I turned on the radio walked over to my desk and sat down at my computer. The classroom was empty and I spaced off into my own little world as I typed. Clay Walker’s deep voice soothing me, “If you don’t believe that destiny can start with just one wish…” 1
Suddenly, the radio was turned down and I heard Blade’s voice join in. “Watch this I’ll show you love like you’ve dreamed of.” I turned around as he was singing. He met my gaze with a look of passion in his eyes I had never seen before, and kept singing. He met my gaze with a look of passion in his eyes I had never seen before, and kept singing. “I’ve got so much to give watch this don’t be afraid you’ll be amazed at all the ways that I can show you what you’ve missed…”2
I stood and walked over to him, the whole time he had continued to sing, eyes looking no where but at me. Then when I was a foot from him, I started to sing too, “Just close your eyes and watch this.”3
I didn’t know I was doing it but as I sang I inched closer to him. My lips met his before I had finished the last note. The radio continued to play, but it was barely audible background noise that went in one ear and out the other. Time could have stopped and I wouldn’t have noticed. All I was aware of then was his body crushed up against mine and his exotic taste filling my mouth.
Author notes
This is the first scene that I wrote for The Loss of Reason, it doesn't directly link to any other written scenes yet...From the point of view of Amy
Contest entry option 2
In a list
Any advice?
Comments
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I love the way they were singing to each other. Eyes locked on one another caught up in the moment. I could visualize their moment playing out in my mind. Let your reader use their imagination. In paragraph 2 you repeated a line "He met my gaze with a look of passion in his eyes I had never seen before, and kept singing." Some punctuation work as well. All in all i enjoyed it.
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Thank you for entering, I didnt mind reading this story, I was a bit bored but i didnt mind.
Good luck
-missi


