Chapter 27: FarewellDance

“Ssshh- calm yourself,” Spirit whispered tenderly as he gently stroked a 1

palm across my hair, “Calm yourself sweet Kara….”2

I refused to calm myself for I could not- Spirit knew that as well, yet 3

somehow saying those words aloud had the potential of helping. This was 4

the end now; my mind still remained blurry from the moment- all I could 5

understand was that I was soaked in the dead man’s crimson liquid of 6

life that had once pulsed through him.7

“He took his own life in the end,” Spirit whispered into my hair. “You 8

only happened to be holding the blade. He chose to end his time here and 9

you were simply in the most unfortunate of places where the situation 10

occurred; he wanted to twist your thoughts and warp them into something 11

that would be to his advantage- but you must remember that he lies…”12

I peeked out from my hiding place for a breath to glance back at the 13

former battlefield, for Spirit and I had taken refuge in a tree’s 14

protective branches for the battle’s remainder. After discovering their 15

leader’s body the Gaels retreated with their fallen commander, giving 16

the mummers the chance to cheer. Thus began the process of salvaging 17

what could be saved, of treating the wounded…and burying the dead.18

“We came here after you- you and the two others…Burton refused to play 19

and Afton would not put on any more shows until we had rescued you,” 20

Spirit’s explanation was simple yet heartfelt, “We were not willing to 21

see another one of our friends hurt- Burton and I…”22

All of this happened because of me. If I had not followed Kael- if I had 23

never gone to Carrickfergus or met Brett…if I had not been such an 24

interest to Dolan we may have not been there at the incorrect time. I 25

may not have ever killed Dolan. The “what ifs” echoed through my brain, 26

only confirming my fault in this…27

“You did not cause anyone’s death Kara,” he consoled, again knowing my 28

thoughts without the primitive usage of speech, “All of us fought- and 29

killed- of our own free well. Dolan is dead and you are still alive- 30

that is all we care about Kara, that you are back to live among us in 31

peace.”32

That must have been the truth, for Spirit was not one to lie. However I 33

found myself repeating the concept through my mind and questioning its 34

validity. I would have to make it true for the sake of my sanity.35

“You triumphed before over this- I know that it is in you to do so 36

again.” Spirit concluded.37

He detached himself from me and slid out of the tree to aid the others 38

with all of the items that needed to be done. I stared up through the 39

leaves for a few moments, completely alone. I had thought that I would 40

end the cycle- I thought that I could destroy the source of the entire 41

universe’s problems and make everything alright. At least that had been 42

what I thought- what I had told myself.43

Yet Dolan’s death did not solve any issue. It couldn’t- I knew that now. 44

No others means existed, for Keitha was gone forever and the invaders 45

had conquered the Faeries lands for all time. I could not win like this. 46

At least, I snuck a glance at the nearby mummers who were packing their 47

wagons for the impending departure- at least I still had them, my new 48

family. 49

“Kara!” Brianne’s voice echoed through the trees, “We are almost ready 50

to leave- you may want to get down to the wagon before we leave without 51

you!”52

I slid out of the tree, put on a smile and stepped quietly after her. I 53

pushed Dolan out of my mind’s hub as I climbed into the back of Afton’s 54

wagon, crushing it into a tiny ball of nothingness. Oddly enough I felt 55

cleansed as I slowly rubbed away the blood that stained me; the crimson 56

refused to linger.57

I continuously examined my hands to be certain that I all traces of red 58

had been washed away. I was purely clean and perfect- cleansed of 59

Dolan’s death.60

Outside of the wagon I heard the sound of Burton giving his trademark 61

violin signal and the planks beneath me lurched. We were on the road 62

again just as before- back on the road to find our pathway to the next 63

destination. I pulled out Meara’s journal and calmly fell into reading 64

it by the tune of Burton’s glorious music.65

~66

It was not a long time before Burton’s music pulled me in and I found 67

myself dancing with the children as I used to Before. The adult mummers 68

regarded me with slight smiles even though we both knew that there was 69

still something missing in all of the joviality. I was completely taken 70

in by the dance as I had always been, the wound had healed yet it was 71

still wrapped in thick tenderness. With only a miniscule scratch I 72

risked breaking its careful scab. 73

Despite that I managed to put on a smile for the brightly clad mummer 74

children about me. I was always eager to fall back into this way of life 75

and the joy that existed inside of it. As I whirled I watched my friends 76

fade; Burton played with more soul than ever- full of complete 77

dedication for his departed Keitha. Spirit clapped along with the beat 78

in a full bloom of smiles while Afton continued to press on forward 79

towards the next destination. The only things that I did not enjoy were 80

Kael’s frequent talks with Fiona.81

It seemed that every moment I glanced in his direction Kael was leaning 82

in close to the winged one and whispering private words; Fiona would 83

answer in a similar manner, fueling the jealous inferno in my heart. He 84

had never completely explained his connection to Fiona and it was no 85

help that he ignored me in favor of her. Kael had become the only one 86

about who wore an expression of sadness across his lips and I worried 87

for him. For while the remainder of the world was celebrating he seemed 88

to be fighting inside of his own mind; Fiona’s words troubled him into 89

wrinkles of worry yet gave her reasons to use even more wicked grins 90

when glancing at me.91

Not once did either of them bother to look at me even though I appeared 92

to be a central topic of conversation- or it could be something as 93

innocent as the weather. Curiosity ate at me with annoyance that refused 94

to go away. I had to know what kept Kael from sleeping so much, yet 95

dared to not go near him when he was in the grasp of the Angel that I 96

had pulled out of the River.97

Unfortunately the opportunity did not come until after we had stopped 98

for the night. The camp had gone quiet then, thus I crept from my 99

blankets in Afton’s wagon to find Kael and demand answers.100

I stumbled over sleeping bodies in the dark, careful not to wake any of 101

them as I felt my way with only my fingertips in the cold dirt, half 102

certain of where I was going. I arrived at the last place that I had 103

seen Kael spreading out his blankets and reached towards the supposed 104

position of his head to wake him…105

He wasn’t there.106

I frantically broke my stealth and dug both of my hands into the 107

blankets which only confirmed my fear: there was nothing- absolutely 108

nothing left, not even the tiniest hint of body warmth lingering behind. 109

He had never crawled into those blankets that night. I reached nearby to 110

find that Fiona’s sleeping space yielded similar results. They were out 111

in the forest- together. 112

As my fingers dragged through the dirt they discovered pairs of grooves 113

freshly cut into the mud heading in the direction of the trees. My eyes 114

had adjusted to the lesser light of night by then and I saw the outline 115

of a pathway that had been worn into the ground.116

It led me out of camp and down the soft bank of a nearby lake, 117

glistening with the silver gales of moonlight that illuminated the azure 118

waves lapping up against the bank. The lakes itself was perhaps better 119

called a pond....120

Movement from the trees drew my eye and threw me into hiding. I watched 121

as the silver rimmed form of the winged woman stepped out into the 122

crystal waters, disturbing the mirror surface just enough to send out 123

tiny ripples of her own making. She stopped in the water’s center, knee-124

deep in the cleansing waves.125

Then, gracefully and almost beautifully in the moonlight she touched the 126

tip of her wing to the water’s glass surface, dragging the feather’s 127

edge in the element to send even greater amounts of ripples throughout 128

the body of calmness.129

She began to spin, churning up water with her wingtips about her; the 130

perfect placidity of the lake had been broken. As she whirled the water 131

became whirlwinds of torrential power and slowly, oh so slowly, the 132

water began to bear her upward- higher and higher into the blanket of 133

the stars she rose. The water held her until she was a few body lengths 134

above the trees before letting go.135

The Angel was off then, flapping her wings openly and flying upwards- 136

always upwards- towards the sky. Fiona’s last words drifted down into 137

the lake as the final hint of gold glistened off of her feathers:138

“Come on Kael: it’s time.”139

Enter Kael from the trees’ edge. Even in the faint light I easily traced 140

his pained expression of both emotional and physical agony clearly. He 141

took one step into the water and my feet moved of their own doing. They 142

carried me towards him as my numb brain decided to open an eye to what 143

was occurring. I refused to even allow myself to think such a thing for 144

that would allow it to be true. 145

Kael slipped his tunic over his head and tossed it back onto the mossy 146

bank before fastening his sword about his hips- it was the only 147

remaining item from when I had first discovered him. Aside from all of 148

that my eyes found themselves latched to his newly exposed back- it was 149

wrapped in tightly fitting bandages covering feathers that insisted upon 150

protruding from the sides as they grew from his truly angelic bones. 151

That explained the pain that he had been fighting back in recent times.152

Kael’s fingers found the edge of the bandages and yanked them just 153

enough to set his imprisoned wings free. The medical tape fell away to 154

free his true essence to the world; his wings fell fully open behind him-155

big and white and beautiful. Even their flawlessness in the pale 156

moonlight would put Fiona’s feathers to shame. His transformation back 157

to the from of an Angel was complete.158

“Kael!” I finally found my throat and plodded through the water towards 159

him, “KAEL!”160

“Kara,” his lips barely parted to give the word life.161

“Kael,” I wrapped my arms around him and clung to his chest, letting my 162

tears wash over him.163

“I’m so sorry Kara. I just…I didn’t want to hurt you any deeper that I 164

had to. Farewells can just…” he cleared his throat to keep back 165

sobs, “It is only that saying goodbye can be so full of pain…and regret. 166

But I have to go Kara.”167

I gazed up into his eyes. They held tiny crystals on the edges that 168

waited to spill over with emotion. I nearly wished that he would fully 169

cry so that I could be certain that he did not want to leave me.170

“I’ll die if I stay here any longer Kara, and I don’t want,” a slight 171

smile echoed on his face as he wiped the beginnings of tears away, “I 172

don’t want to see you cry. My remaining here would harm Spirit more that 173

you would think- I know how close you are to him and I don’t want to 174

hurt him. I am Spirit, Kara. I am a mirror of Spirit while Fiona is a 175

mirror of Keitha. Mirrors cannot exist together; only one image can 176

exist on each side. I’m sorry…” he held me a bit longer before 177

whispering into my ear, “that I will never be able to dance with you 178

again…”179

Tears returned completely to dominate my face- Kael was the best dancing 180

partner that I had ever known…181

“Go back home Kara- go home and be happy with the people of your town. I 182

know that there you can be safe. I will…I will miss you greatly,” he 183

gently kissed my forehead before glancing down into my eyes, “And I love 184

you.”185

That was when he let go of me and walked to the swirling vortex of water 186

that Fiona had left behind. I clung to his hand, refusing to let go for 187

wherever he was going, I was going with him.188

Kael turned to smile down at me as he began his ascent into the air, 189

touching my fingers gently. Our eyes locked- I couldn’t let him go.190

“I’m sorry,” he repeated just above a whisper, “But you cannot come with 191

me- it would only hurt you.”192

The world fell into a series of slowing flickers running across my mind. 193

Kael supportively smiling to mask his sadness, gazing down at me as the 194

gap between us widened. I wasn’t going to let him go.195

But our fingers parted.196

They were pulled apart by the sheer force of the water’s wind that 197

propelled Kael upwards. He eventually reached the trees’ highest tip and 198

turned to the moon as Fiona had done. I watched him fly away with my 199

fingers still outstretched to find him. I kept my eyes locked on his 200

flying form until long after the final glint of light reflecting off of 201

his sword disappearing into the darkness.202

I dropped all of my weight and fell into the now calm water to allow the 203

tears to flow. Why hadn’t I said it? I had not given him that last 204

reassurance- that one final instant of joy- I hadn’t told him, one last 205

time, that I loved him.206

~207

I don’t remember walking back to the camp- even though I somehow found 208

myself back there, rummaging through my secret bundle. I had lost 209

control of myself- it felt that another was controlling my body and 210

forcing me to do as they pleased- but I let them. I almost wanted them 211

to so that I could not be held responsible for my actions.212

My body crept out into the night keeping my fragile mind occupied with 213

the reason behind all of this. Kael had spoken of mirrors that could not 214

exist in the same world together- and that he was Spirit’s mirror. So 215

perhaps- perhaps if Spirit did not exist in this world…Kael could. 216

Perhaps…my eyes glanced at the dagger that I now found myself carrying- 217

perhaps if I killed Spirit, Kael could stay here with me.218

Yes- it would be killing but I would be bringing Kael back wouldn’t I? 219

This was alright- yes. There was no other means- I could only have Kael 220

back if Spirit was dead. And there was only one manner that I knew of to 221

be certain that he would be dead…222

I slipped inside the flap of the wagon that he had chosen to sleep in 223

that night, my weapon catching glimpses of light from the moon. I fixed 224

my pupils upon my target- let the remainder of the world fall away 225

beside myself and my victim. Not Spirit my good friend, but the man who 226

was standing in the way of my happiness.227

I raised my blade into the pale moonlight, poised to take its first 228

plunge. I tightened my grip on the weapon, attempting to convince myself 229

once again that this was right. This was the only remaining possibility 230

for bringing Kael back but- my body broke before coming back to me. Yet- 231

how could I live with myself if I went through with this? Memories and 232

thoughts of Spirit- how he had always understood me without having to 233

use speech; he was so full of wisdom and kindness- so much of a friend.234

I couldn’t…235

I could not make myself…236

The dagger fell from my fingers and landed with a loud clang on the 237

floor. I covered my already-glistening eyes and let the tears flow with 238

the pure shame of what I would have done. I still could not understand 239

fully throughout my mind- I would have killed Spirit- I would have 240

killed him!241

As my tears came, Spirit stirred. He quickly bolted up and stared flat 242

into my tear-stained face. As always, speech wasn’t needed. His eyes 243

held sorrow and comfort for me as they always had. Spirit wrapped his 244

arms around me gently, already whispering words of comfort and 245

friendship into my trembling ears. Now that I had lost both Keitha and 246

Kael Spirit was all that remained for me.247

He held me as I sobbed, coaxing intelligible words from my mouth.248

“I don’t understand anything anymore…” I managed to speak through my 249

tears, “the world has become insanity. It doesn’t make any sense. And I 250

can’t…I can’t stay here anymore- everything reeks too much of memory. I 251

can’t go home either- how could I? I don’t have anywhere to go Spirit- 252

I’m all alone now,” I dissolved into sorrow.253

“You are not Kara,” he reassured me, gently stroking my hair, “No matter 254

where you go you can make a home for yourself there- for home is where 255

you make it.” A thought struck him:256

“Perhaps you should return to the land of your birth, for it seems that 257

the people there may need your newly learned wisdoms.”258