Once in the Moonlight XVIII: STILL Love and Stuff.

CHAPTER LXVI1

After one of Topelaka’s shows, the young actress was found behind the brick performance hall. But she was not alone. With her was the one she now was never seen without: Creed. Sabrina, Roxy and I didn’t particularly like the change, and yet we wondered if he was right for her. The light in her eyes whenever he was around, it was almost like when she was with Rei…Could she have truly found “the one”? 2

No one was around. The only reason I was there was because I had been hoping to congratulate Topleaka on her outstanding performance. She was my best friend, after all. But Creed got to her first. It was obvious that they were oblivious to my presense, such a close space between them. Suspicious and concerned, I lingered in the shadows, watching. 3

Words of praise were whispered to her, but I couldn’t discern but a few. Her giggle was easily defined, like the chirp of a pair of lovebirds, as she held onto him in a tighter hug. Starting to feel guilty for intruding, I turned to walk away, jolting at the sight of a familiar actor. “Rei?” I whispered, surprised. “What are you doing here?”4

Silent, he nodded to me in recognition, stepping out of the shadows, into the scene with his signature thinned eyes. The girl froze, head reluctantly turning to face the new-comer. “R-rei kun,” her expression fell to one of surprise, disappointment, and a tinge of annoyance. Certainly not the look she would have ever dared give him in her past.5

Though Rei rarely chose to spoke, nor show any outward emotions for that matter, his eyes always spoke for him. If looks could kill…I cringed as I turned the corner, away from the scene. The normally honeydew melon eyes burned with a fury that said, “Leave her before I kill you,” Without his eyes, however, there would be no sign that he was the least bit furious. 6

“I’ll…leave you two alone,” Creed shot back a glare, surrendering for now. But there was something in the iris of gold that held some other worldly anger, as if there was some reason for this encounter beyond what Topleaka or I understood. The young canary eyes darted between her new boyfriend and her old hero, terribly confused about what was going on. 7

Once Creed was gone, Rei broke their silence by muttering “Let’s get out of here,” Resisting to demand so much made his teeth clench. Lost at what was happening, Topleaka nodded softly and followed him naively like a stray puppy, though her annoyance flitted on the edges of her lips.8

So that was how it went for a very long time: nothing but the sound of night emerging. Her eyes went up to his many a time, but he hardly noticed. Rarely did he care enough about anything to get jealous. Never had he felt anger like this: as though something, or someone, had been wrongfully taken from him. Perhaps he had wrongfully assumed that Topleaka would unconditionally follow him for the rest of time.9

After goodness knows how long, Topleaka finally spoke. “Rei kun,” timidity took her for once. 10

His only response was a usual “Hm,”. 11

“Why did…you come tonight? Does Creed bother you?” The words came out forced, yet her worry was sincere and naïve. 12

Of course he does! Rei thought, but kept it to himself. “They’re just rumors, right?” Inwardly, he was dying to know.13

“What are?”14

“That…you’re dating that jerk-“ he cringed just at the thought of it. 15

“R-Rei,” Topleaka’s bangs covered her eyes. “Creed’s my boyfriend,” 16

His thoughts died right there, unable to believe her words were true. Did Topleaka even know- “Topleaka-“ he began. “Creed’s just a fan boy.”17

Topleaka shot him a sharp glance, “How can you say that?” 18

“I know,“ he looked at her seriously. “You can’t fall for a fan—“19

Her eyes opened wide angrily, especially as Rei realized what he had just said. Surprisingly, she then chuckled coldly. “Oh that’s right; to you, everyone’s just a fan…”20

“What are you talking about-“21

“Who cares? Why even listen to me? I’m just a flippin’ fan girl!” she spun around on her heels, striding off in the opposite direction. Tears quickly fell down her cheek, onto the sidewalk. 22

Rei watched her walk off, realizing how stupid he was. What’s wrong with me? 23

~24

Being the mediator between Rei and Topleaka was not the most fun job on earth. I felt like I was part of some over-dramatized Korean soap opera, fueled by a misunderstanding over unsaid and unthoughtwords. Really…what had started this problem? I didn’t understand until I officially was introduced to Creed. 25

“Haruka chan, this is my boyfriend Creed,” said girl came up to me with a soft giggle on her tongue, her arms intertwined around the one named Creed.26

“B-boyfriend?” my shock showed through. 27

Her perfect smile grew clouded over. “Can’t I have a boyfriend if I want to?”28

Surprised by her reaction, I traced back, “N-no! Its just-“29

“What?” reading my thoughts, she asked, “You thought it would be Rei, didn’t you? Because I would date him if he were the last man on earth,” 30

Pinch. Pinch. Nope, the world was still here. Surely it was the apocalypse, or my ears were even more dulled than I thought. 31

Giving me no time to reply, she rose up and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek, walking off to her next class. His eyes…I noticed them once again. They reminded me of Atlatnean eyes…Could he be—32

No. 33

I tried to toss the idea aside, yet I still found Creed suspicious. Why did he suddenly jump for the opportunity for Topleaka? Was she so desperate for attention that she tossed away all hopes for the one she truly loved? How was this weak girl the brash bold Topleaka?34

Still, an unearthly silence lingered between Rei and Topleaka for weeks. “How long do you think this will stay before Topleaka collapses?” Roxy asked, rather bored. 35

“What if she really has moved on from Rei?” Always taking the naïve way. 36

“You don’t honestly believe that crap, do you?” her frown went to me.37

“I-I,” stutters captivated me. 38

The nearby emerald head walked in. “Must we always talk about romance?” her voice exasperated. “Last time I checked, we weren’t in a soap-opera. There’s better things to talk about, right?” Grinning, trying to tempt us away from idle talk, Sabrina was always beyond such things. Or was it that such talk re-awakened the nightmares of Jack?39

~40

Rei had a high tolerance. But he was reaching a limit-a limit he had not been aware of until now. Passing Topleaka on the path outside, he said so only she could hear, “Why are you avoiding me?” The words of his heart slipped off his lips unintentionally. 41

Topleaka looked surprised for a moment, then sadly grinned with clenched teeth. “Being ignored sucks, doesn’t it?” 42

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he shot back hotly. 43

“I’m tired…of waiting for nothing,” she muttered harshly as she walked away. Rei was dumbstruck, hearing something so spiteful and crude for someone as kind and sweet as Topleaka. 44

As soon as she was far enough away from Rei, she began to run down the street, crying harder than she had ever cried before. I’m tired of waiting for you...hoping, but nothing happening. You never loved me, you never will. Don’t try to act sympathetic for me, Rei. I need to move beyond you. I need for someone to pick me as their flower…45

~46

Warm candlelight mixed with laughter and the accented music drew the young couple in. Creed led her into the small café, dimmed with cigarette smoke, but all she noticed was him. Like a lamb to the slaughter…47

It was foolish of her to choose that dress…the one barely hanging on her chest, barely covering her thighs…She, of course, was oblivious to all of that. The way his hand “happened” to slip lower and lower down her waist…Didn’t she notice that? She was a frog dropped into a pot of boiling water; everyday, the heat was turned up just a little more…48

She should have known better when he led her to the darkest corner. But he was her light…no darkness could make him dulled in her eyes, her disillusioned eyes…He said he wanted to dance… He kept on whispering sweet things in her ears, sweetened lies…and she believed every one. She also giggled at the tickle of his lips to her ear…49

Then something in the room changed. That sweet façade of innocent love seemed to fade off into the backdrop like a distant memory. A short dance…slower and slower…until it was as though they were not dancing at all…He held her arm tightly…too tightly…and when she told him to stop, he only pulled her tighter…50

But that wasn’t him. She wanted to scream-for fear, for blindness, for utter confusion of the moment, but she had no voice. The music in the back stopped as the loud thrust of a punch or two echoed in the corner. Some wary customers began to file towards the door…51

Slam! went a form in the dimmed light, pinned against a wall. A ruby of blood dripped to the floor soundlessly. The girl inwardly thanked the darkness for censoring that implicitly violent moment; otherwise, she may have been faint.52

“Touch her and you die,” Was that Rei’s voice? Topleaka couldn’t hear against the beating of her own heart. His voice was soft yet hoarse and deadly, like the whisper of the reaper itself. 53

A snicker could be heard. “What’s it matter to you? You practically gave her up for the crowds-“54

Another cracking of knuckles against cheekbone. Her legs felt as though they would melt right into the floor. “She’s not some toy,”55

This time it was a laugh, even through the coughs of blood, “Of course she is!” the once kind voice rasped in a perverted laugh. “You know how great it looks to say I had an actress-“ his voice died into the silence of the shadows. 56

“You disgust me,” Rei spat, leaving the mass on the floor. Her eyes, off in the distance, like two canaries, no longer singing, widened by stark fear. Until that hand she remembered from long ago took hers. That familiar voice whispered in her ear, “Let’s get out of here,” 57

~58

After having rushed out of the shady café, the couple was found in the light of streetlamps, a usual silence over them. The girl was having trouble holding in the tears of shame that were building up within her eyes. And in one moment, they burst. 59

“I’m so sorry!!!!!!!” her voice belted, wavering with every word. Once the first tear fell, she couldn’t stop. But something stopped when she felt herself enveloped in Rei’s arms. 60

“It took me long enough to realize that I loved you,” he held her tighter, “It was stupid of me to watch that go so far…I should have known,” Her eyes causiously lifted up to face him. “…And I never want to lose you-ever. Especially not to some fan boy,” he stroked one of her loose curls.61

“W-why didn’t you tell me?” she asked softly. 62

“People would have known.” He loosened his grip on her. 63

“And what’s wrong with that?” she gazed at him curiously, yet her voice still soft. 64

“Is it wrong for me to want you all to myself?” he asked her, an unintentional smile pulling at his lips. 65

“I-“ she began, but was cut off by the sudden warmth of his lips against hers. Well, that was quite unexpected. But this night had been full of that already. That doesn’t mean that she didn’t enjoy every moment of it though. 66

But when it ended, her smile was back as she hugged him with all her might, “Rei-I’ve always loved you,” 67

CHAPTER LXVII68

TRUE BEAUTY COMES FROM YOU69

Dear God,70

Hey its me again: the girl who said she’d take you seriously this time. And I meant to, really—but you know my life: the abnormal chaos that’s been given to me. I sometimes want to blame you for it, because honestly: I don’t get it! Out of all the people in Nakajima , in all the world!, you had to make me the faerie princess of Eden. I can’t even remember what my faerie name is, even though its been a full year since I got it… Vitaelia, isn’t it? God, do you even know how hard all of this is to juggle: faerie land, overdriven hormones, handfuls of friends, school and then you? 71

“I will not give you more than you can handle…”72

I wondered for a moment if there was a voice behind me, but I found it was only the striking of a key on the piano. For some reason, unlike singing, piano playing made me feel rather thoughtful and serious. …But I rarely played the piano. I hated practicing the piano, and that’s probably why I was rarely found in front of it. 73

Notes tangled and distorted themselves in ways I thought physically impossible on the paper before me. Sighing, I flipped yet another page, trying to decifer through the tangle of notes. It was like my life—so many different lines and melodies and keys, somehow all clashing together, and yet sounding so beautiful. When I thought really long and hard about it, my life was beautiful-just in its own little way. 74

I always try to look on the bright side, God. I try to be the smiling one, the person with encouraging words, the person who listens. But there’s a wits end I’ve come to where I can’t handle it all… 75

I’ve always done everything myself, never bothering to ask for anyone else’s help. Life’s easier that way. But now I’ve reached a point where its impossible, and I guess I see that…76

I need to ask you for help. 77

The sentence looped through my mind over and over again, as if I coulnd’t fully comprehend its meaning. I need to ask you for help…I need to ask you for help… My thumb traced over middle C, and for a moment, I believed its ring was the only sound in the world. Suddenly, I felt a relief I never knew was possible. I had no problems, for God would help me. 78

There the dance over keys stopped. My hand seemed to wilt right there. He did die. He did live. Because of him, life is. And because of Him, life is beautiful. 79

I couldn’t see it then, but I knew if I waited, all the chaos would make sense: like a dissonant chord resolving to a harmony. There is a harmony waiting for me…and I just have to trust God to hear it… I smiled, glancing over the path of black and white keys. Knowing that, I could see that my life was truly beautiful. 80

Beautiful.81

Beauty. I think it was something we had forgotten in Mihama for a very long time.Shuffling the music on the piano stand, I walked away, thinking, I should play the piano more often…82

CHAPTER LXVIII83

Why was he walking down here? Of course, there was absolutely no relevance to the fact that it was on this street that Tsukizami Haruka lived, nor how he happened to pass by her house every few minutes, nor how he randomly glanced at her jaded Shishi dogs on the brick wall. He was just walking down this street, skateboard in hand, people watching. And considering there was a lack of people, he was house watching. Squirrel watching as well. But all of that came to a halt when he noticed something on the ground. 84

A book. A diary to be precise. Fiinding himself drawn to it, he picked it up by the soggy binding, opening it to the first page. It read:85

Property of Tsukizami Haruka. If you read this, my abnormally dead panda will eat you!86

How could irony play with him so? His inner conscience told him to return the book immediately back to her, but at the same time, curiousity bit at him like a rabid dog. And oh how he wanted to avoid rabid dogs. So he did what any man would do: “drop” the book as to make it “conveniently” fall on a page. The page read:87

Dear Journal,88

Oh my goodness, I feel so delightfully happy! So happy and full of delight! Guess who I saw today? Oh, come on! Guess! It was him!89

For a moment, he wondered if the book was labeled correctly, considering he had never seen Haruka spaz in any form ever in his time of knowing her. But then the final word hit him: him. Who was this him of which she spoke? Was she seeing someone? Who? Oh, how he needed to know, so he continued to read!90

I don’t think ink can do him justice, but he surely is the single most gorgeous man to ever walk the face of the earth! His dark brown eyes, his silky hair, his muscles…Oh! It makes me blush just thinking about him! But of course, its more than his looks, its who he is, which is all that really matters, right? 91

Akihiro wasn’t quite sure whether he was more jealous of whomever Haruka was describing or mentally scarred that Haurka was sounding like a creeper fangirl. But curiousity still hadn’t loosened its grip on him, so he “accidentally” dropped the book so it would turn to another page. 92

Dear diary,93

I almost wish I could stop thinking about him. Whenever I do, I find myself more discouraged, considering he can’t know more than my name. But why should he? I truly wonder if he’s a god who came down on earth…him with his wonderful voice…But God would want me to move on, right? To not be bogged down by thoughts of him? I should press forward—94

“Who is this?” Akihiro internally demanded, rapidly flipping through the pages in the middle of the sidewalk. But no page gave him any more clues, for the last page only read:95

Dear Diary,96

I know its true now:97

I love him.98

“That’s it!” the tall young man found himself shouting aloud. “I must stop this madness once and for all!” He knew he must do something. This wasn’t just some diary; it was personal. Well, in a sense it was. In another, it had absolutely nothing to do with him. Either way, Akihiro had that manly “Must defend my honor and conquer all!” feeling rise within him as he sprinted off. 99

~100

People began to wonder what was wrong with me. I was hyperventilating. My eyes were swollen red around the sides, my hair slickened to my back. Britteni and her cohorts snickered, asking if “my duty was becoming too much for me.” The preps laughed, having no idea what the implications were. Athena told me it must be a school violation to be so unkempt and half-dead, while I could have sworn I saw Jack snicker and Adair try to ignore me even more than usual. However, my friends were more consoling. 101

“What’s wrong, Haruka chan?” Sabrina asked me in the loud cafeteria. 102

“Oh, Sabrina san! I’ve lost my diary!” I cried out. 103

Her emerald eyebrow pirked up. “Your…diary?”104

“Yes my diary!” I cried, my head falling flat against the table. “And if someone finds it…Oh!” 105

“It…had some things about Akihiro kun in it, didn’t it?” a smirk grew across her angled face, and I couldn’t help but blush.106

“Maybe…” I poked my fingers together. 107

She smiled. “Well-you can’t worry about it! God knows exactly where it is, and has it all planned out! So just relax!”108

My head drooped, though that did help a little. “Its just…I wrote about that incident with you and Ashton in there….”109

“NANI?!” was all that could be heard from the cafeteria. Everyone stopped, seeing a crimson out of character Sabrina. Freshmen trembled. Aspen even twitched. 110

But that didn’t perturb Akihiro from walking over. So overwhelmed with thoughts of the diary, he hovered above me and greeted with his signature funny grin, “Konnichiwa.” Sabrina blushed from her sudden outburst and sat down soundlessly. 111

“Oh! Hi, Akihiro kun,” I smiled, trying to ignore the lines that were coming into my head that I wrote in my diary from one of my favourite techno songs that went something along the lines of…112

Ba da da la di da do da di da di di da113

So cute, so fine114

Always forever mine!115

Sexy, noble heart116

Never will we be apart!117

Love me, kiss me118

Baby baby baby119

Be my only love120

Baby Baby Baby121

Ba da da la di da do da di da di di da…122

I had to stop myself. 123

Akihiro thought to himself for a moment: what was the plan again? He couldn’t really remember…no wait: That’s right! He wanted to sit with her, and try to discover who the mysterious man of Haruka’s diaries was. 124

“Is it ok if I sit with you?” he asked blankly. I blinked back a blush. 125

Scooting over a little bit, I smiled and replied. “Sure!” Aspen snickered to herself, to which I gave her a weak glare. 126

“So, Akihiro kun: how are you?” I picked at my salad nervously. Must not think…must not think!127

“Ok, I guess.” He muttered, seeing everyone at our table. “How about you?”128

“Good,” Well, what else was I supposed to say? Maybe an idea would have come to me if Akihiro wasn't suddenly staring into my eyes. I could feel my cheeks warming, as my mind raced "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!??!?!"129

“A-Akihiro kun?” I asked, completely confused. What was he-130

“Haruka chan?” he asked, still locked on my eyes. My eyes. His chocolate brown, endless eyes on mine. 131

“Is…s-something wrong?” I asked, not wanting to look away. 132

“I-“ he began, turning a slight red. Aspen noticed us and stifled a rising laugh, falling backwards in her bench, colliding with the floor below. 133

I cocked my head, wondering if this was just a staring contest. I did have the ability to blow small matters out of proportion, especially in the realm of romance. I’d better not blink…NOT BLINK! 134

Man, she’s got great eyes…Akihiro mused to himself …I should do this more often…135

Then came along Kaio, perfectly unintentionally spoiling the moment.It was true that we rarely talked for long, but on occasion, he'd sit at lunch at our table. Though I didn’t know Kaio that well, he was a pretty good friend of mine, especially considering that he was in half my classes. Surely he didn't know Akihiro teribly well, nor our relationship as "simply friends", which was probably why he asked "...Haruka chan?" 136

"Oh--ohayo, Kaio kun," I waved, officially breaking the moment. Kaio...why now? I muttered to myself, outwardly trying to hold my signature "be nice to all" smile. 137

"Who-" Akihiro asked himself, realizing that something made him want to figuratively kill Kaio at that moment. "Could it be him--"138

“Do you want to sit with us?” I offered lamely, cursing myself inside for trying to be so hospitible. 139

Seeing that he had just ruined a moment, he grew slightly red. But considering that staying now would probably make the moment even more awkward, he shrugged the offer off. "Its fine, Ja ne," 140

Akhiro, terribly pleased at Kaio's exit, still watched the young man with an unnamable anger. This had to be him... Akihiro decided. He will pay for stealing Haruka’s heart…HE WILL PAY!!!141

What am I saying- he mused for a moment, I don’t like Haruka-do I? 142

I noticed that something was wrong with Akihiro when he began to nearly hyperventilate, his eyes distant, and a red hue resting over his cheeks. 143

“A-Akihiro kun?” I asked, worried. “You don’t---seem like yourself today. Are you sure you’re alright?” Against my will, my hand gently reached for his face. Both of us turned bright red at the contact. 144

“I’m fine, Haruka. Really,” he said seriously, taking my hand. 145

{Kiss her! The evil inner Akihiro said. 146

What the- Akihiro replied, surprised at the sudden appearance of this voice. 147

I’m your inner self. You know you want to kiss her- it began smoothly. 148

What?! He wasn’t sure how to reply to soemthign like that… But-what if that just ruins our relationship? I’d rather Haruka just be my friend than thinking of me as some perv for the rest of our High School years!149

…pathetic, it muttered and fell back into his thoughts. Wow-that was weird. 150

Well, as what happens whenever one argues with their inner self, their eyes become all blank and they become oblivious to the normal world. So was what happened to Hanazaki. }151

“Akihiro, I think you should see the nurse,” I watched him with concern.152

“Don’t think twice about it! I’ve just got this headache…” he invented, a grin growing over his face. I still didn’t believe him, but I couldn’t argue, my mind focusing on the fact that he was holding my hand still…153

Then, of course, reality found a way to interfere, for I somehow had the revelation that there were groups of friends gathered around me, all eating their lucnhes in awkward silence. I suppose it just reminded me how incompatible my various groups of friends were. But when the bell rang, I was able to eagarly dash off to my next class, leaving behind the awkward silence and the confused Akihiro. 154

~155

Akihiro began to catch himself angrily glaring at Kaio for long periods of time. He tried to shake it off, asking himself "What am I thinking?!" 156

He had always seen Haruka as a friend. A very good one at that. When he actually got to know Haruka beyond "some classmate", he realized that she was a mature, kind person: the kind he wanted to be around. Learnign of her love for music, and her talent for singign was an added bonus--and it gave them common ground in more than Christ. 157

He had never felt this way before about anyone, really. He suddenly felt very protective over Haruka. He had sudden impulses where he wanted to kiss her. He began to notice the obscure things-like her smile, her laugh, her voice: everythign about her. And he liked it all a lot. Since when had he thought so much about a single person...ever?158

Seeing her pass by interrupted his thoughts. Good he thought Kaio’s not anywhere near by…159

“Ohayo, Haruka chan!” he greeted me. 160

“Oh—ohayo Akihiro kun!” I smiled, walking over to him. “Are you-feelign better?” I asked shyly. 161

He blinked. “Feeling better? From what?162

“You haven’t---seemed like yourself in a while, Akihiro kun,” I looked up at him sadly. 163

“It’s nothing! You need to stop worrying about everything, Haruka chan,” he grinned. I looked at him, unconvinced. “Haruka chan—-“ Akihiro began, a fair bit less upbeat as usual. 164

“Is s-somehting wrong, Akihiro kun?” I asked, knowing somethign of sorts was wrong. 165

“I wanted to know if---You’d like to go out for ramen with me,” he said blankly. "You know, purely as friends,"166

Of course he had to add that last part. I knew it was inevitable, that he could never possibly want to go somewhere with me for that reason. Either way, it was Akihiro inviting me somewhere. With him. Alone. “I’d love to!” I replied too hastily, probably throwing him off guard a bit. 167

But to my surprise, he only grinned, walking off to his class. “Ja ne, Haruka chan!” were the last words before I nearly fainted in ecstasy. 168

~169

Someone pinch me before I continue walking in a disillusioned dream! I mentally chanted, still unable to believe that I was walking down the street with Akihiro towards the corner ramen stand. Walking alone…with Akihiro…for ramen…I didn’t care how small and insignificant it really was, for in my eyes, it was one of the happiest days of my life. I tried to stifle the excessive excitement underneath my masked smile, praying I wouldn’t do anything that would make him regret this venture in the first place. 170

Seeing the Ramen stand ahead, Akihiro sped up his pace, grabbing my hand in the process. My hand. Looking back, I suppose that makes sense, considering my hand was the only hand available for grabbing. But to feel Akihiro’s warm hand around mine…was epic. 171

Racing across the empty street, for a moment, I thought I could fly. The cold night air tassled my hair, raising a laugh to my lips, with Akihiro next to me. I was free, full, happy, and I wondered to myself, Is this what it means to fly on Earth?172

Under the curtain of the ramen shop, we must have still been laughing as we took seats on the stools. The cook smiled at us knowingly, asking “Having a nice date, ne?”173

At those words, both Akihiro and I stiffened a bit. “Just friends,” we both whispered almost reluctantly, though our faces were both cherry red from embarrassment. 174

“Oh, of course,” the cook winked, getting our bowls of ramen. 175

Finding ourselves the only two customers, silence hung like a wet curtain, making me wonder when it would fall… Taking a gulp, I voiced the question I had been wanting to ask since he first invited me here, “Akihiro kun…w-why did you invite me here?” I couldn’t look up in nervousness, “I—“ words didn’t come out. 176

“Here’s your ramen!” the cook sent two steaming bowls across the counter, disappearing back into the fog of the kitchen. Reaching for the chopsticks, I tried to make myself as invisible as possible. How could I have actually asked that aloud? What could he possibly take from that? I don’t know, maybe that I wasn’t having the best time of my life? No! But he had to know: how much I enjoyed just being with him, even if we were just at a ramen stand. 177

“Haruka chan,” Akihiro began, almost as if he hadn’t heard me ask my question. And perhaps he hadn’t! How glorious! “You aren’t in a relationship, right?”178

Did I just hear that right? As any girl would, I took those words to be the precursor for “Let’s hook up”. Getting ahead of myself, I breathed dreamily with a strong blush, “Not yet…”179

The words pricked his ears as he nearly dropped his chopsticks. “Not yet? What do you mean?”180

“Oh,” Welcome reality. “Nothing,”181

“There’s not someone you’re interested in, is there?”182

Besides you? I had to bound and gag my inner voice and shake my head “no”. 183

“So no one would figuratively and or literally kill me if I asked you to join me for the dance?” he grinned. 184

I nearly choked in a mixture of shock, delight, and an inner voice’s “I told you so”. Swallowing the hot ramen with the best mask of serenity I could find, I replied, “I’d love to.”185

Eyes widening, he asked, “You mean—you wouldn’t mind? As in, you’re not saying yes just because we’re friends?”186

Friends. For a violent moment, I wanted to stab that word in the face. We were always just friends, right? Friends: Could we ever be more than just blasted friends? I wanted to believe so, yet at the same time, I wondered…187

“Of course not!” I shook my head violently. “I want to go—especially with you!” Did I hear myself correctly? Did I just say that aloud? Crimson rising across my cheeks, I was relieved when it seemed he didn’t catch that last part. 188

“Great!” his eyes lit up—those umber eyes I wanted to stare into for hours. But already, from underneath the curtain, we saw the falling of night, and mutually agreed it was time to leave. Stepping out through the part, leaving the money on the counter, I could still smell the scent of ramen follow us. Perhaps that’s why whenever I pass the ramen stand on Sei dori, I always think of Akihiro.189

Only a few steps down the darkening street, I felt something warm around my hand. Looking down, I saw it was Akihiro’s hand around mine. A sudden rush of adrenaline made me feel nearly faint, and I could hear my own pulse thudding in my ears. His hand and mine. Of course, this wasn’t the first time this had happened, but of course, the situation made it eternally more significant. Slowly walking down the street, alone, from dinner, alone…My eyes flashed up to his quickly, innocently. 190

Noticing my blush, he replied quickly, “Just to make sure nothing happens. You can never trust the night.”191

“Oh—h-hai,” I nodded, giving every ounce of effort towards not over analyzing the moment. 192

When we reached my road, the stars were fully out. Straining my neck, I tried to count them all. Of course, I lost track. But seeing the endless rows made me think of Sabrina and her faerie dominion over the heavens. We liked to joke that she was the puppetmaster of the twilight, every star being pulled by one of her fingertips. Likewise, I was the delighted reaper, ironically holding the seith of life and death in my palm. Right now, I felt that same power. The moonlight, perhaps?193

“Akihiro kun?” I voiced, still looking up to the stars. “Do you e-ever feel some sort of…power in the moonlight?”194

“Nani?”195

“I don’t know how to explain it…but in the moonlight, I feel like—a different person. It makes me feel strong and yet…so open,” my voice fell to a whisper. 196

For a while, he said nothing, only continuing ahead, his face pensive. “…I guess I feel that too…” he replied at last. “Its odd; I never thought about it before,”197

“Really?” He nodded, and I did not realize what it truly meant. 198

But before I could think, we were at the door to my house, next to two jaded Shishi statues. Trying to prevent an awkward moment, I gave a smile, “Arigatou, Akihiro kun—I had a great time!”199

“Really?” His eyebrow rose, while his heart raced in his chest. 200

There was so much more I wanted to say—and yet I was too shy to say it. “Hai.” Reaching for the door, I turned around one last time, as if trying to call out to him to say he felt the same way. “Ja ne, Akihiro kun,” With one last wave, the night was over, and I would never forget it. 201