Both taps were running, clear water slowly rising to cover the sore, worn hands that rested lightly in the sink.1
For two hours now Jack had been fighting, the sign of his coming victory clearly visible in his red shriviled hands. Creeping, crawling, infecting, that's how he thought of his hidden enemy, always waiting to catch him unawares. 2
He chuckled softly to himself.3
He knew what they wanted, and they weren't going to get it!4
Cupping water in hand he proceeded to baptise both taps, then smiled, his reflection in the mirror showing a young man with wavy black hair, a triumphant set to his face.5
The last ritual was performed, soon he could relax.6
In the sink, out, hands dried on t-shirt, palms first then backs of hands.7
In the sink again, out again, hands dried on t-shirt, palms first then backs of hands.8
Stop!9
Grinning, Jack looked down. Parched, dry and sriveled they were. Sore also, but that didnt matter, they were CLEAN.10
Taking a deep breath, Jack forced himself to relax.11
The sound of voices reached him from down stairs. The minds linked to those voices didnt understand. They thought he was ill, OCD is what they called it, but Jack knew better.12
The only way he could protect those he loved from the deadly parasites that were always waiting was to stay vigilant, and if a little pain and discomfort were the price to pay,13
he would pay it gladly.14
Author notes
OCD, (Obsessive compulsive disorder)
A contest entry
- The Girl Next Door by Taylor Renee.
350 points, ended July 16, 2008, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Manic Psychotics by Reaver.
200 points, ended June 24, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Disorders by NightTime-Fox.
100 points, ended July 6, 2008, 4 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - mEnTaL kAlEiDoScOpE {W/i/t/h O/p/t/i/o/n/s} by Be.Your.Own.Hero.
550 points, ended December 3, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
MY FIRST TIME WRITING SOMETHING LIKE THIS, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Interesting...
OEMGEE TAYLOR COMMENTED BEFORE ME! OEMGEEE YAAAY!
Oh wait...*ahem* Yes, as I was typing...
Wow, this was a nice, short, interesting read. I think it was very original. I haven't really learned much about OCD, so it was nice to read something about it. This was very enticing and well detailed, it kept me hooked and made me think. Great work! Keep it up!
Good luck!
~*Princess*~
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Good job. I like this.
You wrote it pretty well, and the plot's definitely interesting.
Thank you so much for entering my contest, and I wish you the absolute best of luck!
xoxo
-♥-
Tay
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Okay...
Why is it every time someone mentions OCD the FIRST thing to go through everyone's mind is always handwashing? That's odd... But anyway, you did really great with this. I was kind of wondering why OCD was not on the list. I have it, and it is, in my opinion, the worst mental condition anyone could possibly have. It makes the person worry a lot about the other ones, too. Actually, OCD sufferers worry about everything. I am so glad someone chose to do this topic, even if it wasn't on the list! (It's probably the only one I am going to read) Hahaha. Nice work! And pretty accurate.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I am not sure about this one... This disorder was not on the list I gave... I will think about letting it stay
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Stay?
Oh, you should let it stay! I have OCD and I was wondering why it was not on there. Lol!
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Very interesting portrayal of OCD. You caught the reasoning of Jack beautifully. He became a real person to me and engaged my sympathy.
Lis.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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----Bravo!----
Haha! Do you know me? This sounded just like me! Sad as that is! However, I would NEVER dry my hands on my shirt! YUCK! Defeats the purpose to me.
Very well described and structured. OCD was a perfect choice, cause I related. Thought I don’t have that per say, I am a total phobe about germs. Again, sounded like me and I could relate. So Brilliant! Very well done!
P2 unawares/ unaware
P10 sriveled/ shriveled .. didnt/ didn’t.
Again, Perfect Job!~ I loved it!
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It was good, showed the symptoms of OCD very well! Not that I know anything about OCD.
Very well written - good job!
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THANKS
Thank you for your comments, they say you learn something new everyday (cliché, I know)
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This is interesting. With OCD would they really wipe their hands on their shirt? It would feel more real to me if they had gotten a freshly laundered towel out. One that hadn't been used by someone else yet. But that is my humble opinion. I really don't know much about OCD.
Brooke
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Good description...Good job!
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