I Am Here.

He is at her again. He is punching her in the face. She is screaming for him to stop. He continues to punch and kick her ignoring her cries.  He hits her again, telling her to stop crying, or he will hit her again. She is yelling at him to “stop” 1

She tells him that she loves him, and if he stops, she will give him anything he wants. 2

He does not stop: he continues to beat her.  He beat her up real bad this time. She is having a hard time moving. She is hurting more than usual. He tells her that he is sick of looking at her, and is going to bed. He walks over to the fridge, grabs a beer and heads off to bed. She is sitting on the floor covered in blood again. She tries to make excuses for his actions.  “He’s drunk again and doesn't’t know what he is doing”, she tells herself. 3

He wakes the next morning in a good mood as if nothing happened.4

She knows the truth, but does not say anything to him knowing that it was the alcohol and he did not know what he was doing. That night, he makes love to her. His touches are so soft and loving. They fall asleep in each other’s arms. She loves him. He wakes the next morning in a bad mood again.  She puts a smile on her face trying to make him happy.5

He hits her in the face demanding his breakfast. She is screaming inside for someone to help her. After eating his breakfast, he started to get ready for work, giving her a kiss saying, “I’m sorry I hit you. You just make me so mad sometimes. You make me hit you. But I do love you”.6

She is sitting at the table with her blood covering her, from him hitting her face. 7

She cleans up the house then makes a special romantic supper for him.8

He comes home late, and he is drunk again. She is scared, knowing what will happen.9

He beats her again, this time he cracks her ribs and dislocates her nose.10

She is screaming inside for someone to help her.  She hears a voice 11

“I’m here. I love you. I’m here”. 12

She looks around, but does not see anyone. He hits her again. She is now crying begging him to “stop”. He gets a drink and goes to bed. She sits up for awhile, making sure he is sleeping, then crawls in beside him to get some sleep herself.13

He wakes in the middle of the night, saying that he wants sex and she is going to give him what he wants. She tells him “no”, but he forces himself on her anyway.14

She is screaming inside again. She is scared he is going to kill her one day. Again, she dismisses his actions, and blaming it on alcohol.15

He leaves for work in the morning, in a good mood. Before leaving, he kisses her saying “I love you. I really do love you; you are the world to me.” 16

He then heads out the door. 17

She is crying while sitting in front of the window. She hears the voice again, 18

“I’m here. I love you. I am here”. 19

She looks around and does not see anyone. She feels alone again.20

She cleans the house, does the grocery shopping and the laundry.21

When she returns, she finds a message on the phone, it is him. He tells her that he got a raise and wants to celebrate this evening. She is excited. She spends most of the afternoon getting ready. She wants to look just perfect for him when he gets home.22

She hears him walk in the door. He is yelling her name. Her heart jumps a beat.23

She comes downstairs trying to smile for him. He calls her over to him. He punches her in the mouth again saying, “I called you this afternoon. You were not home. Where were you? Where you out getting laid? What is his name?” She tries to answer him, but he starts to hit her over, and over again.  She runs away towards one of the rooms, but he grabs her again, throws her to the floor and continues to beat her.  She is screaming for him to “stop”. However, he is not listening. He grabs the phone and hits her with it, then walks away.24

She stands up crying and trying to tell him what she did for the afternoon, and could prove it by the receipts. He hits her again hard in the stomach. He tells her to go wash up as she looks like a “drunken whore”. She does as she is told,  for fear he will hurt her again.25

She hears the voice again, “I am here. I love you. I am here.” She feels the voice is comforting, but is not sure, where it is coming from, or why she keeps hearing it.  She goes into the bathroom to clean up her face and make herself look good for him. 26

She comes out of the bathroom. Make up redone. He looks at her and asks her where she thinks she is going all dressed up like that.27

She replied, “You said that we were going to celebrate your raise this evening”. He then replied to her. “I never said anything about you celebrating with me. I said I wanted to celebrate my raise.”  She looked at him confused. He then tells her “I have some buddies coming over this evening. We are going to be celebrating together. You had better behave and do as you are told, or you won’t know what hit you after they leave.” She collects her thoughts for a moment, and then goes to the kitchen to start on snacks. 28

He spends the evening drinking. She knew that she would get beaten again tonight if she didn't’t do what was asked. She sees that he is mixing his drinks. She knows that he gets mean when he mixes his drinks. She walks over to him and whispers, “Honey, I love you, but please don’t mix your drinks. You are not the same person when you do this.” He turns his head looking at her. He sits for a moment, and then slaps her in the face. His friends do not say or do anything. He tells her that she is to mind her own business and she will pay later. She walks away with a tear running down her face. She goes up to her bedroom for a moment to collect herself. She is crying and saying, “Why does he always hurt me? Why does he hate me so much? I thought he loved me?” She sits on the bed crying. She feels something soft and gentle touch her skin. She looks around but does not see anyone. Then she hears the voice again, “I’m here sweetheart. I love you. I’m here”. 29

She looks around the room, and then looks outside the bedroom to see if anyone was there. She does not see anyone. She feels like she is going crazy now. She returns downstairs to the living room.  She sees him and his friends on the couch laughing and drinking. She goes and makes some more snacks.30

After his friends leave, he turns to her and tells her “now you will pay for making me look like a fool in front of my friends.” She tries to run, but he grabs her hair, pulling out a large chunk. He starts to beat her hard. He is yelling at her, calling her horrible names. She closes her eyes trying to pretend this was not happening. Then she feels something touching her skin. It is soft and gentle. She hears the voice again, “I’m here. I love you sweetheart. Open your eyes.”31

I open my eyes. I am shaking, crying and sweating all over. My husband asks me if I am okay. I tell him that I had those memories again. My husband tells me not to worry anymore, as he loves me and will protect me from now on.  I tell my husband that I am very lucky to have found such a wonderful man, after what I had been through. Then my husband tells me that he thinks he is the luckiest man to have found such a precious gift..........Me. 32