Police sirens were heared from the distance. Everyone circled one area where police men stood guard. I'n the middle of the circle, where the police men was guarding, was a dead man with blood spilling out of his head. The gash looked like he had been waked with an iron pipe. 1
The stank of dried blood hung in the air. Fly's swarmed around the body, like sharks to an open wound. His eyes were pale as the moon, and his skin was whiter than snow. The window to his house, was shattered. After he died someone must of pushed him out, or something. That house was abanded, until one houndred years later.
Author notes
Hehe, this is supposed to be a scary story. It's not finished yet. Hehe, sorry.
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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to yoko
the story was ok
beginning: 1, language: 1, plot: 1, ending: 1, dialog: 1, characters: 1.
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Thankies! It will be rewritten to something a tad bit better. Righ now, it's just a glomp of writing.
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I really liked it and i love how you described everything expecially the dead body so awsome lol I do hope you continue this story
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Thank you. =^^= I tottaly forgot about this story, you know, working my brain off on other things. I'l start working on this a little bit more than I have been doing. Hehe. =^^=
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I liked it and sometimes I misspell words as simple as guard too. Don't worry it was a really good story so far.
You are too a good writer and that is what I say about myself.
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Thanks for the kind words.
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LOL WUT?
Spell check?
Basic sentence structure?
....Any kind of grammar at all? -
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This was just something placed together at the last minute. Just wanted to see if people would read it, and if they are interested, I'ld turn this into a great story. Lol.
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some spelling mistakes, like Gaurd---->guard, typo, and i think the guy would have to be killed very soon, for blood to still gush out of his head.....???, it has that suspense feel....COOL
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Thank you for the help.
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ausom
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