Last Minute Regrets

Lily silently shut and locked her bathroom door. A few months ago, she would have been scared, nervous at least. But she forced herself to get used to it. To laugh in sight of her actions.1

Slowly she stepped towards the bathroom mirror. Her dead and decaying self stared back at her with non-recognizable eyes. Suddenly her heart blazed with hatred for this reflection. This rejected image of hers. She raised her fist to kill it but doing that wouldn’t mean a thing. It would only come back to laugh at her, to jeer at her failed dreams. What she was about to do will not only get rid of it but end it all.2

Opening a drawer, she pulled out a razor. Its blade shown lovingly in the light. So happy. So care free. It reminded Lily of when she was little. When she used to sit there and watch the Lion King. Hakuna Matata. No worries. That’s what the razor blade was promising her. A life without Populars to rule your status, no more parents yelling at you for each mistake, and no more catching Bryan cheating on you with other girls.3

But as the razor blade glinted once more, she froze. She dropped the razor and scratched her face with black painted nails. Lily looked once more at her reflection in the mirror once more. It wasn’t what she wanted! No, it was never what she wanted! She wracked her hair over her face. “I wish I was me again!” Lily shouted. She wanted to be the straight A student, the one who didn’t care about what other people thought. She wanted to go back to who she was before high school. 4

As she shook her head from side to side, she caught sight of her reflection again. Her eyes settle from being hysteric to going back to their blankness again. No. It’s too late for changes. After all she’s been through just to go to rehab? No way.5

She picked up the razor which had fallen into the sink. Pressing the sharp end to her right wrist she finally took the first slice. As she continued to slice, her ears grew deaf to the poundings and pleadings of her parents outside the door. When she ran out of room for shallow cuts on her right wrist, she switched to the left wrist, going for the deeper cuts now. By now she was completely numb. In complete paradise. Too busy with the pleasure, she didn’t notice falling down. Rapidly losing consciousness, her mind triggered back to normal Lily as she spent her final moments in loneliness.