1-(Run For Your Life)-11
Her pace quickened even more as the darkness drew near her, clouding her mind and leaving only one thought. Her bare feet pounded the ground and mud splattered up on her pale legs. She hated her night clothes more then ever now. Trees surrounded her and she closed her eyes tightly. It took all of her strength not to collide with the passing trees. They towered above her reminding her constantly that she was stuck, trapped in this woods she had grown to love.2
The teen’s hair was dark brown like the trees around her and her dark brown eyes looked back. She once hated the dullness of herself but those colors just might save her life tonight. Her arms pumping at her side and her feet continued to pound the ground. Her breathing was ragged and her throat, lung all burned with the cold air. Fog was rising off of the near by creek and was wrapping its deadly grip around her. Her tang-top and shorts were of no use to her now, considering they were as white as the moon. 3
She ran harder at the sound of movement behind her and she knew she had no time to ponder whether it was an owl or not. She had one destination in mind and that destination was more then a mile away. Safety was not at her home, only blood remained and the mangled bodies of her parents. No she must not think of them now, not now. 4
Her options if you run you lived but if you stopped you died. Why in the world couldn’t she remembered what the movie was like, it would have been so helpful now. How to escape a ravaging murderer that was after you blood? Nope she missed the episode cause of work, see work isn’t always a good thing. 5
She missed the comfort of her home, the softness of her carpet and the laughter of her high school crush. The amazing sleepovers with her best friends and her parents threatening it would be the last time if they didn’t get to sleep. What was the time? Somewhere around 8 in the morning and they had stayed up all night never sleeping too. Oh why was she remembering this now?6
Her feet pounded harder and harder, she pushed her body to its limits. She prayed that she was strong enough to make it a mile running non-stop. She prayed because she had no other option, it would take a miracle. Was she the miracle type of girl? 7
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Comments
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I really liked this story! It was a very good beginning chapter- it had amazing descriptions, and it left me wanting more. The girl really intrigued me- why was she running away, and who was running after her? You gave just enough detail. It was perfect! However, look back over your grammar: you had a couple of misspelled words, and some missing puncuation. Other than that, it was a great read!


