When I was six years old, I started to realize that I was not the same as others. I tried so hard to make friends. Just nobody would ever take the time. To get to know me. I was such a loving child back then.1
All I ever wanted was to be liked. I had my first surgery done when I was six years old. Because of this disease that I have, it is called neurofibromatosis. It makes people look a little different they have spots on their bodies, and also they get a lot of tumors. This is what I am dealing with. I was born with this disease, there were times that I wish that, I was never even born.2
By, the time I was nine. I tried to kill myself, I did not want to live another day. It was hard for me getting up each morning. Knowing that the day will be the same. My mother is one of them, who has always pushed me away. My brother and sister as well. I always wished to the Lord, for them to feel, what I have and for them too know what I have to go through.3
Just one thing though, they will never know the pain, and the feeling that I have and what I have to deal with... It is damn hard on me, having neurofibromatosis; nobody in this world knows what I have to go through unless, they have this disease like I do. All, I ever wanted was to be wanted, and to be loved. I would have done anything, for this to happen. There were times, that I have felt sorry for myself, and I have felt so helpless about things.4
I have only had one true friend, in this world. He was always there for me, he was the only one who has ever really got to know my loving heart. Just sadly though, I tried to buy his love also. I came to find that this one, was a true friend. He loved me for me. He would have also done whatever it was that I needed. But I ended up throwing that friendship away, over something so stupid. I truly miss him. He was there for me, when I wanted to die, he was there for me after a few of my surgeries. He has always been there. Until now, here I am going through all this pain once again. Wishing, that I would just die now. No, I won't try to take my life again though. 5
It is not worth it. My mother and father ended up showing, me how much they wanted me out of their life's. How they did that, was by letting me get married at the age of fifteen years old. I wanted to wait, he wanted to wait. This man also was, one of them who did not know how to show his love. He never really showed me that he cared about me. He always called me names, cut me down. It caused me so much pain. That was another time though when I tried to take my life. He told me that he did not care if I lived or died. So, I picked to take my own life. I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills. Hoping that, I would never wake up.6
They said, if I would have taken one more pill. I would have done the job. When, I was seventeen, I had my first brain surgery done. That's one of the hardest surgeries that, anybody would have to go through. Now the hardest thing is. Knowing that very soon, I will be dead from this disease.7
Now, I want to take you back. Just a little bit, back when I was child. My mother and father use to hit and beat me for no reason at all. You know how that old saying went "I'm going to knock the piss out of you" Well, this is something that did happen to me, and when my mother did knock the piss out of me. She then hit me again and again for pissing my pants. She, use too always make me stand in the conner for no reason at all, she use to make me stair in the mirror at myself, because I never would smile. 8
I never felt, like I should. I always felt like I was unwanted. I had no reason at all to smile. All, of my life. I have wished that I could be someone else. Just one thing though. This could never be, I will always be the person that I am. I will never be one of those super stars, I will never be a heart breaker. The only thing that I am, is the person that Lord made.9
I have been through so much, through my life. If I did not have my mother and father hitting me, others were. I have wished so many times, that I could die. I have always hoped and had dreams When, I had my surgeries done, that I would never wake up. It would be the easiest and painless way to go. It just never would happen. I know the day that I die, it will be so peaceful. Nobody will miss me when I am gone.10
I know this for a fact, look how they act now. I am always pushed away. My family does not even call me, they're not here for me when I need them the most. What is it with me? Why, do people have to be so mean in this world? 11
It is pretty sad, that I have to beg and pled for people to come and see me.12
All, my heart has ever wanted was to be loved, and too feel as it is wanted.13
If it wasn't for this disease, I know. I would be something much more then I am now. Was, I put down on this earth for a reason, that I don't know? That's a question nobody can answer. The only person who will be able to tell me. Is the Lord, himself.14
CHAPTER 2 Is yet to come....15
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 50 of 50
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i am at a lose for words,
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Thank you so very much for comment. And also thanks so much for taking the time and reading this story. Thanks,
Take care now
Jenn
And yes you can send me your e-mail address -
Btw, your ap sis Leslie, is a dear friend of mine
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I saw your contest from an entry done by my ap mom and although, I probably won't find time to enter. I wanted to give you some words of encouragement. I too, have lived a very horrible life and like you, I have disease that is destroying my body. The worse part is I have two kids under three. I only hope I can make it long enough to let them have a memory of me. I would love to be your friend. You can im me anytime at all or if you would like, I can give you my email. I know it's hard to face things like this with no support. Luckily, I have some friend here online. I don't have many in real life but, I get by. I am so glad you were able to share this. I wish I was able to share more of my story but, I am too afraid of rejection. I really applaud your courage.
Martha -
Sweetie, I had no idea that you had been through so much, but I know you don't want pity. You want only what everyone should be entitled to: Love and unconditionally.
To read your wonderful writings has been a pleasure on several occasions. This will be another such occasion for me. Your talent belies that you have any problems, physical or emotional, at all. Hold your head up, and tell the world who you are! Love and hugs, Patricia -
YOU CAN DO IT!!
Well a lot of people have told you how sorry they are for you and how they cried.
Now let me tell you that you have been blessed. YES BLESSED. You may not have realised this but you chose to come here as you are. This is your learning school. God has a special place for you and you have a special life to come. YOU need to start realising the need to handle how you are and feel the glory and love from your heavenly Father. PLEASE BELIEVE ME. If this were not true you would have succeeded in your suicide attempts. You did not succeed because this was how you were meant to be and you are here to learn from it. You are truly very blessed. believe in God. Trust in him and lift your head high. Look this world in the eye and say. STUFF YA. I am going to win this battle and prove how much I have to offer.
I am sure there is oodles of guts in you that is hiding away waiting for someone to encourage you to use it. To step outside the square and take the challenge.
Lots of Love and Blessings
Edited on Jun 21, 11:41 p.m. because ''. -
Jenn...I am so sorry for all of your sorrow...You have had a very hard life by the sounds of it and Still have more to go through....I can not even imagine knowing a haead of time that your time is coming...Please just have peace with the fact of where you will go....No pain...just peace...If I can be here for you in anyway...please feel free to ask
-Amy
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I am glad you stopped by and took a look at this story. I also have a part two to this story if you would like to take a look you will find it here
http://allpoetry.com/Story/1106240
Thank you,
Jenn -
This really is such a touching piece. You are rapidly bringing tears to my eyes. I know how people can be so cruel and unfair to others and the way you placed your point of view across in this piece was just amazing.
You shouldn't have to be ashamed of you are, because it it those people who judge that should be ashamed of themselves. No-one has the right to discriminate others.
You really did do this piece justice and i am very sorry about everything you have gone through. You really do not deserve it and make sure that you don't blame yourself for other peoples remarks.
You really have written such an emotional piece and i wish you good luck for the contest Julz x -
Thanks, so much for your kind words. No I really don't have many friend on here. I use to have a lot here on the AP but it seems like they have drifted away as well. I am glad you say you'll be here for me that does brighten up my day. When I was a gold member on here I did post my picture. I had things post saying meet the poet...
I also had one of myself on my homepage. But I do have some of myself in my profile on-line. Thanks for reading this
Jenn -
This is heartbreaking, of course. But I think it is good that you can open your heart and share yourself. There will always be people that care about you. If not me, if I am not here, I know you have a lot of other friends. (even if they are online) Unfortunely, the internet makes a good place to see your pretty soul... without seeing you in person. I know that I would come and see you though if I had the means. Knowing that you have a beautiful soul makes what you look like on the outside not matter at all. So I wish more people in your world would get to know your soul before they judged your body.
The world isn't far. And somehow, that you dying I feel you deserve very special treatment. Yet, here you are in this world being hurt by people just like everyone else is. That is so unfair. I mean, what about the make a wish foundation and going to disney land and standing first in line for all the rides... you only wish with people you were wanted. Sometimes, that is a wish that even money can't buy. People are so fickle that way. The one thing you want more than anything is priceless.
I can only hope and pray for you... that people will come around and want to spend time with you. You should have companions. But you will always have AP and me as your companion.
As far as your death, it seems likely to me that you will die peacefully in surgery. They will go in and try to remove the tumor and might not be successful. I hope that is how you go, instead of in painful misery with them saying they won't opperate.
I can't even imagine how you must feel. There is nothing I have really been through that I can relate to this. We already talked about my childhood surgery... of course, that is nothing like brain surgery.
Please try to keep positive. I know, that is so cliche... but it seems like your attitude is the only thing that you in control of. Be happy, or try to, don't be depressed. Trust me on this one.
If there is anything I can do to help please let me know. And I hope this comment was ok, I know its pretty down to earth and not too sugar coated. If it offends you in ANY way let me know.
Love,
God bless
Annie -
I'm sorry. Wow, if I knew the people that picked on you...wow, I'd be kicking some major ass. Don't let them get you down because my sister (she's got a site here; tinydarkgoddess) was abused and raped and she always says that time heals everything, and I believe her. And you've got people on here that care about you. And by the way if that's you on your AP site you are really beautiful.
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Inspiraring
I'm so sorry. This has me crying. When i was little i had surgerys and all kinds of stuff also and i couldnt take it but i read what happened to u, and i feel so bad. I'v always been nice to people because it's the greatest gift you can give. You never know who you might cheer up when they're really down. This is a very inspiraring story, it takes a lot of share something like this. I'm glad you'v found the lord through all of this pain though. Great biblography you have here. I really hope you feel better. And dont worry, bc evn if u dont feel loved, there's always someone out there who'll love you
Godbless
Jason -
My dear Jenn, this is such a poignant story about yourself and your life. It's sad to even imagine what it's like living this kind of life. Right from the start I've felt a true compasion and love for you but I didn't know about all this. Then when you sent me the beautiful trophy picture I felt so special, still feel that way. (I still haven't had a chance to change my author page yet but still waiting for my gold membership to come through... it's been more than a week since I signed up for it )
You know, Jenn, God has given you a special gift that many of us wish we also had.. and maybe we do, deep inside, but yours is obvious, it shows in every word you write.
You're loving and considerate, talented and friendly. There's been times in your past when you just didn't want to go on, but somehow you did anyway.... and look what's happened....you've found a place where you are loved and appreciated for yourself and what's in your heart.
I'm not familiar withthe disease, neurofibromatosis, but for my own information and for a better understanding of what life is like for you, I'm going to look it up and learn something about it.
As a mother, grandmother, great grandmother, it's really difficult for me to imagine a mother not loving and caring for her child, unconditionally. I know my own mother and grandmother felt that way towards me, I can still feel it even though they've both been dead for many years. And I feel that unconditional love for my own children and grandchildren. And now, I feel that love for you as well.
I wish you a happy and full life, Jenn, in whatever capacity you set out to fulfill.
I didn't mean to go on like this for so long but the words just keep coming. You take care, keep writing and keep on being you. God loves you, I love you, and many more here at allpoetry share wonderful feelings for you, too. You're in the right company
Love and huge 's
Dee
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God bless you!
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This has really touched me. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. It was cruel what your parents and everyone else did to you. I too, have parents who did not want me. Please, do not give up. You are a strong, kind, intelligent and caring person. The world really needs more people like you. You are just as important as anyone else in this world. And don't let anyone make you feel differently. You are special, just like anyone else. I am your friend, I want you to know that. I care about you. I will be here for you whenever you need to talk.
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im so sorry for your pain, i dont ususally cry on peoples writings, but this really made me cry and its not because i feel sorry for you its because i cant believe how damn cruel your parents are, and as far as im concerned they dont deserve you as their child, you have enough to deal with then having to deal with parents that are just cold hearted, cruel, mean etc.. i can tell you that i have alot of swear words in my head at this moment. Goodluck and in my prayers i will ask god to take care of you. Thank you so much for sharing this.
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This is SO SAD! I feel so bad for you, I hope things get better, if not, keep your chin up, and it is always good to write about it. Gets it off your chest. Good job!
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oh, wow. i am praying for you! hwatever you do, don't give up hope, and if you need to talk, let me know. you are here for a reason, and Someone does care. have a great day and smile! choirgeek
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Excellent piece of work
This is one of the saddest things I have ever read. Please know, I am here if you ever need someone to talk with. I wish I could take your pain away, but I can't I could be a friend if you allow me to be. -
emotional and touching piece.
That is sooo sad
I also can not understand why people are mean to each other.You have been through soo much in your life ,but you should not give up cuz there are some good people in the world , you might not have met them though.
You can not find people who are happy or satisfied with their life.Most of people suffer and they can not live a life of indulgence. I suffer and get sad but I try to be patient cuz I believe that this is not the eternal life where I can get what I want . worshipping God is the reason of our being ,but people forget that! we are all here to work and then God will judge. I can say that you are a good person and God will reward you for being patient. Do not be sad !
I wish I could do something for you to ease your pain my dear .
Nadi
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You're welcome John. You know there is part to this story. It is called Sad but true (CH 2) if you please take a look...
Edited on Feb 16, 8:01 because 'typo'. -
I am touched beyond words. I wish there was something I could say that would seem worthy after reading this. Your spirit is strong, that comes through above all else. I have read and loved your poetry and been taken with your strength and talent...while reading I had no clue just how strong and enduring you really are.
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I'd give you my life if it helped. I know there is some people who do really care for you. I promise. If i were to get to know you I would be your friedn. I would be here for you if you need me. I dont know how to explain but I dont care, what or who or anything I would be there if you want to talk. Your story is very touching, so here with all the love I can give
May -
God and AP loves you!!
We don't always have the answers about why we are here on this earth, and maybe we can live our entire life without knowing it, but the fact that you are sharing your story, is very remarkable and admirable. You are truly a very beautiful human being, a wonderful person and a trasnparent soul and a caring but fighting heart, a corageous heart that has chosen not to return the hate, despair, bitterness and angst which unfairly you have been exposed to, you have chosen instead to return love and care, and do not apologise or feel embarrased for saying how much you want and beckon to be loved and cared for, you deserve rightfully and with all the cherish and respect to be loved and cared for, and DO know that here in Allpoetry we will treasure and care for you deeply, and be most delighted to be your friends. Your heartfelt needs are as right and worthy like those of everbody else, the basic need to feel loved to justify our desire to remain living in this planet, and know that though we may not know you, everyone of us that reads your story is truly touched by your words, your testimony becomes proof that we must not take our life for granted, and you are an inspiration to realize that God lives inside every one of us, a small seed that never goes away, and that binds us all and I am glad that you have come to discover the Lord and that his love and comfort radiate from the inside of your heart to the depth and feelings felt through your words in this write. I will certainly look forward to read your future works and please know that you have my sincere friendship also. ~ Juan Pablo
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Great
Oh My God, this was so touching I cried from the beginning to end, I am so ashamed of myself I have tried to kill myself so many times being “healthy” and you yet despite all you still fighting you are just one of those silent heroes in the world, those who show us the “normal” that life is so much worth, you are so brave and so cool, your story beyond being great it really left a message in my heart that was so priceless, I loved the way the story just seems to have life itself in between the words since flow very nicely. Overall I love the story, KEEP ON FIGHTING
Keep Up The Amazing Job
BlueMisery ;f
PS. Thanks for stopping by on my author page, since I’m trying to get together a family of my own here in AP, and I never had a sister would you like to be mine???? Let me know, okies, I think you would do good to me………………………….
GOD shall bless your Beautiful Soul -
Before reading this, I was warned to have a box of tissues ready. I am glad that I got that warning because I am using them right now. This just makes me wish I could put my arms through the monitor and give you a hug. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life with us and I an so thankful that you did not succeed in taking your life, because it would be shame for us not to read about this. My prayers are with you.
~ John
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Not all families are made of flesh and bone. You have a family here and although we come from all walks of life and differ in many ways we are yours if you choose to claim us. You are not alone. I may not be able to reach out and hold you because of the distance but know that if you were here beside me I would hold you till the tears stopped, my children would pester you and ask you all sorts of question as kids are want to do .We would welcome you with open arms and open hearts.
I don't know how big your AP family is and I'm not signed up to adopt a fellow poet but I would be hornored if I could claim you as my AP daughter.
It may not always seem like it but you are blessed with an inner beauty and a strength unlike any I have ever seen. May light shine on you always my daughter. -
This is sooooooo sad. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. I'm sure there is someone in this world that will greatly miss you when you're gone. Just keep thinking about all the good things in your life, and I'm sure things will look up. You write very well, so feel free to express your talent. Keep your chin up and the pen down!
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This was so touching dear friend..you have to know that you have friends here in ap and that you are loved..
ps: IM me anytime dear if you need friend huggs
love from AJ -
hey...uhm, i dont really know what to say. i thought i had it tough. wake up call. uhm...wow. i know what its like to feel unloved by one or both of your parents, and i know what it feels like to have no one on your side when you need them. Like you i wanted to give up on life at an early age. I cut myself for the first time when i was 8 with the intention of dying. i must say there are some days where i wish i had succeeded but many when im glad i am still here. Though i have trouble with my parents i was lucky to have a sister close in age to me who is one of my very best friends. we get along most of the time and without her in my life i could gaurantee i wouldnt be here. i only wish you had that kind of relationship with your family. so i offer you this...whenever you need to talk or you need someone to care, just IM me. im on a lot and i would love kind of being...a new sister for you. so...i think thats all i have to say. and just maybe...there will be a happy ending to ur story.
Hugs
Natalie -
Your story touched me sweetie!
You are a strong soul!!! Bless you.
Yertweetyness
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You were definitely put on this Earth for a reason and you are correct none of us will ever truly know why we were until the day the Lord comes to take us up to be with Him in His promised land. It was so very difficult for me to read this as I also come from a very abusive background being severely abused everyday for ten years, made to stand in corners that were made my prison and getting beat for wetting my pants when I was forbidden to go to the bathroom. I only tell you this so that you know that you are not alone. For every story that I read it helps me get in touch with myself. No, I do not know what it is like to live with the disease and I wish that I could erase for you but never let anyone tell you that you are anything but special because those of us that have survived are Special. We were chosen by God to survive for a reason. It took great courage and strength for you share your story with us and you will find lots of support here as I found when I first came here. I also find writing to be therapuetic. If you ever need someone to talk to you can pay me a visit anytime.
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Awe
There's a rose for you in hopes of you feeling better.
No doubt, my comments will not be as beautiful as everyone else's, but they will be sincere, i promise.
I don't know the pain you have gone through, I went through a rough although somewhat "normal" childhood beside yours. I was abused, not physically by my step-father. I am glad you can write so wonderfully about what has happened to you. It is truly a tragic story, and I wish you the best.
Here's another rose. and another, and another, oh I think you get the drill...
XoXo
NiKKi -
This was a very well written peice that expresses deep pain. It is good to see that you are healing through writing. I too have done some healing through the comittment of words that I share with others my story. I know writing this was very painful and yet it is so inspiring to read about survival in the hardest of situations. It makes others think they can make it too! Keep writing you definately have a gift for telling your story in a way that entrances the reader, grabs their mind, and makes them think.
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Omg! *hugz her* i'm sorry for wht u have to go through....reading ur words i see ur strength n courage..i know tht putting those words to paper was a trial and i can only feel humled by ur strength....
i dnt know u except through these words tht i have just read but i want u to know tht i respect u
keep on writing
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I can see the character within your person through all the things you write about. At times I have reflected back on lifes trials and tribulations and have come to realise that it was then when character was engrained within our mortal being. I wish you all that you seek in life and hope that you find that friendship, but most of all I hope that you can touch others with the character you have garnered. Thanks for sharing and take care.
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Honey, I am so sorry for the pain that you have to endure in your daily life. I understand what you are going through. When I was little I was never the cute one or the cool one. I stood out like a sore thumb. But I came to realize that God made me that way to give a family someone to cherish. God gave you to your family so that you would the true meaning of love and what it is to feel loved. I tried to commit suicide when I was thirteen and then again when I turned 17. Obviously, it didn't work. and for that I am grateful becuase if I would have committed suicide then I wouldn't have anything to look forward to that I do now. Once I realized that the Lord put me on this earth for something, then I wasn't in pain anymore. I try my best to do what the Lord wants me to do. My cousin was born with Cystic Fibrosis, Spina Bifida, and a lot of other problems that made him not normal. His doctor said he wouldn't live past two but he is now thirteen! He can't move much and he has the mind of a three month old. He takes a feeding tube and has over one hundred seizures a day. But he is living his life the best he can, and really that is all that we can do. Just look forward to something in your life, and stick to that. Get a little obessive over a celebrity, do something to better the enviornment. You may not get a personal thank you, but the self gratification that you give yourself will be worth all the money in this world. Just hold the Lord close to your heart, and all will get better with time, I promise. God made you you and that is the best thing anyone can do! Great poem by the way. If you ever need to talk, I am here. Don't hesitate.
Much Love
~*Heather*~ -
I know my comment will probably be much like the others, I haven't read them yet, but will in a minute, first I want my heart to go out to you.
I can not even imagine the life you have lived, nor can I pretend to understand.
I am so glad you never succeeded in your quest for death, because I may have never found this write. It has affected my heart more then you know.
You are right, you are on this earth for a reason, even if that reason is to open the hearts of who ever reads what you write, or pretends to be close to you.
I dont know if you want them, but I will be praying for you, anytime you need to talk, I am here. IM me, and I will respond as soon as possible. Everyone needs SOMEONE to listen.
No I have never met you, but I am will to put my heart out to you as much as you will allow.
What people have done to you in the past is horrible, but you persevered.
In the end we will all face an ultimate judge. I promise you from the depths of my heart, I feel you will be loved. Our lord will love you as his making, as his child. If you hold to him, you have been loved.
I doubt I can say much useful. Or anything useful. Just know that if ever you need, I will be here to listen.
May the lord bless you and hold you close.
I send my love to you.
~Rhea~ -
Dear girl, I am truly sorry that you have had to live this way. Although you have been through much, you should know that you are truly loved. You obviously have friends here on AP, and I know that these poets and writers are so full of love that it's at times overwhelming.
The only way I could deal with my pain was to forgive others and give the pain to a Higher Power. I don't know what your spiritual belifs are, but my healing had a great deal to do with my faith.
You are obviously a very special woman, otherwise your life would not have been the way it is. Why do parents treat their children in such a manner? Who knows why they want to hurt their own children. I've read the comments to this, and it's obvious that many here care about you. Consider your life very strongly before you do anything. Your writing is amazing, and you have so much potential. You can make them all wish they had treated you much better. Hugs, Patricia
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Dear,
This breaks my heart to read what you wrote. However, I too know this pain. I don't know what it's like to have what you have, that I will admit, but I admire you. I have medical conditions myself. I find what touchof1der said to be very true. And like you, I had surgery at a young age. Though, a different form, I recall back how the difference indeed impacted my life.
Though, yes, you are awesome!!!
Love and blessings,
Anna Grace
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It has been my experience that people who have this inherent need to tear other people down do so because of their own shortcomings. Because of all that you face and all that you deal with... you have strength they can only dream and hope for. It makes them angry and jealous that you are so much stronger than they. How cool is that?? YOU are the one who is better off. YOU are the one who is better period!! Good for you! I commend you and I am s-o-o-o proud to have come into contact with you and I am proud of YOU! Proud of the inspiration that you are to others. Proud of the loving heart you possess and the immense capacity you now have for understanding the pain and suffering of others. You are awesome!!
♥ Kimberly -
Oh Sweetie I am so sorry to hear that people are so mean to you just cause youralittle bit more unique then others. That is not right at all and I don't like it when people are that way. Its so immature. Like TedE, I'll never be able to take away the pian you feel nor will I pretend to know how you feel, but I will be here when you need to talk. When you need to vent or just when you want someone to gossip with. I admire you courage for writing this and allowing others to see it. I am sure it wasn't easy for you to write it. Just know that you have a lot of friends here on the site who'll love you for who you are! I know I plan to love you for you. This is an awesome write. Keep up the good work and keep your head held high. *flower*
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Oh my word. Sweetie, this is so sad. I was bawling throughout the entire thing! I do hope that this isn't true, though the title says it all (Sad but True). I am so so so sorry. I just dont' know what to say. I know that that isn't going to help your pain heal, but i do hope that someday you will find what will. If you ever need to talk, please, don't hestitate to IM me...and if you would like I can give you my number and you can call me anytime. I'm so sorry. I know it diesn't help, but it's all a person can say in this situation...nothing seems to fit. Much love, luck and happiness in your future.
Jess -
Hey
I dont know how I came across this but I must admit it brought tears to my eyes. What do you do when your own family doesnt help?- I know, lifes hard, but you seem so strong, so much stronger than me or anyone I know. You can ask anyone I know and a lot of them will tell you Im a strong person for dealing with some simple stuff in my life, but here you are. It takes an amazing person to write about their lives for millions of people to see. What really hit home was
"It is pretty sad, that I have to beg and pled for people to come and see me." No one should EVER feel that way. I know you dont know me, but I ask one thing of you, stay strong, and anyone thats not willing to accept you, isnt worth your time of day.
-Mal -
Jenn, I can never take away the pain that others have caused you. The thing I can say though is that in your story you feel that you're not loved or appreciated. This is not completely true! At least not until I met you. I might not love you like my rain girl, but I have much love and respect for you. I never once asked you to make Bear pictures or poems for me, but when I found out you did I was truly moved. You and Tammy Jo took it upon yourselves to make me pictures. I am a very loyal person and wanted to show my appreciation and is why I have redone my author's page. Surely you know that you make a difference in someone's life now. I might not be a boyfriend or family, but I do appreciate you and it doesn't make a difference what you look like outside or a type of disease you might have. All I know is that you have a BIG heart and are a very caring person. I thank you for taking the time out of your day to think of me to do the things you have already done. Please know that you have touched me by your generousity. Thank you for sharing with me and with others what has been a personal hell for you. Thank you for putting a smile on my face so that I in turn can do that for others.
s
Ted E.
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Jenn as I have said before I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that but I will never turn my back on you and I will always be here for you. you are always in my prayers and in my thoughts.
God Bless,
Kate -
You are loved and even though you don't feel it by those around you just know God loves you or else He wouldn't of created you -i like that last line b/c it is true He knows why you are here and the main purpose of anyones life is to glorify Him.
Paul says to rejoice in our sufferings-the book of Job came to my mind when reading this-i think it would really bless you too
You did an excellent write here and i'm glad you are on this site
ash♥ -
I am not into deep poetry but I liked this. It is really good.
Jake420
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i truly don't know where to begin here.first of all my heart is tied in knots here.i don't know your disease on a personal level but i am familiar with it by way of the media.what i do know is that you are a human and nothing justifies the treatment you have been subjected to.a lot of debts will have to be paid because of it.i apologize to you for the ignorance of your family and of anyone who don't know how to examine the contents of one's heart and judge them accordingly.you are here for a reason and the sooner you leave all the negativity behind and realize that you are a special person with a special job to do the better the world will be.you have dealt with nonsense for too long and you have to use the time you have left to booster the quality of your life as well as others.you are loved for i love you.i don't have to see you physically to see the essence of you.i love you so love yourself and let's get cracking on what you are here for.you are talented.write children's books that will get alleviate the ignorance people feel about others when they are different.organize a support group.go join one.you can have friends and one day your family will come around.right now it's about you learning to like you and findingyourself.we can do that together.
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