Faceless

I don’t know whether it is a nightmare, or a hallucination, or if it is actually true. All I know is when the sun sets and the moonlight washes over me, so does fear. I fear those otherworldly creatures that I only encounter in universal shadow. Those, frightening more so than fascinating, beings that only appear when the sun disappears. They are so strange for they speak without mouths. They see without eyes. They hear without ears. And they would be people that I'd recognize if they had faces, and if they were not hunting me every night.1

Some seem as though they simply want to kill me. Some seem as though they want to devour me despite their lack of mouths. And some seem to only want to touch and feel me, and want me to touch and feel them, these humanoid beings with no faces. Whatever the reason may be it is true that they are all hunting me and they all have no face. Even the ones who resemble my father, mother and sister! My own supposed family is pursuing me.2

Every night I am thrown into this alternate world of facelessness where I am the only face. And every night I run from their eyeless, yet threatening, stares. And every night they chase me with great growls and screams like famined animals. But every night I always hide in a place where they can never find me. It is then that they call and whisper my name to try to lure me out, but I know what they want. And why would I want to walk out into my own demise? But still they continue to lure.3

Usually I wait and listen for hours before my eyes get too heavy for me to keep open, though I still try. And even though I try my hardest, exhaustion always win. And a few seconds, it seems, after I unwillingly shut my eyes there is black blankness before light pries them open again and everything is as it should be. My mother smiles at me with her ivory grin and my sister occasionally rolls her eyes at me, and for a while I am relieved that I am free from the nightmare.4

But lately I have been having trouble deciphering which world is the dream and which is reality. And lately in the world of facelessness conditions have been getting worse. Lately those faceless creatures have become more desperate and more bestial in their chasing of me. And lately these frightening nights have been lasting longer, almost seeming to be forever, for now they scream my name when I hide instead of simply breathing it. And in the world of sunlight I feel as though the features present on the people around me during the day are the hallucinations. I feel as though what I see is not actually there. Their smiles are too bright and they laugh a little too loud. It seems that everyone around me is wrapping me up in illusions in order to hide something. My nightmare feels so real now and my reality feels so…phony. But, the truth will be discovered soon.5

Tonight when the moon took over the sky I was prepared. As I stood in front of the door to the outside and breathed in, I knew what would happen and what I wanted to do. And even though I knew what awaited behind the door, when I opened it and all the heads turned to look at me with missing eyes, I panicked. My legs thought for themselves and sprinted. And of course they immediately raced after me. At that moment I cursed the moon, for never had the faceless beings been this vicious. Never have I ever feared so much the possibility of never waking up. Tonight, the moon felt as real as the wind through my hair. And the wind felt as real as the fear in my heart, which throbbed more than any somber feeling that had ever touched me there before. Tonight, not only were they hungry, but they were hateful and angry. They hated me for having what they did not have. And they were determined to change that. I could feel it. Just like I believe they could feel how afraid I was. I could not stop running! It just wasn’t an option.6

Hiding wasn’t an option either. Everywhere I hid in the previous nights was blocked off along with any other potential place I could find security. Their cleverness grew and so did my dread. I would have to keep running. And for once my physical capability became a worry. How long would I last? I am not one of the most athletic people, but I would have to push past my limit. If I wanted to survive…I would have to go beyond my ability.7

Soon all I can think about is how I have to keep going. I’m already in so much pain. I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest and…I can’t breathe. I feel helpless and hopeless and my heavy legs must slow down because of the pressure—As soon as I think that I can’t go on, I look back. I’m still being preyed on! Instincts and a need to survive overpower the agony. I must keep going. I can’t give up. I can’t let them have me!8

Eventually I’m running past trees and over logs, and that’s when I realize that I’ve been chased all the way into…the woods? And as I make another leap over a boulder while breathing hard I feel even more like a doomed animal! And sweat is getting in my eyes, not only irritating them, but making it hard to see. Even so, my survival is the most important!9

I look back again. What a mistake! I trip and fall hard. My pain and stupidity cause me to curse again before I try to get up. I’m in horror! It’s my damned ankle! I can’t walk on my damned ankle!10

I hear a cry that’s not that far from me, and the frightened me tries to walk again, but to no avail! So desperately…I crawl…knowing—that I won’t be able to…move fast enough to escape them, but instinct prevents me from stopping until—11

They’ve caught up! They’re now approaching me slowly. They start dropping to their knees and they are crawling - towards me! I stop. It is the end. Their snarling and victorious cackles tell me so. With a deep breath I close my eyes and listen to them breathe my name as they get closer.12

Next, I feel a pair of hands grab onto my shoulders. They are warm, which is opposite to what I’d imagine them to be. Then, I feel more hands touching and holding me. Soon, I feel completely surrounded, as if absorbed, but when I open my eyes to see, they are not there. Instead, I am lying next to the old pond alone. Confused, I crawl towards the pond and look down and see my reflection. That is when I saw that I no longer had eyes, or a nose, or a mouth. My face is gone. And though I’d expect myself to be shocked or disgusted, I felt nothing.