"Mark?" Jade asked, though she was positive that the boy standing in front of her was Mark. He was a couple years older than when she had seen him last, but he looked pretty much the same. The same half-long brownish hair and the denim jacket. The same smile, with the same dimples. She ran towards him, arms open, and they embraced. His grip on her was firm, as if he never wanted them to part again. Her lips on his cheek were sweet, and signaled the same.1
"How long has it been?" He asked, although he knew nothing better than the answer.
"Four years now" she said, "four years... Where did you go?"
"You know where I went" he replied, and she knew, she did, but she wanted to hear it from him.
"I missed you so very much" she said, starting to cry.
"I missed you too Jade, I missed you every single moment since that day" he said, embracing her with his most gentle touch.2
"What have you been doing these last four years?" Mark asked her.
"Not very much... I've thought of you alot though" she answered truthfully.
"I know, I've been watching over you" he said.
"I knew that, I've always known that... But I'm glad you told me" she said, kissing his cheek again.3
*4
"Your daughter seemed to wake up for a minute last night" the doctor told the sad man and woman in front of him. Their faces brightened at once.
"Did she wake up, is she okey?" the father asked.
"Sir, I'm so sorry sir, she seemed to wake up... But she didn't... She only spoke" the doctor explained.
"what did she say?" the mother demanded to know.
"Only a name... Mark... does that mean anything to you?" the doctor asked.
Tears instantly started streaming down the mothers face.
"It, it was a friend of Jades... He died a couple of years ago in a car accident" the father said.
"He was her first and only boyfriend" the mother explained, tears still rolling down her face.
"I'm so sorry, but I just wanted you to know... It was the last thing your daughter said."5
*6
"You're not going away again, are you Mark?" Jade asked.
"Nope, we're going to stay right here, forever, if you'd like" he answered.
"I'd like that" she said, "I'd like that"
Author notes
A really short story that I just wanted to write all day =)
A contest entry
- Short Stories! by Peachy.
450 points, ended June 21, 2008, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Quick Quickies: Shorties by tallblondie.
210 points, ended July 8, 2008, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short-short Story Contest! Any genre welcome! by amanda vampiress.
475 points, ended August 10, 60 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This was really well written. I enjoyed reading your tragic story. You took a very cliched subject and made it your own. The descriptions were there but this story had more emotion. Your choice of word usage was spot on which helped to enrich your story even more. Thank you for entering my contest. I really enjoyed reading this piece of writing and good luck in the contest!
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I didn't expect that. The beginning was wonderfully careful about not letting the reader know, but dropping careful clues. Something about their conversation felt off, as if there is more - and there was more!
Lovely twist. Expressive and poignant. Cheers for the read! -
ahhhh now this was a good read! trekkergirl
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This is...amazing. Very moving. I have NEVER read anything that does this sort of thing so well. Thank you for writing.
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Awwwwwwwww!!!!
This is sooooo sweet.
Very short but sweet. Exactly what I'm looking for!
Screen name in AN please.
Thank you and good luck!
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Mads... it sent chills down my spine.
Maybe it's because I heard so many stories about people who've had loved ones die, and they say that the dying ones often mention names of the departed. (Also, I was reading a book of famous last words.. a number of them were similar to greetings or hellos).
This is sweet.. and yet, not (For the parents). Then again, who knows what life is after death? Maybe it's just another life.. or maybe this is a dream and maybe when "we die," we'll wake up in just another dream
Thanks so much for this
Simplicity is underrated, and even if your story is just a few hundred words long, it transcended the length.
Polishing this would make it have more oomph, but what can I say - I'm rusty, so I probably am just ranting
Take care, Mads.
Thanks for sharing this with us ^_^
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Wow.
I thought that it was amazing. Not something I was expecting at all! It was an very interesting twist to a short story.
Almost to the tear jerker status but not quite.
Well done!
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oOOH... What an interesting little piece! I'd actually like to see you expand on this and add more of that lovely description..
It's a great little piece.. gave my goosey woosey bumps. 'alot' is one word though..
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