All Alone And Nothing to Do

Katie could feel a soft and gentle hand caressing her neck. She thought it was her lost love. A boy named Josh who had left her a few years back. It felt as if he'd just left a week ago, and she felt the heart ache just as well. She could feel a had with long cool finger tips and a beautifully warm palm. She could just barely feel it now. Katie felt beautiful for the first time in years. She wasn't about to reject that feeling so she allowed this stranger, who she hoped to be Josh, continue to gently touch her neck. Then she opened her eyes to find herself. Only herself. Her feeling of beauty slowly faded as she realized she was never going to have that actually happen to her. It was her own hand groping her neck.1

She was sitting in her favorite spinning chair with her headphones blasting music. Katie hadn't noticed the shades were up in her living room. Kids were outside in the street playing kickball as they usually did. She could feel her face turn bright red with embarrassment. Her beautiful moment...gone to the amusement of the kids outside. Katie had a sense of strong paranoia. The kids were outside running around like chickens with their heads cut off laughing and messing around. But to Katie, they were all laughing at her. The whole world was her audience that saw her every movement, ever waking moment of embarrassment. All  she ever wanted was out of the spotlight of embarrassment.2

Katie met Josh in sixth grade. I guess you could kinda say she was in a life long trance. She knew nothing of friends and all she knew commonsense wise was ,well , nothing. The first month there she was alone. About a month into the school year some new kids began trickling in. She hadn't noticed though because she had no sense of judgment what so ever. Then she saw this kid that came into her gym class, he was one of the new kids. The instant her eyes saw him the trance was broken completely. Although she was just as stupid. He was dressed like a classic punk kid. He wore these shoes Katie had seen before, her brother had them. He wore big jean pants that were obviously ripped up the sides and then Gigantic safety-pinned back together. He wore a white Gumby shirt that had a picture of Gumby and it said something at the bottom that Katie took no notice of. I guess you could kinda say she fell flat on her face in love.3

That day when she went home she looked all around her room searching for clothes she thought might get her noticed by this new kid. The next day she started talking to a couple of kids, Amanda and Brieana (or bananna as she would soon be calling her). She had known an Amanda prior but hadn't seen her for almost a year. She was alone nearly all her life. She had no one aside from who ever it was she clung to for that month before they betrayed her and then lost her as a friend. Althought Katie had done that so many times before she didn't want to do that to them. So insted of constantly following then she would keep a small distance away. 4