He caught my gaze, his dark eyes luring. I tried to shut him out,
but I could barely breathe. I knew he was more than human, but I didn't think he would catch on to my suspicions so quickly. Before I could scream or take a breath, he moved his face so close to mine that I could smell his breath, feel its dreadful coldness against my cheeks. 1
I stay still, waiting for death to take me, for his sharp teeth to take a firm grip on my skin, and suck me dry of my life; my blood. I had been so interested in my suspicions, I hadn't even stopped to fear for my own life, but even now...seeing him there, pinning me against the wall in his iron grasp. I still couldn't fear him. I looked into his eyes as cold as night, and blushed. 2
He tightened his grip on me, my affection making him angry. He told me that it wasn't easy for him either, but a vampire could never love a mortal. 3
(Tell Edward that!) 4
He tried to be threatening, really he did, but I knew he could never hurt me. I more feared the rest of his race. 5
Finally his grip loosened, but I remained where I was, feeling comforted by his presence; needed.
He began to growl and his eyes narrowed, he told me to leave before he changed his mind, but as I began to leave, I froze.
We stood in complete silence for what seemed like forever until finally I made my move...6
I walked over, leaned in and my lips met his ice cold ones in a long lingering kiss. My hands slid up the back of his neck coming to his head. He shoved me hard, backing me into the wall, his lips finding their way across my face. . . down my neck. His hands left blazing trails down my back, searching for my hips, stroking my hidden skin.7
I gasped in anticipation when his teeth grazed the hollow of my throat. 8
He was breathing hard. We both were. I pulled his head closer to my neck and with that he knocked me to the ground and backed away, taking off into the dark of night and leaving me staring after him. 9
I craved him like he craved my blood. It couldn't be true, I was in over my head. Could a human and a vampire ever co-exhist... without the death of the other? 10
I knew then and there what I wanted. I wanted to be with him. I NEEDED to be with him. And I would.
Even if I had to die to do it.
Author notes
This is a standard romance cliche: I used options-
9. Vampire and human (no Twilight rip-offs!),
18. Love-hate relationships, and
19. Captor and victim/stalker and prey relationships.
It is Vampire Academy/Twilight Fanfic in the romantic sense. The whole "forbidden love" that is happening and the spotaneous desire.
Contest- Option 3-fanfic for Twilight(please no Edward/Bella crap. i hate those.)
ENJOY!
Hope you like it Hayden!
-Shadow-Kissed mwah!
- Horror Fans group list • next in list
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A contest entry
- Catch of the Clichés by Tiger-Lily.
400 points, ended May 11, 26 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Romance by HaydenLautner.
100 points, ended June 6, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Options Galore! by xMoonlightxDreamsx.
300 points, ended June 17, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Contest by His.Golden.Eyes.
160 points, ended July 9, 37 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
This is an optional Prologue for my book. Let me know what you think.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I loved it!!!!!
It was an amazing prologue. The sentence structure's great, the wording wonderful and...okay, basically, I loved it.
Sorry, I'm just feeling so hyper right now. -
Very sweet...
It did remind me slightly of Twilight, not gonna lie... Good though and I enjoyed reading it. -
Judge's Comment
What fanfiction is this supposed to be, and who are the characters?
My previous comment also still stands. -
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It is Vampire Academy/Twilight Fanfic in the romantic sense. The whole "forbidden love" that is happening and the spotaneous desire.
-Shadow-Kissed (Chantale)
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Nice job. I'm not a Twilight fan but this was a nicely written story! The prologue is the most important part in anyone's writing and you nailed it. Looking forward to more
P.S. Love the username!
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Awsome! Loved it. It left old predictable Twilight for dead. Great job!
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Wow, if you do decide to use it as a prologue, then it's great! It captured my attention right away, then at the end it left me eager for more... Fantastic job.
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Wow!!I loved thi, THIS, is what Twilight should have been like!! It was awesome, I could feel, their passion for eachother, their need to be together. I loved it! Thanks for the entry and good luck
PS: I did love it!!
, are there more chapters?
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I'm working on more for this. My main focus is a continuation for my story Portrait of Madness. I'm trying to do some expanding work on it. Thanks for the comment, you made my day.
-Chantale
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Awesome
This is what I was looking for! You did it! The story of the poem, very well done. And you made it even more detailed. The scene was set almost perfectly. And the way they kissed...I was like "Damn they're going to eat each other." Really, well done. And is there more? If there is I would like to read the rest.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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There is some more I just have not posted it yet. And yeah, I was pretty much going for the whole devouring each other thing. lol I will let you know when I post the rest if you would like.
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I Love stories like this!!
Vampires, oh god please help me find mine! I would totally let myself be bitten by a hot vampire who wanted me around forever.. If you get a chance.... My book, Descent Into Eternity, you may like it so far... Got the first 6 chapters up here.. Again, fantastic work!
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The second para starts off in the present tense again. Careful there!
AAhh, when I said no Twilight ripoffs, I'm afraid that's exactly what I meant. This story reminds me of Bella and her ridiculous maturity of not surviving without her "true love". No offense, I just hate romanticized (to such an extent) vampire stories.
But thanks for entering. It was well-written.
- HT -
So cliche, but so good I would LOVE to read more of this Good writing!!!!!!!!!!1
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wowowowowowowieeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss!!
me likies. i think you should continue this into a short story... or perhaps... A BOOK?!?!! dun, dunn, DUNNN!
very captivating!
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great detail and nice descriptive words tho
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when you tell people not to read it thy're going to. i luv this clappy hands for you!
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wow...
O.o -
I LOVE THIS!!!! This is such an awesome idea! Great opening. I love the way you put the feelings of the girl towards the vampire in a very vivid way! Great ending also.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks. I appreciate your comment.
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