Wounded or Blind?

You know how they say that all wounds heal with time? They say that over time everything, no matter how terrible, feels less and less like a burden to be carried around on a daily basis. But there must be a reason why they say ‘all wounds’ instead of specifying which kind, mustn’t there? They couldn’t have said ‘wounds of a personal, heartfelt tragedy disappear over time’ because they know that it’s not true. 1

Things like that don’t just dissolve into thin air because they are bigger than air, bigger than life, even. That is because life goes on no matter what, and surprises can be expected, well, as much as any surprise can be. But pain is a different kind of surprise that cannot be anticipated. It lurks behind dark street corners you try to avoid on your way home, and on your way to safety. And this hurt jumps out at you at the worst possible time, caused by the most unlikely people. 2

It’s almost as if everyday we are living in a large box, where everything we know and are familiar with exists. There is enough happiness and sunshine for everyone, even at night. But then one day, someone comes along and says to you, “Hey, did you know that you’ve been living in a box?” And then you start realizing that everything that you thought you knew was actually completely foreign territory because all of the explanations you’ve ever given for something, and all the reasons you’ve given yourself for being around at all suddenly just don’t fit together. 3

You had to believe there was more out there than four walls slowly closing in. That hope, no matter how little of it you had, was the last puzzle piece needed to put together the mystery of life. But that puzzle piece was nothing more than a figment of your imagination, something you wanted to desperately to believe that it actually came to be. And that person, that single being, just had to come along and prove to you that there really wasn’t hope or sense out there. They had to tell you that it was just words and thoughts and feelings, thrown into the sky and jumbled together until someone tried to figure it out.4

The question is, though, is it better to have that person walk in and ruin your paradise or to have him watch from the sidelines, saying nothing while laughing quietly at your stupidity? You see, while so many people strive to know everything there is to know, they often regret the knowledge they gain because it injures them. It makes them question things they were so sure of that they were ready to put their lives on the line to prove it. 5

But if the person had not known, they would also be missing so many things that were staring them in the face. They wouldn’t see the signs because they’d have been blinded by their own completely preposterous discoveries that could never lead anywhere because one arrow on the map would always be pointing in the opposite direction.6

Although Fate chooses which road is taken, one must still think of the possibilities of the other path. What if it hadn’t happened? What if you had, or hadn’t known? Is it better to live in a box and believe in infinite possibilities or to live in a box and know that there is no up or down beyond a certain point, just a wall? 7

Pain is hard to move past and impossible to forget. And while you may wish you had never felt it, it may have been for the best. Because after all, life would never present you with a burden too heavy to carry or a wound that would never heal.