having a... ummm... rough time at home," I said. I wasn't sure how much Kyle would want people to know.
"What do you mean 'rough time?'" my father pried.
"His dad is... unwell," I said.
"And by unwell you mean..."
"Alcoholism," I said, half waiting to hear Kyle jump from the window, half waiting for my parents to call me a liar.
They just stood there, a shocked look ran through their faces.
"How do you know..."
"I've seen it, and heard it."
"You mean..."
"Last night, yes," I said.
"What happened?" my mother asked, a concerned look on her face.
"I'm not sure, all I know is that he was beating Kyle, I saw Kyle on the floor, grabbed the bat near his window and knocked his dad out, then dragged Kyle here," I said. Crap, I haven't told them he's here yet.
"He's here!?" My father exclaimed.
"Dad, relax, he's in my room. Let me see him first," I said.
I sprinted upstairs and tripped over Kyle who was crouched near the top of the stairs.
"Sorry!" I said apologetically.
"No, no, my fault," he said, offering his hand to me. I took it, Kyle pulling me up effortlessly. "I shouldn't have been eavesdropping," he said.
"It's fine," I said, "so, um, is what I said ok?" I asked.
"About what?" he asked.
"Your dad," I said, "and you, and the other night," I finished, trying to keep those images buried.
"Oh, yeah, they would have found out eventually right," he said, trying to force a smile out.
"I'm sorry," I said rubbing his arm.
"It's not your fault. I should probably thank you for getting me out of there last night. I just, I was afraid that..."
"Don't, it's fine. I know you meant well by it. I just couldn't leave you," I said hugging him tightly. I didn't want to let go of him.
"Should we go to your parents?" he whispered.
"I guess," I said sullenly.
"I don't think I can go down stairs with you around my neck."
"True..." I said, detaching myself from him.
We went down the stairs, Kyle leading me.
"So, Kyle, good to see you," my mom said trying to sound natural.
"Is what Carlie said true? About last night I mean," my dad said. He was never one to beat around the bush.
"Yes sir," Kyle said.
"Where did he hit you," my dad asked, his voice rough.
"In my stomach and in the head," he said.
"But he only stopped there last night because I knocked him out," I added.
"I see," my dad said, "Your mother and I will have to talk about how to handle this in private," he said decidedly.
"Ok," I said hopefully, "Lets go upstairs," I said to Kyle.
We walked calmly up the stairs to my room again.
"It's gonna be okay," I said, more trying to reassure myself than Kyle.
"I know," he said pulling me into a comforting hug. I nestled myself into his chest. I was trying to keep from shaking. I was so nervous. What if they didn't let him stay? What if he had to go back home? I couldn't let them do that. And how could we go to school? Kyle needs to go to college, we both do. We had to get as far away from here as possible, there were to many bad memories here for him, and therefore me, too. I started shaking, trying to keep down the tears that were coming up. I couldn't help it, I was terrified that Kyle's father would come and find him and kill him or something like that. What if he killed me in front of Kyle or something like that, just to torture him. I knew my imagination was getting away from me, but I was still scared.
I tried to put these thoughts out of my mind and focus on Kyle. He started humming to me, Iris, one of my favorite songs. I finally choked down my tears and relaxed my body against his.
"Carlie, Kyle, could you come down here please!" my mom shouted up to us.
I looked up at him, releasing my arms from around his neck. He looked down at me, our eyes fixed on each other for only a second, but it was enough for us to tell each other that no matter what, Kyle was staying. We rushed down the stairs and into the living room. Mom and Dad were sitting on the couch.
"Kyle, how old are you?" my mother asked calmly.
"I'll be 18 in 3 days," he said.
"Ok, so legally, Kyle cannot stay with us without parental consent until he's 18, however, if Kyle can stay hidden for 3 days then "show up" at our house on or after his 18th birthday then he can live here."
"Really! He can stay!" I said excitedly.
"Yes, but he needs to stay out of sight, so no school, no going near windows, no leaving the house, basically, you're under house arrest," my mom said, my dad nodding in agreement.
"Is that okay with you?" I asked Kyle.
"...I...I need time to think about this," he said.
I looked at him, shock and confusion swept across my face.
"Um, Kyle, c-can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked, trying not to sound too much like one of those crazy movie girlfriends. He nodded and I led him down the stairs into our basement.
"What do you mean you need to think about it, what do you need to think about, and you'd better have a selfish reason! I'm sick of this 'I don't want you to get hurt' stuff. If I wasn't prepared for trouble I would have dumped you as soon as I knew about your father!" I said, my chest heaving from trying to keep from shouting at him.
"Carlie, I want you to relax for minute, okay? Take a deep breath," he said calmly. "I don't want you or your family to have to try to protect me from my father. He's my responsibility. My problem to deal with, and if I go down I will not drag you down with me. And if you want a selfish reason then how's this, I don't want to live here, it smells weird and I don't like it," he said, immediately trying to come up with a better reason.
"Not good enough. And at this point I have decided that you are insane and not capable of making your own decisions right now. Therefor, you're staying here," I said, half kidding half not.
"Carlie, I'm breaking up with you," he said, "I don't love you anymore, I stopped loving you a while ago and have been waiting to find the right time to tell you."
"You still need a place to stay so you're staying here," I said.
"Do I even get a say in it?" he asked.
"Not right now, and it's not because I'm trying to be one of those over-controlling girlfriends but because I don't think I could go one second without you. That, and you balled your hands in a fist with your fingers over your thumbs, that's how I tell, you know, that you're lying," I said.
He sighed, looking at the floor. "You win this battle," he said, "but I'll get you next time."
"So you'll stay!" I said.
"Tonight, yes, but don't be surprised if I'm gone in the morning," he said.
"Is that a threat?" I asked.
"No, I think it's closer to a promise."
Now it was my turn to give in. "Just promise that you'll be back in one piece for your 18th birthday," I said, nearly crying at this point.
"I will."
We went back up the stairs to face my parents.
"So, are you staying Kyle?" my mom asked anxiously.
"Yes," he said decidedly, though he hadn't specified how long he was staying.
"Oh good!" my mom said, nearly jumping up and down as she said it.
"So, what's for dinner?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
~~~
I changed into my pajamas and grabbed some money off my dresser, "here," I said, shoving it into Kyle's hands, "just in case."
"Carlie, I don't need any money," he said, trying to comfort me.
"So what are you going to eat? How are you going to get food? Are you going to steal it? Get the cops after you, too?"
"Shh, shh, relax, okay Carlie? Relax okay? Everything is going to be fine, I'm going to leave sometime tonight, I'll live in the woods near the abandon mansion for a few days, then be back to stay, okay?" he said quickly in hopes of keeping me from crying. "And don't look for me, my dad will be watching your every move for the next few days. He'll follow you, try to find out where I am; don't tell him anything, nothing that could give away where I am. Just tell him you still haven't seen me and that I might have gone to checkout University of Arizona or some place that I applied to," he said, his voice a little more serious. He pulled me into a hug, I let him, but didn't hug him back, I was to overwhelmed with everything that was going on, and was still annoyed that he wasn't staying, and worried that I might give something away. I pulled away from him, "You should get some sleep."
"So should you, you have school tomorrow," he said.
I turned off the lights and got into bed, this time Kyle had waited for me to go first since he was going to be leaving...
I felt him get into the bed, his arms wrapped tightly around me, every part of me felt safe, almost happy. I heard something rustle in the corner of my room. I was sure it was nothing and immediately felt myself relax against Kyle. I felt his lips press against my cheek, turning my head just in time to see a large dark figure approach the bed. I rolled myself on top of him. I felt a sharp pain in my right shoulder. I squealed, my entire body tensed, I felt Kyle move me to the other side of him and got out of the bed. My shoulder was burning, the pain was blurring my vision. I struggled to work through it, trying to push through it. I heard a thud, like a body hitting the floor, I prayed it was Kyle's dad, after all, who else would sneak into my room and try to stab Kyle.
"Carlie, Carlie are you okay? Come on, sweetie, stay with me," he said. "Mr. and Mrs. Stone help!"
"What, what!" I heard them say.
"What happened here!" I heard my dad say.
"My dad tried to stab me, she covered me to keep the knife from stabbing me. Then I knocked him out," he said.
"I'll call 911," my mom said.
"Okay, and no one touch the knife, we don't want any fingerprints on it other than my dads."
"Okay, the ambulance is on its way."
"Carlie," I heard Kyle's voice dimly, "Carlie are you awake? Carlie come on talk to me."
"Auhn," I groaned.
"Carlie, come on now, Carlie, squeeze my hand if you can hear me."
I felt his hand grab mine, I tried to wrap my hand around his, I'm not sure that I actually managed to put any pressure on it but I think I did. I suddenly realized that my back was soaked with some hot liquid, I didn't even want to remember what it was. I heard heavy footsteps come up the stairs, I assumed it was the paramedics.
"Carlie, listen to me, ok, these men are going to take the knife out ok," Kyle said, "they need you to relax."
I relaxed as much as I could. I felt something in my back move and cut through more of my skin. The knife was yanked quickly out of my back. I felt them lift me out of the bed and into a stretcher.
"Carlie, Carlie honey, can you hear me," my mom said, "Carlie, only one person is allowed in the ambulance with you, do you want me with you or your father or Kyle?" my mom asked.
"Kyle," I whispered.
"Carlie, it's fine I'm right here, don't worry I'm staying here with you."
I tried to reach out for his hand, trying to hold on to reality. I felt a hand come out to meet mine, it was Kyle's. I finally relaxed, the last thing I felt was a pinch in my right arm.
~~~
I woke up the next morning around noon according to my clock in the hospital room they had put me in. I looked around, I was in a big room with a glass door looking into a busy hallway, there were three chairs in my room, none of them occupied. 'Where is everyone?' I wondered. There was a button for room service on my bed, I clicked it.
"Yes, how may I help you?" a feminine voice asked.
I clicked the button and held it down this time, "Um, could I get some water?" I asked, not sure if she could even hear me.
"Why certainly, it's on its way," the voice said, "Anything else?"
"If you could tell me where my parents and boyfriend are that would be great," I said sarcastically.
"The police are still asking them for details about last night," she said, "Would you like me to see if they could come down?"
"Yes please," I said.
Two minutes later my parents were at my side, along with a police officer, and I was wrapped in hug and kisses and how-are-you-feeling's.
"Where's Kyle?" I asked, "And where's his dad?"
"Sweet, this police officer needs to ask you a few questions, ok," my mom said.
"Ok, but where's Kyle?"
"Don't worry honey, you'll see him soon."
"Carlie, can you tell me exactly what you remember from last night?" the officer cut in.
"Yes," I said.
There was an awkward pause, "Will you tell me?" he asked.
"Yes, but first tell me where Kyle is."
"He's safe."
"That still doesn't tell me where he is."
"When you answer one of my questions fully I'll answer yours," he said.
"Sir, you have so far asked me two yes-or-no question and I have answered them both yes, you did not ask me to explain them, so now it is your turn to answer my question, and the fact that you are avoiding answering makes me think that something is wrong, like maybe he's dead or something," I said.
"He's down the hall in the interrogation room," he said, now annoyed, "now what happened last night, and tell me in as much detail as you can."
I told them everything from the time I got into the bed to the time Kyle knocked his father out.
"I see, and that was all true, correct," the officer said skeptically.
"Yes, now, if you don't mind I would like to see my boyfriend," I said, trying to get up.
"Not so fast, I still have a few more questions for you," he said.
"Now, has Kyle ever hurt you in any way?"
"No"
"He's never been harsh or overbearing?"
"No, Kyle has never done anything to hurt me in any way, shape, or form, now can I see him?"
"No, now, tell me about your relationship?" he said, I was about to rip his head off.
"That is private information," I said, trying to put as much venom in my voice as possible, "Now, take me to see Kyle, please, I will not answer any more of you rediculous questions," I was beyond pissed by now. I took the IV out of my arm and got out of the bed carefully, making sure I didn't put any pressure on my right arm. I tested my balance and took a few cautious steps before going towards the door.
"Sweetie you need to rest," my mom said.
"Not until I see Kyle, now either send him here or I'm going to find him," I said.
"Look Carlie, why don't you sit down for a moment and give your nerves a chance to calm down," the officer said, grabbing my arm.
I slapped it away, "Don't. Touch. Me." I said. He backed off quietly. I opened the door and walked to the desk across the hall.
"Excuse me, where is the interrogation room?" I asked.
"Down the hall, last door on your left before you turn the corner," she said.
"Thank you," I said.
I nearly ran down the hall, just the thought of seeing Kyle made me forget any pain that I was feeling, any confusion. I stopped at the door, "Interrogation" read the label. The door opened just as I got there.
"Hey, is Kyle in there, Kyle Shey?" I asked excitedly.
"Yes, and nobody's allowed in," the man said.
Now I was pissed, and I don't just mean the PMS type pissed, I mean the I-will-literally-rip-you-limb-from-limb type pissed.
"Look, I just got out of my room, I haven't seen my boyfriend all day, I haven't had anything to eat all day, and I was just interrogated by a police officer who basically asked me 'Is your boyfriend abusive.' So if I were you, I'd let me through."
"Sorry miss, but my orders, oouf," the man fell to the ground, hands covering the spot where I had just kicked him. I strut straight past him, not even glancing down at him. I found myself in a black room with one wall looking in on a room where an officer, back turned to me, was talking to a solom faced Kyle. My eyes stopped on Kyle, my heart nearly thumped out of my chest. He look so stressed, so worn out. He was rubbing his face in his hand and running his hands through his hair.
"Look, I'm telling you, my father was trying to stab me but Carlie rolled on top of me to protect me," Kyle said to the officer.
"Then how do you explain your finger prints on the knife?"
"Like I said, it's probably because I used it once at home."
They thought Kyle was the one that stabbed me! Now it was clear what the bone-heads called police officers thought happened. They thought Kyle was abusing me and that he had stabbed me, not his father. I had to get in there. My eyes searched for a way in, stopping on a door on the far right. I ran to it and shoved it open, nearly falling onto the floor.
"Carlie?" Kyle asked.
"Kyle."
"Carlie, you shouldn't be out of bed yet," he said rushing to my side.
"I had to see you," I said, "I missed you."
He pulled me into a hug, "I missed you too."
"Why are they questioning us?"
"I don't know, I think that they think I did that to you."
"But you didn't your father di-"
"I know, but my fingerprints are on the knife as well as his."
"Hey, kids, look, you're not allowed to see each other until our investigation is over, we don't want your stories to be compromised," the officer said.
"Sir you have asked me the same questions atleast 4 times each and every time I have answered you with the same answers every time. You can try investigating my father, but seeing as you have no new questions for us, we are leaving," Kyle said.
Kyle and I walked out, Kyle's arm around my shoulder.
"If you two walk out of here we will be forced to arrest you both," the officer said.
We froze. Kyle tensed, he was thinking. Suddenly Kyle turned to the officer.
"Sir, I've been in there for approximately twelve hours and you still don't have enough evidence to keep me here, isn't there a rule saying that without ample evidence you cannot keep me here for more than ten-twelve hours?" Kyle said to the police officer, a little to happily. He watched all of the crime shows like CSI (Las Vegas) and NCIS. Now I was turned to the man just in time to see the shocked look on his face.
Finally, he took defeat, "Fine, but don't take off anywhere, we're still not done with the two of you," he said threateningly.
Finally, we were free, free to go back to my room at least, I was suddenly exhausted. As we walked back to the room I noticed a dull throb on my right shoulder and that my stomach was so hungry it sounded like it could eat itself. As we walked through the doors I was once again greeted by my parents and by this time the other officer had left.
"Oh sweetie, we were so worried about you," my mom crooned.
Kyle helped me into the bed. As soon as I was settled I noticed my parents staring at Kyle. They seemed, almost afraid of him, like he was going to attack them or something.
"What, why are you staring at him like that?" I asked.
"It's nothing," my dad said.
"No, it's not, that's all you people ever tell and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of all of this bull shit. Now tell me what's going on or leave!"
"Um, Kyle could you, er,"
"Yeah, I'll be outside the door,"he said. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving.
"Ok, what is it, what's nothing?" I asked.
"Sweetie, the police said that they believe that Kyle has been abusing you, they believe that he is the one that stabbed you. The doctors say so as well. They said that the angle at which the knife was in your should was the same as if kyle had done it himself."
"Your wrong," I said flatly, "and even if you were right, then how do you explain Kyle's dad being in my room?"
"He was there to try to protect you, he thought that Kyle was hurting you and wanted to know for himself. Sweetie, they told us that you would deny that Kyle was hurting you and that would do everything to convince us and yourself that he wasn't hurting you."
"Leave. Now."
"Sweetie, please, listen-"
"I did, and you're wrong. Dead wrong. And the fact that you are so easily swayed by someone with a piece of paper hanging their office, more than by anything you've heard from Kyle, or from me make me sick. Now leave."
They looked down in defeat and shame as they walked through the door. As they left Kyle entered.
"Are you going to through me out to?" asked with a smirk plastered on his face.
"Not unless you piss me off to," I said, a smile growing across my face.
"Ooh, sounds like someone's hungry," he said, pressing one of the buttons on my bed.
"Starving."
A few minutes later and empty tray lay next to my bed that once held a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a cup of orange juice, a small salad, and a pudding cup.
"Wow, you really were hungry," he said, leaning over to kiss my forehead.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to ask if you wanted anything," I said slightly apologetically.
"It's fine, they gave me some breakfast in the room down the hall," he said.
"Yeah, but that was around 7 this morning right?" I said.
"No, closer to 8."
"Too bad," I said, pressing the button on the side of the bed.
"Hi, can I get a lunch please?" I asked.
"Um, ma'am, didn't you already get a lunch?" the receiver asked.
"Yes, but my boyfriend didn't get a lunch and I'm still hungry," I said.
"Ok, we'll bring you another tray right away."
And they did, and though Kyle tried to eat slowly, I could see that he was starving.
Once Kyle had finished eating, we both sat back, him in the chair against the wall, me in the bed, listening to the people walk by the door. I looked over at him, memorizing his face until he looked back at me. Our eyes locked on each other in an impossible to break gaze.
"So, what now?" he asked our eyes still locked.
"Well..." I said hesitantly, almost embarrassed to look at him and make my request at the same time.
"Well what?"
"I kinda' wanna' make out," I said uncomfortably.
He got up and crossed the room, holding his hand to my cheek and lifting my lips to meet his. His arms wrapped gently around me, still keeping me safe. He pressed his lips into mine as he got on top of me in the bed. I wrapped my left arm around his neck. He and I kissed for as long as we could before I had to come up for air.
"Are you satisfied?" he asked, as if he were asking how a meal was.
"Almost," replied before pulling him back into me. I felt every inch of me tingle with pleasure and aliveness. I never wanted to leave this cloud where our lips were glued together and moving as one. I couldn't stand to come up for air, but I knew I had to. Our lips broke and I fell abruptly off of my cloud. He held me close, neither of us wanted to let go. Kyle rolled to the side of the bed and brushed the hair away from my face. I kept my face buried in his chest, holding him close.
There was a knock on the Plexiglas door and a soft shjjjj of the door slideing.
"Oh, umm, er," the confused nurse said, jolting me out of my euphoric cloud ten state.
Kyle pushed me up and away, I sighed and pushed myself up to face her.
"Um, I'm supposed to check your stitches and make sure there are no infections," she said, slightly embarrassed. Obviously she had never come across this situation before.
"Ok," I said, shrugging my hospital gown off my right shoulder, exposing the stitches. Apparently they were slightly blood and oozing, and kind of stood out, but that's just what Kyle said. She put some cool ointment on it and cleaned it.
"Ok,looks like you're all set, but we would like to keep you here overnight just to make sure nothing happens," she said before walking out.
"You should probably get some rest, it'll heal faster," Kyle said.
"Ugh, I don't think I can stay in this room to much longer before I go crazy," I said. "Lets get out of here."
"Carlie, you're not allowed to leave the hospital," Kyle said.
"I know. Lets just walk around here?" I suggested.
"Fine, one round, then do you promise to try to sleep?" he asked.
"Ok, but I can't promise I'll actually sleep." I got out of the bed, my knees locked and I nearly collapsed. Kyle caught me and pulled me up.
"Yeah, you defiantly have enough energy to walk around the hospital," he said sarcastically.
"Shut up, I was just a little over energetic getting out of bed, I got down to the room without any problem," I said defiantly.
We walked out the door and turned right down a hallway. Kyle put his arm around me, hooking it under my left arm.
"Kyle I'm fine," I said, standing a little straighter.
"I know, I just don't want you to trip er anything," he said with a smile.
"Are you calling me a klutz?" I asked, "er actually, never mind," I said, knowing it was true.
He pulled me a little closer as we rounded the second corner. I walked instep with him, barely paying attention to my surroundings. we came around the third corner as a door half way up the hallway opened. A man exited, surrounded by three cops. The man, I realized, was Mr. Shey. I froze, Kyle jolted to a halt. Mr. Shey turned slightly in our direction, then turned to face us fully. He started shaking.
"I'm gonna' kill you!" he shouted down the hall as he fought and kicked the officers until his hands were free, then knocked two of their heads together and let them fall to the ground, the third ran for help. He barreled down the hall at us. Kyle pushed me away.
"Run Carlie run!" he said.
I started stumbling down the hall but I couldn't leave him, not again. I watched his dad slam him into a wall and grab his neck. Help wasn't going to get there in time. I ran slash stumbled towards them, clawing at his arm and kicking him as hard as I could. He shoved Kyle to the ground and grabbed me instead. He slammed me against the floor with an iron grip on my neck. I clawed at his arms, gouging into him arm as hard as I could, but to no avail. He was on top of me, keeping me from kicking him. My vision began to blur, I tried to force it away. I heard Kyle wheezing and coughing on the floor. I knew he couldn't help right now, and I didn't expect him to, I got myself into this. I felt the pressure on my throat loosen. Suddenly he went limp, falling on top of me. I was gasping for breath but his body was crushing my rib cage. I felt the body being pushed off of me.
I looked up at Kyle, looking for a glimpse of his bright gray eyes. He looked down at me.
"Why couldn't you have just run?" he asked, exasperated.
"What, and let you have all the fun?" I joked through gasps.
He forced a smile.
I locked on his eyes, hiding myself in them, their every detail. The bright gray with lines of deep sky blue and bright green with flecks of gold.
"What happened?" I asked as he pulled me in his arms.
"A nurse injected him with some knockout drug, she thinks it'll be lose its effect in about half an hour," he said.
"Then what?"
"Downtown."
"Sir, Ma'am, I really don't think you should be here," I heard a voice say to someone down the hall, breaking my trance.
"She is our daughter! We have a right to see her!" a shrill voice replied.
"Ma'am, please, just give her some time to relax."
"It was that damn boyfriend of hers wasn't it! I knew it!" I heard a deeper voice say.
"Actually, that boyfriend of hers just saved her life, now I'd suggest you go find some where to calm down before your daughter disowns you. Thank you," the nurse said to them.
I looked back at Kyle, his eyes were on my parents and the nurse down the hall. I knew he felt bad about what had happened, he was blaming himself. I wanted to comfort him, tell him it wasn't his fault, that there was nothing anyone could do. If nothing else it would prove our original story about the stabbing. But it wouldn't help to change his mind, to stop him from blaming himself, he was to stubborn.
"Kyle," I said worriedly, "Kyle, are you ok?"
"Fine," he said, "your shoulder's bleeding again, you should get back your room."
"My shoulder is fine, it's stitched together and will clot soon, and your not fine, you're blaming yourself again, aren't you?" I said accusingly, immediately regretting it. I needed to be less accusing and more compassionate.
"No, I'm taking responsibility for what I've done."
"Like what?" I asked, you father being an abusive alcoholic.
"Like, putting you in danger, like not being able to protect you from my father, like never being able to protect anyone from him, not even me, for being weak-"
"Kyle, listen to me, ok, you didn't put me in danger, ok, I'm the one who came back for you both times despite what you said. If you were weak you would be broken in more ways than you are right now, you would have given up living long ago, you would have stopped fighting back, and you wouldn't be here right now, you are one of the strongest people I know," I said, I felt myself choking up, hot tears coming to my eyes.
"You need to rest," he said, changing the subject.
"Kyle, can you just promise me something?" I asked.
"What?"
"Two things, one, you'll be there when I wake up."
"Ok."
"And two, you will stop blaming yourself for everything that happens to us, us meaning you, me, your family, and my family, ok?" I said, holding my hand up for him to shake. He paused for a minute before getting up, grabbing my hand and pulling my up.
"Fine," he said, bringing me to eye level, "but you have to do something for me."
"Name it."
"Stop putting yourself into danger."
"Can I help you out of danger?"
"Only if you don't put yourself in danger as a result."
"Deal," I said, immediately finding my loophole. He had never specified exactly what danger was. I smiled as I shook his hand and leaned against him as we walked back to my room. He held his arm around my waist and pulled me into him, but he never relaxed,he looked around cautiously. I kept my arm around his shoulder. We entered my room to find a reporter.
"Hello-"
"Leave please, we will answer your questions later," I said shortly.
"Ma'am, please, could I just-"
"Sir, I've been through a lot today, between the police, my parents, and what just went down in the hall forgive me for being a bit tired and edgy."
"Carlie, relax, ok, lets give him a chance ok," Kyle said, giving my good shoulder a squeeze.
"You may ask a grand total of three question to us, ok."
"So, how did you two meet?" the reporter asked.
"Lunch, first day of Freshman year," I answered.
"Have either of you changed for the other?"
"Yes," we both answer.
"How?"
"I've become more generous and thankful for what I have," I replied.
"And I've gotten more outgoing, now leave please," Kyle said, now getting irritated.
"Please, just one more question?" the reporter pleaded.
"No, we gave you a chance now leave, and now, you can't come back. So leave, now," Kyle said, I could see that he was about to loose it, which wasn't like him, it was more like me. His patience was gone and I think he wanted to get me some rest.
"Ok, ok,"the reporter said, backing towards the door.
Kyle and I lay down on the bed, my good shoulder tucked under his arm and head under his chin. I slowly moved my other arm up his torso, feeling every dip in his carved abs and chest. I felt a light pulse shooting through my shoulder as I did but I didn't care. Kyle sensed my pain and took my hand in his and kissed my forehead. I snuggled into him and let my eyelids droop.
~~~
"Carlie," I heard Kyle say, "Carlie, I'm just going to your house to grab something ok?"
"Mmmmh," I said still half asleep, "What are you getting?"
"Something for you," he whispered.
"Mmm, ok, be careful please."
"Ok." He kissed my forehead and left
~~~
I heard a noise, like a guitar. Ban ban ban ban babababan
"Stranger than your sympathy
and this is my apoligy
I killed myself from the inside out
and all my fears have pushed you out"
It was one of my favorites, Sympathy by the Goo Goo Dolls
"And I wished for things that I don't need"
"All I wanted," I mirrored.
"And what I chase won't set me free"
"All I wanted"
"Oh, yeah
Everything’s all wrong, yeah
Everything’s all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?1

And stranger than your sympathy
Take these things, so I don’t feel
I’m killing myself from the inside out
And now my head’s been filled with doubt2

We’re taught to lead the life you choose"
"All I wanted"
"You know your love’s run out on you"
"All I wanted"
And you can’t see when all your dreams aren’t coming true3

Oh, yeah
It’s easy to forget, yeah
When you choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?4

And stranger than your sympathy
And all these thoughts you stole from me
And I’m not sure where I belong
And no where’s home and no more wrong5

And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was
And I wouldn’t be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted
And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me6

Mmm, yeah
Stranger than your sympathy
Stranger than your sympathy
Mmm hmmm mmm"
The nurses in the door began clapping. Kyle and I jumped a little at the clapping, then looked at each other and smiled. It was one of my favorite songs and is was one of the first ones we had learned to play, together. We kept the guitar at my house in case his father found it and destroyed it or worse, destroyed Kyle for having it.
"Hey, do you guys wanna' sing for the kids here?" one of the nurses asked.
"Umm, we don't really know any kids songs, sorry," Kyle said.
"Well, How about visiting rooms and singing to adults, I'm sure that they could all use some cheering up," she said, they were obviously desperate for something, whether it was the entertainment or the help with patience I don't know.
"Ok, but on one condition," I said firmly.
"Ok, name it," the nurse said, at this point most of them had left.
"Give me some real clothes," I said smiling.
"Ok, I'll have someone bring you some jeans and a t-shirt," she said, whisking away in search of clothes.
"Really, your that self conscious?" Kyle asked jokingly.
"I at least wanna' look professional for our performance," I giggled, "besides, I'm sick of this hospital gown.
We both laughed, really laughed, for the first time in a while.
"And how are you going to change with your shoulder?" he asked, putting the guitar down and walking over.
"I'll manage," I said through a smile. We kissed and Kyle sat down on my bed, pulling me into him.
The doors sprang open and the nurse entered with a pair of jeans and an army green v-neck t-shirt.
"I hope these fit," she said, putting the clothes down and exiting the room.
"So, do you want me to leave or do you need help?" Kyle asked, a broad smile crossing his face.
"Actually, if you could untie the back that would be great," I said, turning away from him and pulling my hair over my shoulder. I was still wearing a bra and underwear so I really didn't care. Kyle untied me and I shrugged off the gown and quickly grabbed the t-shirt and pulled it over my head. I stuck my feet through the legs of the jeans and checked myself in the mirror. The t-shirt was a little lower cut than I usually wore but not to slutty and the jeans were a little lower than normal for me but they fit and they weren't hospital clothes so I was fine with it. I turned to Kyle.
"What do you think?"
"Wow, that's a little less conservative than normal," he said, his face dripping in surprise.
"Good or bad?" I asked.
"Well, personally I love it, but I don't really want to many guys to get jealous, I mean, I think that guy in the wheelchair there is checking you out," he said coming up to me and holding me around the waist.
"We should I take it off and walk around in a bra and underwear?" I asked sarcastically.
"Well, maybe once they see what's under that shirt they'll think twice he said.
"Are you saying I'm fat?" I asked, trying hard to keep a straight face.
"No, just chunky," he said smiling wide. I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing.
"Come on, lets go take musical request," I said grabbing the guitar.
He followed me out of our room to one of the nurses.
"So," I asked, "where do we go?"
"Here, a bunch of kids coming out of Chemotherapy are getting together and I think some music could really cheer them up."
"What should we play?" I asked.
"Do you know Slide, Wonderwall, 7

He took me to the roof top of his apartment, he looked almost happy. We lay there, on the roof, for what seemed like moments but what must have been hours, him holding me, me laying in his arms, looking for the stars. Finally he moved and got up. "I suppose you've been wondering why I've been acting so strange lately," he said. It was true, he had told me nothing. "The truth is, my parents, they just threw me out of the house. I didn't get into a good college. I have no money. My parents both hate me. My friends have more of a future than I do, I have nothing," his voice was blank. "You have me, why didn't you tell me, I can help you," I said, pleading for him just to look at me. "I can't put that on you, you won't love me forever, and I want you to be happy, and I can't give you that." He leaned over me and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. "Goodbye" he whispered, and got up. I got to my feet and watched him go to the roof ledge, then jump. I already felt the tears running down my face before he left me. It's my fault. I saw it coming, I felt it, and I did nothing. Now, in memory of him, I remember the good times we had, and cry, now for both us, not for just him.