Love doesnt deserve you r trust

Lost in a profound environment;1

a land seeped with memories and ghosts2

the flickering shadows of my past3

Different blurs come and pass4

as the mystery is still yet to be solved5

how i became this monster6

tearing itself apart with the razor of your unforgiving love7

Pain stirs within myself; this was harder than it seemed8

and it seemed pretty hard in the first place.9

The detached hurt swirls in my stomach10

as a dark ocean swelling in the storm11

The wind howls in the distance, sending the coldest 12

chills down the spine of my back.13

as your kisses create shivers, cause goosebumps to rise14

in their wake15

My hair stands on end, too, as the kiss becomes so real, it is surreal16

your lips crawling down my bare neck17

baby, where i am i? 18

besides lying in your arms, 19

lieing in your arms.20

What I say shocks you; I can see in your face, there is no reason to explain the current feeling21

You take my arm and try to explain, anyways22

no matter what happens, there's no going back23

and regret is just another way of saying24

i'm sorry you found out, sweetie25

next time you wont hear about it, i promise26

not necisarily that you wont do it again27

that i wont do it again28

For really, all I want is to be with you, and you only.29

but its no surprise to me30

'cause after all, 31

i am my own worst enemy 32

sabotaguing myself into this chemical romance33

of stabbed hearts and bleeding roses34

Did you not know that nature could contain all of this?35

Well, it can, so suck it up and enjoy it while it is here.36

cause we're all temporary and 37

only death is permenant in this game of life38

we're both pawns, baby39

Just sitting on a chess board, 40

waiting to be crashed by the stronger enemy on the other team.41

or maybe there is no other team42

and we put ourselves out43

only to push ourselves down 44

eternally battling a war with that person inside ourselves45

Then we soon open our eyes and relize what had overcome us;46

Stunned, we look around, bewildered at our new discovery,47

for what is soon to come is still not discovered.48

and we may not like what is to be known49

but hey, it probably needs to be known50

and we cant really help it.51

sweetie, your skin tastes bitter... like the peeled skin of an apple52

and just like that, youre hollow underneath that shell53

and as I open up that shell, I am completely shocked at what I find:54

an uncaring thing --> A thing called unconcern55

I never thought that life would be so difficult with that thought lingering in my mind 56

of the apathy you carry within57

like the plain grey sky over the clouded surface of a mirror58

i no longer know myself59

because i no longer know you60

or what your past was; maybe it was just a illusion... 61

Am I truly in a long, constant dream? Or am I in a living hell?62

life is just a percepted reality, and really does it matter63

when everything is the element of a nightmare?64

When everything gets into a tangled mess;65

sometimes I stop to wonder -> Am I the only one out there?66

perhaps everyone else is just an illusion,67

even you, a mirage in a desert of hate and burning stares68

could you be just as fake as the others69

trust is such a complicated gift, and 70

its usually traded in for a newer, shinier toy anyway71

everything today reminds me of the gash72

where i was stabbed in the back73

and every corner I turn there seems to be somebody getting used or hurt.74

or, ever more often, i find myself staring back from around the alley corner,75

crying the tears of pain and filled with knowledge of misplaced trust76

each drop shattering on the ground and cutting the skin of my soul 77

baby, youre reflection is in those pools of blood78

eyes looking past me into the distance79

of paper flowers and glitter rain80

You really don't understand me very well, do you? 81

Well hear me out, because if you truly don't uderstand, and even if you are with me or a thousand miles away, you will never get me.82

because i love you too much for my own good83

so thats the reason i have to look away