I Wanna Be a Shoulder Parrot!

I mean, come one, who doesn't want to be a shouler parrot?! The only thing better would to be a shoulder angel/devil/someone's concience, but let's not get overly optimistic; those positions are usually filled at birth, and can't be freed without MAJOR effort, and quite frankly, I'm too lazy to bother.1

But shoulder parrot I can do! I can squawk loudly at inappropriate hours and the worst possible times, repeating your conversations to people you never intended to hear them. I can also repeat things over and over again. I can also repeat things over and over again. I can also repeat things over and over again...2

I am also cat friendly *is being attacked by tigers* and come with my own parrot suit! The fact that I'm small will also help the whole "sitting on shoulder" thing, cause I mean, who wants to be overbalenced by their parrot?! Feeding me may be a slight problem, because I refuse to eat seeds from which birds grow. If I'm going to become a bird cannible, I want to eat full grown birds. I also hope you don't expect me to take my medication, because that hobo down the street likes it so much more.3

So I plead to you from my hospital bed (they don't like to let me fly) don't let the purple hair fool you! Let the glued on feathers I can't get off fool you!