Final Transmission From The First Death Star

Hi Mom it’s Zandok.1

You remember I told you I was going to work on a secret assignment? Well, the secret’s out now. If you hadn’t already guessed, I’m on board the Death Star which recently blew up the Rebel planet, Alderaan. Unfortunately, the reason I’ve got time to record this message to you is that I’m in the detention center infirmary. I’ll explain why later in this message.2

You know I always wanted to serve aboard the Inquisitor, ever since you and Dad worked on its sensarray. My commander says I have space in my blood, I reckon it’s because I was born on board the space dock during the Inquisitor’s construction. Well, until now, I’ve been glad that I got transferred to the Death Star.3

While on the Inquisitor I worked in a technical crew running maintenance on sensor and scanning equipment. Three months at the academy didn’t teach me anything I hadn’t already learned from you and Dad, so I was always top of the class on probe droids and sensarrays. I spent months trying to get my section leader to do something about that blind spot at the back of a Star Destroyer’s bridge tower, but he always blocked my concerns from reaching the senior officers and deck crew. Bad news is rarely well received by Imperial Commanders.4

So, I got transferred off my dream ship, and none-too-soon from what I hear. Whoever decided that a Star Destroyer didn’t need escape pods has never been in combat with Rebel scum.5

I arrived at the Death Star and got assigned to scanning crew BT-445. Today I got a call to investigate a freighter which dropped out of hyperspace right amongst the pulverized remnants of Alderaan. There was supposed to be nobody on board, so my crewmate Rojan and I took the scanning array down to docking bay 327 and up onto the freighter’s main entrance ramp when, Bam! I got whacked on the head by some lousy rebel thug. Next thing I knew, I was coming round in an infirmary bed, a bacta patch on the back of my skull.6

So, that’s where I am now. There are armed guards on the doors, because this is the detention block infirmary. That’s right, they’re going to press competency charges against me and Rojan. They should be charging the idiot who said there was nobody on the freighter. Anyway, I wanted you to know now, because you never know the outcome of an Imperial Navy trial.7

The klaxons are sounding. Apparently, when we let the freighter and the rebels escape, we followed it back to the Rebel Secret Base. We’ll blow it up soon. I’ll send this message as soon as the primary weapon starts to charge (you can hear it from anywhere aboard the Death Star) as there’ll be a transmission blackout once it fires.8

Anyway, apparently there were some criminals onboard the freighter and an old man who thought he was some kind of Jedi Knight. Lord Vader gave an order that no one else was allowed to kill the old man. Then he used him for a bit of light saber practice. Better him than one of the crew I suppose.9

The klaxons didn’t sound this long when we took out Alderaan, so I guess the Rebels are putting up some attempt at resistance. It doesn’t matter, there won’t be a Rebel Alliance for much longer.10

I can hear primary ignition commencing, so I’ll sign off. Wish me luck in the trial.