Untitled - Chapter 17 - The Rightful Heir - Seg.3

{segment 3 of chapter 17 - Avalia}1

My heart sinks to my stomach the moment Garn says his formal farewell. The way he says it… is so final. It’s as if we are no longer friends now that I’m an Empress. I flatten my expression and hope he can’t see how much I don’t want to go with Logan, and it seems I am convincing. All familiarity leaves his voice as he bows to me, and Logan slowly pulls into the street. As we speed up, I can’t stop myself from suddenly tightening my grip around his waist and cringe inwardly. It takes a bit of effort to loosen my grip; moving at such speeds with nothing guarding my fall completely unnerves me.2

As if reading my mind, Logan seems to slow down a little, but on a bike you have to go reasonably fast or you hold up traffic. Soon we’re shooting past the dull buildings in a blur and I decide it’s best if I just close my eyes. I try to shift my thoughts onto something other than the traffic flashing past, but then I find myself worrying about my destination.3

An Empress. That’s what I am now. I shouldn’t let anything intimidate me, only I don’t feel any different with this new title. If anything, it’s just made everything worse. How could I possibly go from being an Outsider to the Empress of the City, anyway? It just doesn’t make sense, no matter how much proof Garn and Logan give me. How can…?4

I just can’t imagine being any more important that I’ve always been. It’s so difficult for me to comprehend. I know it’s true, but it just doesn’t feel… real. And I’m not fit to rule a people I’ve only just gotten to know. They used to be my enemies, for heaven’s sake! I’m the worst person for the job; I may have Insider royal blood in my veins, but I was raised by Outsiders, who know nothing about any of this. I don’t know what I’m doing.5

But I can’t let the Government control me. I just have to learn about these things so that I can do the right thing by all of the thousands of people relying on me for justice and safety now. The pressure makes me want to start crying again; I squeeze my eyes tightly shut. This is too much!6

“Highness.” I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of Logan’s voice in my ear. I forgot; we put in earpieces so we could communicate throughout the journey to the Triumph, the Emperor’s—my—building.7

“Yes?” I ask.8

“You don’t need to worry about what’s ahead,” he says in his usual monotone; simply stating facts. “No one’s going to throw you off a building and expect you to fly. Just figure things out one at a time; it’s not going to be half as bad as you think. If Duvavi managed to do it, you’ll do ten times better.” A hint of dryness enters his voice at the last, reminding me that this youth is in fact human like the rest of us. It’s unsettling enough that he seems to know everything I’m feeling. But for some reason his words are some comfort.9

“Thankyou, Logan,” I murmur. Maybe it won’t be so impossible. Perhaps my only real trouble is that I simply don’t want to be an Empress. The City walls are already making me feel confined, and I don’t belong in this world of robots and scheming and murder. Like the Outside, I think wryly, minus the robots. I suppose I never really belonged there either. I seem to have forgotten that now that I’ve found a new life to be unhappy about.10

It always seems like I only feel natural around Garn. When he’s around I feel like I… fit. I feel welcome, and whatever I do, he won’t judge me. I suppose a person like him is rare; I wish I could make people feel safe that way.11

I sigh unhappily. I may never see him again. And if I do, he’ll treat me like an Empress; not as a friend. It will be as if we never knew each other. Silently, I wish I hadn’t cried right there in front of him last night. I don’t know what came over me; I’ve rarely shed a tear for most of my life, but when I found out my whole identity was not what I thought it was, I suppose the shock took hold of me.12

Well, it won’t happen again. If I need to be an Empress, I’m going to do a good job of it. No one is going to control me.13

As we near the Triumph and head beneath the building and into a carpark, Logan warns me about some of the members of the senate, making it difficult once more for me to quell the nerves.14

“They all voted that none of them should meet you today so as not to intimidate you,” he says as we round a corner in search of an empty park, “But I have no doubt that they’ll all try to ‘accidentally’ bump into us so that they can gain your favour and confidence. They can’t do anything to you, but I’m just telling you so that you won’t be caught off-guard. Valetish is the first one we’re likely to meet; I believe she’ll be riding the elevators around the time of your arranged arrival. But we won’t necessarily meet her; there are three lifts and the odds are against her for being on the right one. She also might be found and chastened by one of the other advisors.15

“As for the rest, I don’t know where they’ll pop up, but I expect that only the ones who want more control over matters will bother meeting you today. Sicon, Winston, Pursh… Don’t let Pursh’s metal teeth scare you; that’s his only reason for having them. We wouldn’t want to give him the satisfaction,” he grins at me incongruously as we stop the bike near the far wall on the lowest level. He rarely smiles. We both get off the bike, my legs feeling weak after being so tense throughout the entire journey, and I follow his lead as he takes his earpiece out and slips it into his pocket.16

Together, we begin walking back up to the surface. “Then there’s also Duvavi himself,” Logan continues. “It’s quite possible we’ll meet him today. He’ll just want to factor you into his plans for regaining the throne, probably. But it’s going to take a lot for anyone in the senate to agree to that. Stop worrying, Highness.”17

I clamp my mouth shut; I was about to voice my doubts.18

Finally, we reach the surface again and head through the main doors of the Emperor’s... My building, I remind myself again. 19

I am an Empress now.20