The Leap Castle Massacre

Mortay Mc'Laughlin danced in her loft with her 3 little sisters keeping beat to the piano being played by her mother, Sabrine. The girls laughed and talked of the latest gossip while moving there feet elegantly to the music. Every eigth beat they would clap their hands and twirl making their movments look like purple and blue birds of prey chasing lone insects through the sky. Mortay's mother ended the song and the girls bowed to eachother, laughing and making fun. "Well my children, I think you will do just fine at the Prince of Ely Ball. My daughters will be the envy of all the young women." announced Madame Sabrine with just a hint of pure pride. The girls smiled then lowered their heads to their mother while heading out of the Drawing Room. A messanger had been called the day before to anounce the Mc'Laughlin family's invitation to the annual ball held by the O'Carroll clan. The O'Carrolls were the most most powerful extended family of princes in Ireland and had built many strongholds and castles throughout the districts of County Clare and Moore. They were also the most wanted in the War for Independence in 1568. They were Chieftains of over 9 surrounding districts and ruled the law for the surrounding castle clans. The young men born to the family were prize husbands. Every family who had an honorable duaghter to be wedded by one of the men, was respected and well taken care of by thier daughter's in-laws. The invitation ment that one of the Mc'Laughlin girls had caught the attention of a young O'Carroll Prince. The girls were excited to see the lovely castle and a little nervous to venture into the 'Bloody Chapel'. An O'Carroll heir, also the family's priest, had been murdered by his own brother in their fight for power of the clan. The murder had even taken place in the chapel while the priest was hosting Mass with the inhabitants of the castle at the time. "Stabbed right as he was saying God's name." some said. There was worse that happened there but the girls could not bring themselves to think of the dungeons and the 'Drop of eternal torture', were the prisoners were pushed in and fell on spikes of iron left there to rot watching the people below them through a small window below leading to the ballroom. Sometimes the imprisoned would live for weeks before infection or dehydration killed them off. Elizibeth exspecially, was distastful of the mideavil prisons. 1

The sisters were just dressing in their midday clothes when Prince Sean rode onto the drawbridge of Dearg Castle. Also known as the castle of Red. The youngest of the servants skipped to the door barefoot and opened it just enough so she could slip out and greet the prince and ask for his coming here. The servant soon returned and delivered the news saying the prince was here to talk to the eldest daughter of Mistress Sabrine. Mortay's cheeks flushed when the statment came up and she rushed to her room to freshen up before her mother introduced her to the royalty now coming through thr great hall. She combed out her dark brown hair and put a very small amount of dark green paint on her top eyelid eluminating her blue eyes. She opened the glass bottle of French purfume and gently dabbed a drop on her finger before rubbing it into her chest just above her breasts. 2

Mortay heard her mother call quietly fromm the drawing room for her. She took her time walking down the hallway. When she arrived at the drawing room curtain, Reis, a maid of her family for 18 years was waiting to open the curtain. Reis bowed her haid, "Mistress Mortay..." announced Reis pulling the curtain and curtsying and moving out of the way for Mortay. 3

Mortay entered the room with the elegance of the best bellydancers of the renesiance charmers. The prince roase to his feet. "Hello Prince, what may I have the honor of your calling?" Mortay greeted politly while doing a small curtesy. Sean smiled and bowed slightly to the young woman. "I have come to conferse." He turned and bowed his head to Sabrine on the bench. "May I speak to your daughter in private, Mistress?" Sabrine looked the youth in the eyes then nodded to him and walked out of the room touching her daughter's shoulder for good luck. Mortay watched her mother leave knowing the prince's eyes were on her then turned once again to meet his gaze. "Well it seems you have grown with a year's passing may I say." Sean remarked with the slightest shake in his voice. "Why your comment flatters me your highness." 4

The Prince was tolorable to look at with his long black hair, green eyes, charming smile, common facial features, and slim built body. His voice was a little scratchy but deep all the same. Sean personality though reeked of self importance and rich snob. Though she had to admit, he had a way with words and treated others fairly enough. He wasn't as spioled as his brothers and sisters. Though asked for many wonderful things only the wealthy could ever dream of having. Mortay would put up with the young man for a small amount of time, in the least he diserved that much. 5

this story is going to be based on my family and places I went to in ireland and real things that happened to real people. right now there may be too much information but I will revise it later...

A contest entry

can you picture the scenes? how was the wording? and time lapsing?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • hannah37
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    it was good.
    i liked it.
    you might want to revise it soon. hehe.
    i can definitely picture these scenes.

  • lilwyane

    good story I don't know how to put pic's on am not a paid memmber
    i think you have to be through


  • Rosemary silver member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply

    Great start

    I think you have a great start to an interesting story. I am more intrigued by it now since you said it was based on your family's history. I hope you keep going with this. To help you along you might want to read a book by Bertrice Small. She has a lot of them and they are all based on historical fiction. Keep writing.


  • becki
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    I like it alot it is really good.... ican definatley picture the scenes, the wordign was perfect!!!!