Disarticulation

pelting downhill
hear gasping hitching breath
smell fear
running, running
jump a pile of garbage bags
he stumbles
land on his back
grasp his shoulder
shred his jacket from his back
fall with a crash
rolling
back on my feet, throw myself on his back again
before he can rise
pressing down, forcing
my gloves creak
knife snug in my hand
draw it along the back of his head
shave the skin from his forehead
ten arcing lines
all the way down his spine
deep incisions on both sides
one between each pair of ribs
a great circle cut from the belly and removed
like a cookie-cutter
bury his head in his own organs
drown him in his own offal
disarticulate his knees
pull him
apart!1

anyone else feel like long pork chow mein?2

time, time, time
sick of waiting
so many everywhere
so many proven guilty
why can't I?

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Naive.
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love how this is written. I've never felt so much suspense in such few words. It's odd (but in a good way) how there weren't a lot of words, but I never felt that the descriptions were lacking. I enjoyed reading about the killing, because the way you described it made it seem like an art form. And I enjoyed your sense of humor ("anyone else feel like long pork chow mein?"). Amazing job.

    Thanks for entering and good luck! =]

    -jj


  • SkyScorcher
    June 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    great hook

    very intresting. you keeped the tension going till it got to the highest. i like that. very well written.