The Journey Home

1

I can still remember it like it was yesterday. My day began like any other. I woke up listening to a monotone voice on the radio mumbling something about a snowstorm, I welcomed the morning with a yawn, then I got up from bed following my normal morning routine. I then prepared to face what would seem to be the coldest day in this Ontario winter. I grabbed my hat and a set of batteries for my mp3 CD disk man. As I left the house, Jack Frost’s Icy finger’s sent a chill up my spine. I thought to myself “how good are these batteries?”. Looking at the small screen I could see that they would last me until I got home, only if nothing went wrong…  The day went as normal much like every other day. Home room, two classes, lunch, two more classes and then it was time to go home, 2

That day some thing would change my life and make me rethink the way I look at the world. 3

Classes were over but I was forced to stay late to to finish some work, which the teacher decided was more important, then me getting home. Before I knew it the busses had gone. Which left me with only two choices. Wait, or walk.4

I chose to walk and begin my journey I walked a ways till I got to the glass covered winter lake. The icy path leads right to my home. I thought this would make more sense; to take the easy path on the coldest day. I slipped my hat over my cold head.5

I knew the way home, walk towards the land of frogs until I see my hometown’s shoreline. But I would not know the outcome of this journey. I walked along the white desert en route for the small town that sat in the center of the lake. However, on this cold day no one inhabited the small fishing shacks. In fact I did not see anything but snow and empty fishing shacks. 6

It was rare to see no black smoke from the pipes of the ice shacks. Nevertheless, I had many other things to think about, such as the long course ahead. I knew as long as I had my music from my Disk man I could keep on track, but just then the sound began to die. I looked at the screen on the disk man to see that my batteries where on their last cell. It was not going to last all the way home. I then noticed there was no longer a path to where I was going. It seems that going home was going to be much more difficult then I had thought it would be to get where home. Even though when I started this journey it seemed so simple. I saw the path in my head but when on the path, it seemed impossible. The ten-pound bag on my back soon felt like a truckload. I constantly felt Jack Frost’s dogs nipping at my ankles as I stepped into the deep snow. It seemed so simple to give up and turn back, but I had gone so far. 7

There was no turning back. For the town behind me was now rapped in a blanket of   winter fog I could no longer see behind me. 8

Even looking forward I saw nothing, the place I was going now clouded from me. I sat down and shook my head “I’ll never make it” I said to my self. I thought to my self maybe I could lay here and sleep, let someone find me and take me home. So do I give up? Even though the hopes of my grand parents, cousins, father and friends where all on my mind. Letting go and giving up seemed so much easier. 9

I cannot give up. I cannot give up, not when so many people are counting on me. I must go on! Although my legs now seemed to be made from cubes of ice, I had to go on. Dusk began to creep over the winter desert and only the hint of the town was the smoke from the sawmill, a smoke signal the mill sent me an arrow. I knew the road ahead was not going to be easy but I took the little bit of sign and from my very small town and lead me to my enormous hope. “All I had to do is stand tall and give it all.”10

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Comments

  • Phoenix Knight
    February 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I thank you for your comments, I have edited the areas and made some changes, Please feel free to look over more of my work and comment on it as well.


  • natasharv
    February 3, 2005
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    pretty good

    I really like the concept of this story. I also think that the references to "jack Frost's icy fingers" are great.
    I did notice a few typos... and I think parts of it are a little repetitive... for example:
    "but I was forced to stay late to WORK on some WORK"
    "*I thought to myself* “how good are these batteries?” *I mumbled to my self.*"
    It sounds like you started writing one sentece, and half way through, decided to write a different sentence... I do that all the time.
    Like I said, I really like the concept, but I think you could get more out of it by putting extra emphasis on the hopelessness of the situation, or the fear of the narrator.

    Overall, nice job... but I believe you could make it a lot better by doing a little editing.