forsaken innocence

Walking down the row of accusing faces was the worst feeling in the world. they knew i did it and they all hated me for it. but they don't know anything,how could the story as to why. but i have to tell the story to someone,that's why I'm telling you.
i woke up to the sound of my obnoxious alarm clock, feeling more tired than usual.yesterday was a long day,i was accused for my mothers murder,of corse i was guilty, but no one had to know that.so i was proved innocent at the trial.as i walked down the steps, my grandmother told me, in the most demanding voice, to clean the dishes and make her bed.shes always bitching.if this was a normal situation i wouldn't listen, but i have to, because shes the only one who knows my secret.what really happened I'm afraid if i don't do whatever she said shed turn me in.so i listened.
i got to the bus stop, these two girls Kelsy and Sarah were whispering,looking towards me every couple of seconds. i knew they were talking about me. i looked away, i got angry, my ears turned red and hot, i wanted to say something but i kept quiet because the slightest move, one wrong word, would put me behind bars. i hated this, i just wanted to move,start clean .. but i couldn't turn back now.
science class,my last period.Mr wather thinks hes funny, he cracked a joke about my dead mother .. and that's where i lost it. i got up and threw the desk away from me, i pointed my finger at him "if you ever talk about her again like that,ill kill you,don't think you'll be the first!" i looked back, 5 rows of shocked faces looked at me , staring blankly,jaws open, wide eyes.. then i realized what i just said.i ran out of the classroom and out of the school, i ran home. i felt like i was going crazy, i needed to calm down, but i couldn't. i walked into the door and slammed it shut, my grandmother was screaming at me.. about god knows what,my blood was rushing with adrenalin,yet i felt in a trance.my grandmother wouldn't shut up. so i shut her up myself. i grabbed a loose piece of wood from the frame of her bedroom door and beat her with it, until she gasped her last breath.when i was done, not a spot on the bed was its original color,it was now all red.still in my trance i walked outside and laid across the lawn. my over-sized grey sweatpants, covered in blood, along with my shirt.and before i knew it the cops were here. before i knew it, my life was over.