The Black Moon,
The Darkened air,
Desolates our dune,
And Caresses our hair.1
We are it’s youth,
The keepers of night.
Enemies meet our tooth,
And with it our might.2
We are the nocturnal,
Agile, Rapid,
And deadly infernal.
Our dance on death.3
The Moon takes,
A shift in place.
The feeling of aches,
In our prey take brace.4
Live for another day,
Hunt for another dusk.
We are the stray,
Scenting of musk.5
The wild beast,
That lives free.
Without the least,
Bit of decree.6
The waters churn,
The Black Moon sets.
We twist and turn,
Feeding our regrets.7
Yearning for longer,
Life under our god.
We grow stronger,
With every odd.8
Yet the sun rises,
And we set,
Wearing our disguises,
Hold no regret.9
The Black Moon,
Bringing the dawn.
Means that soon,
We will be gone.
Author notes
I love your poem "Passion". It's never left my mind, when I think of your writing.
In a list
A contest entry
- Whatever You Want by Shadow-Kissed.
225 points, ended July 20, 2008, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
-
Wow, this was really quite well written for someone your age- the words flowed nicely, and the choice of words really added a sophisticated... 'thing' to the poem- sorry if that doesn't make much sense, I'm having a bit of a mental block at the moment... Great imagery throughout, and my only critique would be that the theme doesn't come across as being dark at all, which clashes with what the poem is about- it IS about vampires, right?
-
-
No, it's not actually about Vampires. Although I see how you might get that from it. Thank-you for your comment.
-
-
Wow this is really good. Everything flows. I especialyl love the last line "We will be gone." It's so sad, and makes me want to cry. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Thanks fro reading the rules too. I appreciate your comment.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
Adding your comment:
