Sleep Tight

The jagged lightning cuts through the dark, night sky. A crash of thunder shakes the earth beneath my feet. I sit on the couch, huddled against the brown pillows. The TV is at full blast, but is still drowned out by the noise of the storm. My mom calls from upstairs:1

"Bedtime, Daniel."2

I inch my way up the stairs, shuddering at every sound. Simultaneous to my cautious inching, the lights shut off, and the darkness engulfs me. My fear doubles.3

The dark is a breeding ground for monsters...4

I slowly feel my way up the rest of the stairs and open my bedroom door. My trusty night light sheds no light.5

"You're ours now," a deep voice laughs from the closet.6

A figure materializes in front of me, floating in mid-air. It's completely white, and it bears an expression that would make even an optimist weep. It floats towards me ominously, arms outstretched. I act fast. I sprint past the specter and leap into bed. Immediately my blankets are pulled over my head. 7

-Safe-8

The apparition moans in displeasure. It has no way to get past my impenetrable defense. It waits above me... for a foot, or even a toe to emerge. 9

Another voice snickers from underneath me.10

There is no way I can tell how much longer the power will be out. I can hear the storm raging outside my window. After several moments full of moans and thunder, I overcome my fear. It's time I acted my age; a seven year old should be braver than this!11

I feel the specters presence behind me and I fling my blankets up over its head. A defense for me is a prison for it. It fights brutally beneath the covers, but dissolves, having no way to escape. I sense the closet monster's scowl, but I sleep peacefully.12

***13

I wait all day, but to no avail. The power is still out. Who will they send this time?14

I enter my room and look about; no ghosts. I suppose they're sending the big guns this time. As I jump into bed, a sharp object brushes my leg. I sit up and feel it to find a few drops of blood. Leaning over my bed I barely see a hand retract back underneath. It can't reach me up here, I think. I try to sleep, but the beast is relentless. It scratches at the bedposts, adding to my growing fear. It's time to take action, and this time I brought a weapon.15

I lean back over the bed and see its fingers flexing in anticipation. I lunge out of my bed to see its hideous mug as I power up the flashlight. It howls menacingly as it is hit full force. Soon, it falls dead and dissipates.16

Triumphantly, I climb back into bed. Soon, though, I see an oddity: my closet door is wide open. Realization flies through my head too late, and I see my blankets are gone. I fumble for the flashlight desperately, but a hairy paw bats it away. The monster of my closet, the leader of the pack, raises a claw to end my life. Just then, a light shines brilliantly. My trusty night light comes to my rescue, catching the monster off guard. It's bombarded by the hated element, and, giving me a defeated glare, it closes its eyes forever.17

I don't think I'll have trouble sleeping anymore.

Go nawal land!

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  • WhatALovelyDay
    June 29, 2008

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    EEEEEeeeeee!! Zomg, that was SOOO scary! *hides under the covers* The monsters are always trying to get me, too >.> I'm soo afraid of the dark v.v and it's especially worse when my closet door is open because then the shapes of the blankets and my sisters toys and stuff look like monsters! And I'm always afraid something under the bed is going to get my feet! Wah >.>
    Lolie, nihehe, good job ^-^; Very realistic O.O
    ♥ Lawliet ♥


    • Sousuke
      June 29, 2008
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      I actually usually can't sleep unless the covers are over my head... safe


  • Noisome.
    June 28, 2008

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    Yeah. THe last sentence does have a tense change. You kept the whole thing in present tense.. so fix that, or I will. And yeah, I agree. It is a little rushed. I don't really understand it..
    It's cute. I like it. I think it'd be really cute if you hold off on saying he's seven until later.. so the reader gets this super brave image and then he's like, "A seven year old always does what they have to do," or something slightly less lame, y'know?

    I can't believe you don't think I'd be brave enough to do this! YOU ARE SO MEAN TO ME. I AM A BRAVE SEVEN YEAR OLD AND YOU KNOW IT! >=O
    MEANIE.


  • Rosen Rot
    June 28, 2008

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    Haha cute ^-^
    I liked this; you really brought your reader into your narrator's world.
    One thing; The final paragraph is a tiny bit rushed... And the last sentence might have a tense change; idk, ask Sarah lol, cause I can't edit for shyte D:
    Anyway, me like.