Waves

My heart was racing as sunrise's cold ocean water splashed over my head. It was frightening yet exhilarating at the same time. I was afraid, but it was a fear I craved. It made my stomach drop and my breathing slow. It was something different yet captivating and amazing. There was something about the golden orange glow of the sunset that seemed to bring my heart to a sudden stop.1

No. It wasn't the gorgeous view. It was the breathtaking man beside me. The first romantic experience of my life and it was with a guy seven years older than me. He'd had seven more years to experience life's simple pleasures and revel in romance. He'd had those extra years to do things I'd only dreamed about with people more attractive and more exciting than me. They did interesting things and went cool places. I knew his past lovers were much closer to his age. They were more sophisticated; demure.2

But,somehow,that didn't bother me. After weeks and weeks of brooding, I'd finally gotten up the courage to go out on a real date with him. Unlike most girls, I'd originally been dreading the date on the beach. While many girls would kill to date such an older, more mature man, I was scared to death. Compared to the other girls out there, I was nothing. Chestnut hair, a tiny frame, and sheepish emerald eyes made for an attractive sight, but nothing that would take your breath away. Not like his past girlfriend. I didn't understand why he would want me. I didn't understand what made me so special. But, somehow, the moment the date began, all my worries turned to ashes; blown away by the sweet ocean breeze.3

There was something about Dean. There had always been something about him. He didn't push, demand, or control. He'd always only wanted me to be comfortable. He'd only ever asked from me what he thought was reasonable. And, before that day, it was merely a brush of the hands or a press of the lips to my forehead. I was only seventeen. He didn't want to push me. He knew I'd never been kissed and wasn't about to make me go any farther than I'd ever gone. And I appreciated that more than he could ever know.4

As the turquoise waves crashed down on me, a free laugh escaped my lips. I loved the ocean. I think that's why Dean chose the beach for our first real date. He wanted to make it special; romantic. He knew that I loved the ocean. I'd told him about my admiration for the peaceful place long before we'd started being more than friends. I was just amazed he still remembered.5

A large hand brushed my own as I surfaced from beneath the water. It was hesitant, but questioning as the fingers touched my own. He wanted a little more than just a little brush. He wanted to hold me closer in some way. If a hand was all I was ready for, then a hand it was. He was just happy to be ther with me. He would only go as far as I wanted. To him, hurting me was something that unforgivable. All he wanted was for me to be content in the relationship. He'd told me countless times that he would do anything for me.6

A small smile crept across his handsome face as I laced my fingers with his. It was the first time I'd ever held his hand. As our fingers laced together, he used his thumb to gently caress my hand. It was his way of letting me know he cared. With Dean, actions spoke louder than words. With him, words were scarcely used.7

Several more moments were spent playing in the salty water before the sun began to rise high in the sky. Tourists and locals alike would be crowding the beach within an hour. They always did. We both knew that their hustling and bustling would ruin our date. With us, we preferred empty serenity to overbearingly busy. It was just the way we worked.8

Hands still entwined, Dean pulled me deeper into the water. Large, rolling waves crashed down on us as we waded deeper and deeper. As we approached deeper waters, I stopped.9

"I can't walk any farther," I told him. "I'm too short."10

Not a word was said as gently gathered me up in his strong, tanned arms. Wet dark hair dripped down on me from above as a larger smile crept across his face.11

With me safely in his arms, Dean pushed on. He was at least a foot taller than my puny five foot three. The deeper waters proved to be no trouble for him. The smile never left his face as we continued on. We pressed on until we reached the yellow barrier buoy.12

Wave after wave crashed over our heads, but Dean was unfazed. As the sounds of tourists began to slowly fill the beach behind us, he pressed his lips against mine.13

It was gentle, but passionate, a mixture of sweet root-bear and salty ocean water. Lips pressed together time after time, transporting us to what seemed like another world. With just the two of us there, the rest of the world disappeared.14

For once, I wasn't over-thinking. At that point, I was just going with the flow. Whatever Dean wanted, I was ready to give him. After several moments of brushing lips, his tongue gently ran along my lower lip. Opening my mouth, I permitted his eager tongue entrance into my mouth.15

As his tongue prepared for an imminent tango, another wave crashed down on us. The unexpected cold clashed with the heat of his body causing my mouth to clamp down. On his tongue. The moment was ruined and a grimace was temporarily set on his face.16

"Sorry," I murmured, biting my lip.17

To my surprise, Dean merely laughed. He grinned as a look of sheer terror crossed my face.18

"Well, I guess I'll know better than to try that again," he grinned.19

And, with that one little teasing comment, the world was right again. Dean wasn't mad- amused, but not mad- and the moment of tension was gone.20

The moment might have been ruined, but I was sure we'd have many more. I'd just have to remember to avoid dancing tongues for a while. As Dean carried me back to the beach, a smile spread across my face. My first kiss was amazing, I had an incredibly sweet boyfriend, and our first real date was romantic. Life was good.

Author notes



There is no such thing as love at first sight. I believe in attraction at first sight, but not love. Love is when you know their goods, theirt bads, their strengths, their weaknesses and you love them for the good AND the bad. Love is a depper connection. You understand each other as best you can. Love is not perfect. Love at first sight would be too perfect. It's blindly going into something you don't know. You can be attracted to the way they look, act, or something like that, but I do not believe you can just fall in love after one look. It's too simple.


magic: moonwriter

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 38 of 38

  • So Strange Greeters member
    July 12

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    I think it was rather realistic in many ways. I think it was nice and well written, smart and the romance in this seemed like it could have actually been happening. I think it was interesting, though, how you described things. I loved the descriptions, but usually, to me, descriptions that are as well thought out as yours usually settle in my mind for a while before I can read further.

    I hope you have the best of luck in this contest--the one I'm co-judging--and that you enjoyed writing this as much as the rest of the people reading it did in reading it. I would have probably liked a little more dialogue, but that's just my personal taste, nothing against your writing.


  • Siby Anan
    July 2
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    This was a great way to show a first date and a first kiss. It was really sweet, and kept to the point the entire time. And you really nicely showed how firsts don't necessarily have to be perfect, because you have all the time in the world to make up for it :]


  • xMoonlightxDreamsx
    June 29

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    Awww, I enjoyed reading this very much. I've had a lot of moments like that with my boyfriend. Good luck!


  • trekkergirl
    February 26

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    I gotta say this was a very interesting read about someones first kiss. I have to say this read so very real to me.. just like it had happened to me myself. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.


  • beezy92
    December 24, 2008

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    I like this. It's sweet. A lot of time was spent talking about what Dean's feelings were though, which was interesting since it was in the first person. Still, a sweet story. (: Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest!


  • islekine
    December 3, 2008
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    A wonderfully written love story...

    very sweet...best wishes in the contest!
    Write on...


  • donuts-and-music
    November 27, 2008
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    it was sweet.


  • Someday Hero. gold member
    November 22, 2008

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    This was very romantic and sweet. ^^ I loved it. But anymore there are many younger girls that go with a older guy just for his money..I'm glad, thats not her reason. Thanks for entering and goodluck~


  • Noisome.
    November 16, 2008

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    I'm thinking this is the little to no dialogue option, and, by golly, a wonderful addition it is. (=
    I love sweet romance and this is just adorable. I, too have tackled the age innocence romance bit and I think it's a sweet deal.
    Your descriptions are so soft and I'm jealous of your main character. This was very sweet and thank you very much for the entry.
    It lacked substance a little, but the floaty romance kind of compensated. =] Thanks for the entry!


  • Atticus Unanimous
    November 2, 2008

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    This has been in a lot of contests! Just noticed that. Anyway, this was sweet. I've never experienced so I can't say how realistic this is but I do know that you've done a wonderful job creating this scene. One question though: is it sunset or sunrise? At first you weretalking about the sunset and then how the characters wanted to leave before the sun was too high and the tourists started coming.

    Anyway, nice job. I liked it a lot.


  • Surreal Rhapsody
    October 22, 2008

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    Beautiful begining. The discription made me feel there, and I could relate to the exileration that provked the thrilling sense of fear.

    Very beautiful story, you are incredialbly talanted at imagry. I have to say, the most beautiful thing in the world is true love and acceptence for how one is. Dean must have been a great guy. He saw her beauty rather than comparing it to others. He saw her smile, respected her bounries and didn't blame her for things she was still learning about (kissing)

    Terrific story. It made me feel warm inside. Here are some clappy's:


  • InksterMoxy
    October 19, 2008
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    woww wonderful use of figurtive language. I believed it. And it was a nice read too. Keep it UP

    beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.


  • Lady Eventide Greeters member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, wow! I really like that you took my breath away with this piece, especially:

    It was gentle, but passionate, a mixture of sweet root-bear and salty ocean water. Lips pressed together time after time, transporting us to what seemed like another world. With just the two of us there, the rest of the world disappeared.

    Oh, so beautiful!

    I thank you for entering this piece into my contest,
    and wish you luck in future writerly endeavors,

    Lady Editor

    There was something about golden orange glow that seemed to bring my heart to a sudden stop. [There was something about the golden orange glow of the __________ that seemed to bring my heart to a sudden stop.]

    But [,] somehow [,] that didn't bother me. After weeks and weeks of brooding, I'd finally gotten up the courage to go out on that [a] date with him. Unlike most girls, I'd been dreading the date on the beach [Huh?]. While many girls would kill to date such [seven years isn't much] an older, more mature man, I was scared to death.

    He was just happy to be ther [there] with me. He would only go as far as I wanted. To him, hurting me was something that unforgivable [perhaps just "unforgivable"].

    With us, we preferred empty serenity to an overbearingly busy [would omit the word "an"].


  • Neolittlefish
    October 14, 2008

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    I agree, I don't really believe in love at first sight! You explained the story very well with a lot of description,and it was a great way of showing love between people


  • writeroftoast
    October 13, 2008

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    Your comment about love at first sight was so true! The story was good, and the man you explained seemed so perfect. I enjoyed reading it, and I believed it conveyed young romance extremely well. Good luck on the contest!

  • ZackTruel
    October 9, 2008

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    You did a good job on this story. It didn't have quite the scenery description that I was looking for, but you did a great job on your descriptive detail. Good work.


  • PlasticRoze
    October 8, 2008

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    4rm the "Contest Starter"

    great job 100%! this was amazing! perfect detailing... perfect romance... perfect wording... PERFECT! you are truly an amazing writer!!!


  • EmeraldLullaby
    September 29, 2008

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    Very cute story, although I'm not sure it really defines love. I think it comes close, possibly, but the first kiss does not always create love. I really liked the connection between the two characters and that most of it was non-verbal. In paragraph 6, you need to change "ther" to "there", it's obviously just a typo, I know it wasn't intentional. You write well, and really captivate your audience with words. Thank you for entering the contest! Good Luck!

    --Sarah


  • Valkyrie silver member
    September 7, 2008

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    Oh, I like the thumb caress thing. I'm a fan of that particular gesture myself. I also find ocean beaches terribly romantic. Nothing special needs to happen at them even; just being on the beach is romantic.
    And I'm with you on the love and attraction page.
    P6 there = there
    P13 unphased = unfazed
    P16 clam down - did you mean clamp? because clam is also oceanically amusing
    Overall a very sweet story, and I loved the way you accept the loss of one moment and look forward to more. Thanks for entering this in my contest, and good luck!


  • quicksilver moon
    September 7, 2008

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    Very nicely written sweet love story. The kiss that went wrong especially made it realistic. And yeah, I noticed that you read the rules. Thanks for entering this story.


  • happy go lucky13
    September 3, 2008
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    this was awesome and sweet, i loved it. but you must put the thing in your authors notes!!!


  • Taylor Renee
    August 30, 2008
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    I love this. I think it's sweet, in a kind of way that isn't too cliche.

    The wording and vocab is perfect, the overall style's great. =]

    I really like this. I think it's sweet, direct, and romantic.

    Congrads on being nominated, and I wish you the absolute best of luck!

    xoxo
    -♥-
    Tay


  • I Dare to Dream
    August 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was so cute!

    I like how the first kiss isn't perfect. Too many stories have been written about the "perfect" first kiss. The descriptions were excellent, and your wording just as good. I can see why you were nominated for Best Romance Story!

    Great job and good luck!


  • Tiger-Lily
    August 28, 2008

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    Oooh I recall reading the extract form this. Very cute work. I like the unusual imperfect first kiss. ^_^

    -HT


  • Cheerful-Panda
    August 27, 2008
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    I like this, the main character is very relatable but I get this classic romance novel feel from your story. I don't know why. I love beach settings so this defintley got my attention.
    This was very sweet and loving and the ending was cute.
    Best of luck in the contest !

    Miranda


  • GossipGirlLuvR
    August 9, 2008
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    I actually really like this because it seems like you can relate to the character. All of the feelings are real feelings people feel. People also feel that sometimes life is good. That is why I love the ending. This was really nice. Great job. I wish you the best of luck in my contest.


  • Frozen Angel
    August 8, 2008
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    I'm so glad you got nominated for the SW Oscars and wish you the best of luck. I love this story!

    *Frozen Angel*


  • Blackwings
    August 5, 2008

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    Ha! I loved it! It was so sweet and the way the emotions and complete trust in one another was just great! I really liked the characters and the personality you gave them ^.^ nicely done. Loved the fact that she went and bit his tounge XD I laughed at that part completely believable but still funny. Now my grammer ranting XD There wasn't any BIG mistakes just one and it doesn't really matter too much but I just have an obsession with it XD So In paragraph 6 the 6th sentence "ther" is "there" ^.^ But anyways amazingly done! I loved this story and it was amazingly cute!
    ♥ Blackwings


  • K.Tangent
    July 24, 2008

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    Believable, I think that's what made this story so beautiful was because it was believable. I could so see myself doing something silly and clumsy along those lines with a guy older then myself. (>.> Actually if I remember correctly I did do something very embarrassing that was kinda similar to this.) You made it realistic, yet something special that we all wish we could strive for. It was heart warming, and I still love these two characters.


  • Naive.
    July 24, 2008

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    You know, I wasn't sure how much I would like this when I started to read. I'm not a big fan of romance (it's weird that I'm holding a romance contest, isn't it?), and I thought this might end up being just a typical, cliche piece. While I think it started off too slow and I almost got bored with it, I think the small awkward moment made this piece really great. It was sweet, endearing, and set this apart from other romance stories. You also used some good description to describe how she felt about Dean. Overall, this was a nice romantic read. =]

    Thanks for entering and good luck!

    -jj


  • Midnight-Engaged
    July 14, 2008
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    I agree with you: this is an excellent story. I loved it: it was exactly what I was looking for. I'm going to bookmark this for reference, becuase the idea I got uses so many of the things you naturally put into this piece.

    I thought it was a very calm, sincere story. It flows really well, and the beginning pulls you in gently. Wonderful job!!!


  • Rosemary silver member
    July 10, 2008
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    Good story

    I liked the tension you built up in this short story. Good luck with my contest.

  • Frozen Angel
    July 10, 2008

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    Ahh...sweet

    It's like the fairytale we all dream of living. Love is such a beautiful thing, even if I am convinced that it is, in fact, merely an illusion. Anyhow, you did a fantastic job on this. Keep up the good work!

    *Frozen Angel*


  • TheFemmeFatale
    July 9, 2008

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    Lovely
    I've read this before and I love it! Nice writing, too! The characters are awesome. Are these the people you want to use in that series.

  • sugarrrainbow
    July 8, 2008
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    I see I have already commented on this and I still stick by what I said. Good job!

  • sugarrrainbow
    July 6, 2008
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    This was good, and something that I don't see very often.
    The way Dean treated her was incredibly endearing and something I like to find in romantic stories.
    And the setting was good, as well. I don't see many first kisses in the ocean. It was cool.
    Very sweet and very romantic. Very good and pretty original!


  • Reaver Greeters member
    June 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very good with describing her and setting her thought environment and strong voice. And bringing forth her 'newness' at the situation. Wonderful place setting.

    In P6 ther should be there.

    'To him, hurting me was something that unforgivable.' missing 'was'?

    'With us, we preferred empty serenity to an overbearingly busy.' < really liked this sentence

    P11 , after Wet.

    In P14 'root-bear' should this be Rootbeer? Don't really know if root-bear was something else?

    Really liked the awkward moment when she bit his tongue. Good job with this paragraph When something like that happens with a first kiss, it just makes it more memorable in the long run

    This was very wonderfully written, and i truly enjoyed reading it. You followed the prompt out with grace and brought me into the story. I applaud you in a strong story Bravo!


  • xXSongxxofxxLifeXx
    June 30, 2008

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    Awww. How cute. I want a really sweet guy like that. Too bad they're really hard to find. I really liked this. Good job my friend!

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