Danielle

1

There are many stories about gods and goddesses, beautiful beings that are meant to be loved and worshipped. Danielle was a goddess to me, and I had been kneeling at the foot of her temple since the day we had found ourselves assigned to adjoining rooms in college. But it had been over ten years since I last saw her, the day she married. I don’t ever recommend attending the wedding of the woman you love. Every word spoken and every vow taken tore at the heart of me, until I couldn’t take anymore and had to feign illness. It wasn’t too much of a stretch, because I felt like I was going to vomit. What made it even more difficult was that I actually liked her husband, Brian. He was a kind, generous soul who never raised his voice to anyone. It’s too bad he wasn’t an asshole. I could have hated him with a clear conscience. 2

A lot can happen to a person in ten years. One could lose weight, or gain weight. One’s years could begin to show with wrinkles and grey hair. Or one could grow bitter and discontented with the cards that life had dealt them. As I watched Danielle move down the street towards me I knew that none of these things had touched her. She was three blocks away when I spotted her walking towards me with confident strides. She was still beautiful, still radiant. Danielle had a small oval face, perfect jaw line, and large doe eyes. Her gorgeous black mane billowed down her back and gently swayed back and forth as she moved. She was wearing a black skirt that fell just past her knees, and a white print blouse that accented her full round breasts nicely. Dark hose and three inch heels made her long legs seem even longer. I could see her silver grey eyes shining in the early morning sunlight. They say Helen of Troy had a face that launched a thousand ships. Those ships would have run each other into the ground to reach Danielle, she was that beautiful.3

If I called out would she know me? It’s been ten years and still my heart pounded in my chest like a love sick teenager. Maybe I’ll just pretend I hadn’t seen her and continue on with my life without her. Who needs the complication, right? I tried to move but I couldn’t tear myself away. Someone shouted her name, and I realized with horror that it was me. What was I doing? I looked away quickly and hurried in the opposite direction. 4

“Geri! Hi”5

Damn. She remembered me. Yay! She remembered me! My head told my heart to shut up as I faced Danielle with what I hoped was a confident smile and not a silly grin. “Danielle. Hey!” My voice was surprisingly normal and not the high pitched school girl squeal I’ve come to loathe with everything in my being. Brownie points for me. “Wow! It’s so wonderful to see you again! How long’s it been?” Ten years, three months, twenty-one days, five hours, two minutes and ten, eleven, twelve seconds. But who’s counting?6

“God, I haven’t seen you since the day of my wedding.” Funny how one happy word could cause so much pain. 7

I fixed a phony smile to my face. How is Brian? I heard he got a job with the D.A’s office.” I managed to sound sincere and even kept the disappointment from showing when she said Brian was doing well. Things were just perfect between them. Whoopee.8

So there we were, standing in the middle of a busy sidewalk, catching up on each other’s lives. Actually she was doing the catching up. I was busy fighting off the urge to touch her. She was so close. I could smell her perfume, Night Magic, my favorite. That sweet scent could melt me into the pavement.9

Danielle asked a question and, before I knew, it I was agreeing to meet her for dinner the following evening. Never mind the fact that I had already made plans with Monica, the woman I’ve been seeing for six months. Monica? Monica who? Danielle hugged me goodbye and continued on with her day, leaving me standing, bewildered, on the sidewalk. Pedestrians pushed past me as I stared at her retreating backside. I mean back.10

The next day found me at work counting every slow agonizing minute. I felt like I was back in high school, waiting for the bell to ring so I could get the hell out of there. Three o’clock finally rolled around. I bolted for the door before my boss could think of some last minute emergency that only I could deal with, being the most experienced dispatcher at University Hospital.11

I went shopping. I swear there was a snowball somewhere in hell that day. I hate shopping for clothes. I always said that if I ever made enough money or won the lottery I’d pay someone to do it for me. Just take my measurements and go. Have fun.12

I tried to think of what to tell Monica on the way to the mall. What was I supposed to say? Sorry, honey. I can’t make it tonight. The love of my life and I are going to dinner. I’ll call you tomorrow? Monica was a really sweet girl and I didn’t want to hurt her. It wasn’t like I was cheating on her. It was just dinner, with another woman, who was more beautiful than Aphrodite. I was screwed. I finally called Monica from the mall parking lot, and did what any woman in my position would do. I lied through my teeth and prayed to God for forgiveness.13

I suffered through two hours of trying on outfit after outfit before I got fed up and bought the first shirt and pair slack I had tried on in the very beginning. I was lucky. I still had hair that I hadn’t pulled out yet. I went home showered and shaved( my legs, my armpits, my…)14

“What do you think?” I asked my St. Bernard. It was seven o’clock. I was due at the restaurant in a half an hour. I look pretty damn good if I do say so myself.” Brandy harrumphed and laid her incredibly large head on her paws. Dogs have no fashion sense. I checked myself one last time in the full length mirror. I felt a little uncomfortable in the blood red, silk blouse I had purchased. I didn’t want Danielle to think I was a vampire, but the color showed off the red tints in my dark brown hair and highlighted my chocolate brown eyes. The collar was buttoned high on my neck. I couldn’t do much with my hair, being as short as it was, but I moussed it up and had a nice little spike going. Not punkish, just, I hate to say it, butch. The mousse made my hair look almost black. My black slacks had that brand new and never been washed look, probably because they were brand new and had never been washed. Black socks and a shine on my black dress shoes that would make any military officer envious completed my ensemble. I took a deep breath, and grabbed my keys. Ready or not it was time to go. 15

The closer I got to the restaurant the more nervous I became. The butterflies in my stomach just wouldn’t quit. They became worse and worse until I thought I was going to hyperventilate. I pulled my grayish blue Mustang into Fredriko’s parking lot, turned off the engine and laid my head on the steering wheel. Relax. It’s just dinner. Just breathe. In, out. Deep breaths. All those babies I‘d delivered over the airwaves was paying off. My breathing returned to normal. I exited the vehicle and walked towards the entrance. Then I saw her, and my knees buckled. I latched onto a light pole to keep my balance. Was she trying to kill me?! She wore her hair up this evening, with pearls interwoven with her locks. The color of the dress she wore was a deep purple. It was a v neck that continued almost past her navel and tied at the neck. The dress barely covered the important parts. Her makeup was subtle, perfectly accenting the rest of her. Tonight she wore high heels with out the stockings. Danielle absolutely took my breath away. I looked down at my own attire and became vastly aware of how grossly underdressed I was, and again felt the urge to slink away unseen. Danielle spotted me and waved. So much for plan A.16

“Are you all right?” Danielle asked when my rubbery legs were able to join her. “You look a little pale.”17

“I…I’m fine,” I managed to choke out. “ I just wish I hadn’t left my ball gown at home. You…you look beautiful. You’re amazing!” God, I was drooling all over her. She smiled that beautiful smile and kissed me lightly on the cheek. A feeling of warmth swept through my body. I knew I was blushing, I only hoped the poor lighting would conceal my burning cheeks. I offered my arm in homage of our old tradition. “Shall we?”18

I strolled into Fredriko’s with my lady on my arm. I had never been to Fredriko's Bistro. I’d always though of it as a place where snobs go to talk about their money. As the maitre d led Danielle and me to our table, I realized I was right. The little snippets of conversation I overheard as we walked past were about spending money, losing money and how to make more money. I became aware of a growing silence as we wound our way through the many tables. I don’t know if it was seeing two women together, or that Danielle had the same affect on others as she had on me. I think it was a little of both. I could hear the hens clucking there disapproval. The men however… they were giving Danielle sidelong, lustful, glances and me envious ones, even after we had been seated and had ordered our drinks. I smiled to myself, puffed out my chest and ruffled my tail feathers. I was one proud rooster, hen, whatever.19

Fredriko’s was a genuine French restaurant, complete with French only menus and waiters who spoke in phony French accents. On any other night I might have complained about the lack of English translations on the menus. I could be ordering raw liver and onions for all I knew. And asking someone to interpret made me feel like a complete imbecile. But tonight I was with Danielle . The perfect woman spoke perfect French. The language flowed effortlessly from her. She was better than the native Parisian living three doors down from me, in fact. I would have gladly eaten liver and onions and ask for seconds just to hear her speak in that foreign tongue again. The only word I understood as she ordered for both of us was merci. Liver and onions? Merci. We had escargot for appetizers, which I knew to be snails, having eaten them at the rehearsal dinner for Danielle’s wedding. Everything else tasted like chicken.20

I became more relaxed as the evening wore on. Danielle had a knack for winding me up then putting me totally at ease. She went on at length about the work she was doing for the ACLU. I told her the funniest stories I could think of working as a dispatcher. She laughed when I explained how a man got his penis stuck in a jar. Don’t ask. I didn’t tell her about Monica, and she never mentioned Brian.21

It was closing time when we left. I insisted on paying the bill, so what if I would be eating grilled cheese sandwiches for the next two weeks. A gentleman always paid for the lady. We left her car at the restaurant and drove down to Creighton Beach in mine. The lights of the houses shimmered on the low tide coming in. The waves gently pushed their way to shore one by one.22

Danielle and I strolled along the wet sand enjoying the peaceful silence. Her heels dangled from her fingers, my shoes, stuffed with my socks, in mine. It was the first time all evening that I felt completely relaxed. Our hands touched, our fingers intertwined. I sighed inwardly in contentment. It had always been this way, Danielle giving me what I needed without saying a word. There was nothing ever sexual about it. It was comforting, calm. I was her gentleman, she, my lady. That’s they way she liked to play. I never told her how much more it meant to me. We came upon a bridge of rocks that jutted out over the ocean and decided to take a rest. I drew my knees to my chest and watched the swirling, foamy waves splash gently against the rocks. Danielle sat beside me resting her head on my shoulder. I put my arm around her and tried to remain motionless, not wanting to disturb the delicate balance. I took in the scent of her hair, her skin, her everything.23

“Are you happy?” The question startled me out of my revelry. Was I happy? At the moment I was ecstatic, but I knew she meant happy in a grander sense. Before I could come up with an answer she spoke again. “What’s her name?”24

What’s who’s name?” I asked puzzled.25

“Your girlfriend’s.”26

“How…”27

She smiled. “Lucky guess.” Danielle stood, offering her hand to help me to my feet. We walked back up the beach toward my waiting car. “If only I weren’t married,” Danielle said wistfully.28

“What?” Why?” I asked her, surprised. 29

She stopped and looked intently into my eyes “Because, if I wasn’t married I could do this,” She leaned into me and brushed her lips with mine. My lips parted to welcome her home. It was all I ever hoped it would be. A wave of electricity passed between us. I grabbed her waist and held her tightly.30

“Danielle,” I breathed, Danielle…”31

“Danielle!" I looked around, startled. Brian was calling her from across the street. She hadn’t seen me. I quickly ducked into a nearby coffee house and hid behind the window curtains. The two hugged and kissed in front of the shop. A blind man could see they were very much in love. Brian said something I couldn’t hear and Danielle burst into laughter. If only I could have made her laugh like that. Damn you, Brian! Danielle adjusted Brian’s crisp tie then the two of them continued arm in arm along the sidewalk, never knowing that someone was watching, dreaming.32

I exited the building and stared after them. Monica was waiting. But Danielle had been mine. For a half a second we were together, kissing, embracing. And a half a second longer I would have told her what I so desparately needed to say. “Danielle…baby, I love you.”33