Torture on a Poor Little Child

He's coming down the hall. I run quickly into my "room" hiding from the danger that's coming. He doesn't know that I'm home yet. Thank God. If he knew, he would kill me.1

I run into the closet when he just put his foot in my "room". The door is slightly opened to where I can see through the cracks. I try to be quiet as can be while he pulls down his pants and goes to sit on the pot. I hold my breath tightly because it's the littlest sounds he can hear, and everything will be over.2

When he finally gets out of the bath room, I let out my breath in a sign of relief, but shhhhhh..... not too loudly, he may hear.
I go out of the closet and lay on the ground where I have slept most of my life.3

Then my sister, Lee-ah, comes into the bathroom, seeing me and gasps, then she runs and tells Daddy that I'm home. 4

It is five'o'clock, and I should be making dinner by now. My Daddy comes stamping in the bathroom, yelling at me, saying," Shouldn't you be making dinner right now?"5

I try my hardest not to cry, he has me by the hair and ears and pulls me close to him, to smell the scent I dreadly hate. He then pulls me by the feet and throws me into the kitchen. I barely hit the refrigerator thanking God that I didn't. (It was the least I needed, more bruises and broken bones.)6

I pull out all the materials I need, to make dinner for tonight. I'm suppose to make hamburgers, hot-dogs, ribs, corn, beans, and rice. Plus dessert for after dinner. By the time I'm done cooking, it is seven'o'clock. I then serve my Daddy and sister and I rush out of the kitchen to clean the house by 7:30. I panic because I only have thirty minutes to clean the house. Punishment will be extremely severe because I made him angry already once today, he is drunk, as usual, and today is his birthday.7

I am then called by my Dad to serve him dessert and to sing "Happy Birthday". By the time I served and sang, and cleaned the kitchen, it was already 7:30. I was too late. I ran into my room locking the door right behind me. Afraid to death wondering whats going to happen next. I hear a loud bang on the door and start crying. I know that tonight is my last day....

Author notes

Idea: Being tortured

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Much-Dipstick
    August 27, 2008

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    I thought this was pretty good. It started very well, and I really liked it. Perhaps more detail on the ending? Sort of went a bit too quickly... Anyway, very nice style; fluid and easy to read. . Keep it up, I really did enjoy this. And there was a nice use of vocabulary in it. I didn't like the sound of the little sister, she sounded bratty and spoiled. I'd ahve liked more detail on why she didn't do anything, why she was the favourite (if this was the case. it sounded as though it was). Anyway, great, keep it up !


  • alreadyloveuforever
    July 24, 2008
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    not long enough for me but it was a good try, good luck


  • Darkhearted
    July 19, 2008

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    didn't engage me sorry... but good idea...
    still one more judge to decide ur fate.

    good luck,
    chey-bear

  • GeffMary
    June 29, 2008
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    this is a fabulous story

  • VampPrincess182
    June 28, 2008
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    it was good but went way to quick to the end


  • disturbeddudet76
    June 24, 2008
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    wow i think that's amazing.i like a lot


  • Reaver Greeters member
    June 24, 2008

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    Well done

    This was sad, and read much like a final journal entry. I would have liked more detail, but i enjoyed the story. Gave off the vibe of scared and alone. I wonder if the child is a boy or girl? Or really if that even matters in regard to the story, just wondered. Another question that came to me is why wasn't the sister scared? And why did she sing 'happy birthday'? Very well done, was written well grammatically and flowed nicely. In 2, its should be it's. Thanks for entering. i enjoyed this!

    • Ladybug3151
      June 24, 2008
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      Well, thank you. :-) The sister (Lee-ah) was treated better than her sister. She was the favorited one.(The father wasn't mean to her.) She sang 'happy birthday' because it was her father's Birthday.

1 - 8 of 8