Chapter 9: Tales of An Unwilling Vampiress

Chapter 91

Flood Gates2

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[[Removed due to copyright issues]]4

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When Alan and I had both reached down, our heads had nearly collided. He’d stared up at me, startled, since he had bent down faster than I had. I’d had a really good close-up of his face. Everything from those shimmering blue eyes to his full lips.6

Right down to the two abnormally-large, razor-sharp canines in his mouth.7

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Next Chapter (please comment first) 9

Author notes

Guys, don't hate me for this. Too much stuff, exams, moving, university starting, etc. Next chapter is faster!

This one is unedited as yet. Any issues you get, please say so. I posted it earlier because I wanted to distract one of my friends from being sad. =)

Also, I'm now legal!!! Oh, story point of view...do you think the characters are fine? Really worried about this, as Emmy is now a tad emotional. I wanted to show she wasn't as cynical as she came off, she does have her Achilles Heel. Do let me know!

-HT

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Comments

1 - 41 of 41

  • simply.me
    August 15
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    this one was amazing too! okay, so she did get a bit emotional really fast, but thats what girls are supposed to do, stereotypically...


  • Elegant Inspirer
    August 10

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    Tiger honestly are you going to make me comment after every freakin chapter. I can't take the time to comment I wanna keep reading. I flippin love this book points to you for trying to get it published.
    Elli


    • Tiger-Lily gold member
      August 10
      Edit | Reply
      Lmao, Eli, screw the comments. Just comment after you're done reading the whole thing, not each chapter, if you wanna. XD


  • Jacki.
    July 24
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    I just love Emmy as a character she's funny and does the best she can.

    <3 the story!!


  • Starfire23
    July 23
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    This was GREAT!

  • Hannahlovestwilight
    July 22

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    your storie is hte best cant beleive he opened his mouth! poor luke does he like her wrrite more more more


  • GPsSnowFox
    July 13

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    geez tiger im usually so good at figuring out what's going to happen next in a story but urs has got me completely stumped...great work


  • Aralinn
    July 5

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    okay well everything fits in now that i have caught up...leave it to me to read the 10th chapter first. Nice chapter, long, but nice. I wish she hadn't said all that about liking someone to Luke, i think he was talking about her. cannoot wait to see the next chatper.

  • Armaan
    July 3

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    Tedious.

    The style is good, and any writer has to be admired for writing as much as you did. However, the sense of mystery that the reader is forced to be kept in gets aggravating. Some things would make a lot more sense, I suppose, if I had read the previous eight chapters, but the I'll-explain-later attitude towards the reader for certain plot point is too stretched out and aggravating. I see this style as something that'll handle things better when everything's out in the open. Plain, obvious and forthcoming. It's a very readable style, fantastically written(my only complaints with the writing structure being in paragraphs 28, and 83-85. They were confusing).
    Lastly, considering the title was so obvious, the story took an aggravatingly long time, with an unextraordinary story(so far) to finally reveal that vampires actually ARE involved.
    The applauds are for the writing style, which I enjoyed.

    . Rewarded 8


  • becki
    July 3

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    that was SOOOOO good - no Awesome. i sat there and read it straight, without blinking. It was sooo amazing!!!!!


  • Kagoshima
    July 3
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    It was still good! I just wish she wasn't like that to Luke. I want her to like Luke.


  • hocochick08
    July 1

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    I didn't see any grammar errors when I read.
    I love the characterization of Skye- I really got a mental image her in this chapter.
    I'm still confused on what actually happened between Raymond and Emalyn. Did he cheat on her? Maybe i'm just slow lol.
    Thats so adorable how Luke asked Emalyn about liking someone.. Luke is def. my favorite character.
    ha! I knew Alan was the vampire.
    Fantastic story. You've got me hooked. I can't wait fot the next in line!

    . Rewarded 8

  • xx-Nicole-xx
    July 1

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    this is my first comment on your story, but i have read the other chapters, and i have to say i love them! your writing give us (the readers) emotion that we can understand and relate to, thank you . your characters are really well described and i have to say i can really picture them!

    Good luck with uni and exams.
    nicole xx

    . Rewarded 6

  • RabidlyGreen
    July 1
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    I'm jealous! This story is really good!
    Hope you post the next chapter soon!


  • Jesus Lizard
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    Eh, I don't like it :]
    Probably because I hate teen drama and vampires.
    However, I do like your writing style, even if Emmy is a bit whiny. Maybe I'd get more of what was going on if I had read the other 8 chapters XD
    But I honestly don't care that much :]
    (Good luck with Uni and exams and such :])

    . Rewarded 6


  • ViaVolleyballchick
    June 30
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    I like it!You did a good job on it!I can't wait to read the next chapt!


  • Tamik
    June 30

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    You are my hero!This story rocks!!!I love the end and how tou described them as
    canines!!!!You have such talent.You should keep writing!

    . Rewarded 4


  • KixiusMaximusArsus silver member
    June 30
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    This story is Awesome i am obsessed!! When r u gonna post the rest of it?


  • smokey76202003
    June 30
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    Great Story

    I like this story alot. My favorite characters is Emmy and Miranda. Keep writing bye.


  • crystalsycamore2
    June 30

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    hey thanks for telling me to check this out! i will def read the other stories in the series so i can catch up =) I genuinely like the way that you write. Congrats and keep it up.

    PS. why don't you like stephenie meyer's characters? =(

    . Rewarded 4


  • Ess
    June 29
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    I love it Gamer!


  • AthenaWisdom
    June 29

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    Ooo, I love this chapter! I love the air of mystery that surrounds Emmy and Luke's relationship. Does Luke like her? Or is it just me? I was pretty sure it wasn't just me

    I was wondering when Alan's "vampire-ness" would come up. Nice entry! It wasn't awkward - I wouldn't have been able to pull that off.

    Good luck and keep writing!


  • dreaminwriter
    June 29

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    hey you asked me to comment again and i can't remeber what i said last time so this one's going to be longer i think.
    I LOVED IT!!! i can't wait for the next part please post it! i don't care if it's unedited im too damn impatient to wait for that! (lol)
    i like that you made emmy more emotional and raymond makes my skin crawl even though i knw he's not real. OOH can't wait. i loved the ending!


  • lutinperi
    June 28

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    hmmmm...... it was jumbled and confusing, emmy seemed really bitter, Alan seems like an ass. But one doesnt expect much from... vampires? Werewolves? It was good, I think I liked it, might need to reread it again to be completely sure. But it was good.

    . Rewarded 6


  • VulnerableLove
    June 28

    Edit | Reply
    that was a really good chapter. You know how discribe things but keep it quick and just the right size. I loved reading it and it was amazing! I loved the “So what?” I know. Oscar-winning dialogue on my part." but other than that it was all really good! Go right more.

    . Rewarded 6

  • Thedamned77
    June 28
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    Oh, I forgot these guys

  • Thedamned77
    June 28

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    The only thing against this I have is that too many mysteries at once confuse the reader instead of enrapturing them. Just be careful of that. Other than that, it was great. Can't wait for chapter 10


  • KorinaAngell
    June 28

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    :]

    I think it was a great chapter. You're doing good and the characters seem fine to me. :]
    Great job so far!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Prim-Rose
    June 27

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    Wow, that was a good chapter. Loved the ending, and think that she really messed it up with Luke. Now I am telling you to write more before I go crazy with wanting to know what's happening!

    . Rewarded 4


  • J0yce
    June 27
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    I like the ideas behind this. However, it seems a little redundant to me. Then again, maybe that was the point because of the setting? Also, have you read Ameila Atwater-Rhodes and/or Stephenie Meyer? I ask because the characters are slightly similar. I do like the development of your characters. Kudos for that. Keep up the good work.

    . Rewarded 6


    • Tiger-Lily gold member
      June 27
      Edit | Reply
      Oh, just wondering, have you read the other chapters of this?

      Um, I despise Meyer's characters. And I've read Hawksong by Atwater-Rhodes, but don't see the similarity.

      Thanks for reading.


  • Ghost of a Siren
    June 27

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    Very exciting, I'm so glad you posted more! It was great, I have nothing negative to say except I wish there was more! lol.


  • RxxSpiritWolfxxJ Moderators member
    June 26

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    {Insert Mysterious Moody Music Here}

    FINALLY!!!!



    Well, this took a little adjusting to, as I havdn't read this series in a long time, see. But, it was well worth the wait.

    Drama, drama, drama and hey, a little more. Gawd, if only my high school life were as exciting. Good to see Emmy back, even if she is sort of an emotional freak. *shakes head* Girls.
    And, thank you for finally introducing the vampire teeth. I was sort of wondering when that was going to pop up - anyway, perfect note on which to end the day. I mean, story.

    I echo another reader's sentiment, what caused the papers to go flying? But nice little humourous quirks you insert here and there. Part of why I like Emmy.



    I'm waiting for the next one! Good job, girl.

    RJ


    • Tiger-Lily gold member
      June 26
      Edit | Reply
      The line where she goes "Can't people see me sitting here" thing. That's when someone knocks into her. I'll reedit it to be more obvious.

      Glad you liked it. Lol. This wasn't as quirky as the rest as my brain failed and Emmy returned to stuff from her past.



      -HT


  • Darkhearted
    June 26
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    the clue surely was put in the best part of the book... why did all the papers go flying????


    • Tiger-Lily gold member
      June 26

      Edit | Reply
      The line where she goes "Can't people see me sitting here" thing. That's when someone knocks into her. I'll reedit it to be more obvious.


  • xxHeartbrokenxx
    June 26
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    dun dun dun!!! that was great tiger!! i loved it! cant wait for mores!!!!!!!!


  • Black Dragon15
    June 26

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    I... You... This... I give up; THERE ARE NO WORDS. The sarcasm (yes, I will mention it in every comment of every chapter), the realism, the way you had my eyes glued to the screen (lucky I keep a spare set when I read your chapters), all of it, was amazing.

    And the way you ended it! My look. Freakin' AMAZING. Only one itsy bit, you didn't put a capital "R" for Ray in the part where she was groaning mentally during her conversation with Luke? Sorry I didn't give you the paragraph number, but there are WAY too many to count.


  • Pandoras-Rose gold member
    June 26

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    Ok so...*screams like I did in the old one* XD

    THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!! I LOVE YOU LUKE!! XD


    This was awesome HT!!!


  • Twilight-Lover
    June 26

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    wow I love this so much. It's well written. The descriptions of the vampire were perfect. I can't wait for more

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