This was a new beginning for Candy, she was finally leaving her parent's home and going to college. She was thrilled, the boys in her hometown were a bunch of jocks and the girls never thought anything of her. When she pulled up in front of the building for registration she didn't bother grabbing anything she wanted to meet her roommate. After receiving her key she headed upstairs to her dorm room, only to find out her roommate wasn't there yet. So Candy went back downstairs and began taking items from her car back up to her room. While she was unpacking, old memories flowed through her head. She was unsure of what people would think of her. Candy was what you may call a grunge girl, she loved heavy metal and rock music. She grabbed some of the stuff and took it into the bathroom and while looking in the mirror she began to fix her deep crimson red spikes that were starting to fall out of place. She was about 5'6" with wonderfully blue eyes and a perfect smile. Much less a body to die for. Her pale skin tone looked so delicate in her fishnets.1
Just then she heard the door to her room open, and she instantly knew who was there. She walked out of the bathroom slowly only to trip over her own feet when she saw her roommate. Stumbling to find the words to introduce herself, she stood there eyeing her new friend. She stood there in a pink mini skirt and a tank top that was very form fitting, just enough to show her size C breasts. She had a smoothly tanned complexion and beautifully flowing brown hair. Her green eyes and luscious pink lips drew Candy in deep.2
"Hi there, I'm guessing you're my roommate?" the girl asked trying to break the silence. 3
"Yes, I'm Candy. Who might you be?" Candy replied casually.4
"I'm Kourtney. I think we are going to have lots of fun..." Kourtney began grinning while Candy seemed very surprised.5
-To Be Continued-6
Author notes
Hey this is the beginning of a story I am writing, please tell me how to fix anything that needs it I would like to make it really good.
I promise the next one will be longer, I just wanted to introduce the main characters.
Thanks to Leah, Miseria Malleus for the title, I LOVE it.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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hey thanks for the comma, I hate them with a passion. mwah
Stodgell -
ooh yes, I like the background as well.
Comma after unpacking, and before old memories. Sorry... I'm a grammar nazi sometimes.
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i like the start of this story...i will watch for the next chapter....cant wait to read more!!!!good job....
~steph -
Oh this is a great start...i can tell that the desire is burning in young Kourt. hehehe I love the background....hope to be informed when you write chapter two...and i hope it is longer!
XoXo
NiKKi -
Jeez Jen, erotic my ass, lol i know the next chapter is gonna be so make sure to get started!
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Hey this is a VERY good start, I like it.
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Yay... this is aweesome. It flows so well and right when you cut it off is when everyone is hooked, You're good at this whole captivating your audience for a sequel. The story was wonderful and I can't wait to read more. Thanks for sharing and keep it up.
-Larry
Edited on Feb 02, 8:40 p.m. because 'Yep, its proven now.. I definately need to re-read what I write lol... forgeting words now.'. -
The stage is set, hope to read more. Sexy vibes already. Bennett
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Thanks Leah, I love help that makes it sound better. [smiles]
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"Hi there, I'm guessing you're my roommate?" Kourtney asked trying to break the silence.
*Seeing as how Candy asks who her roomate is, you may want to say the roomate or something instead of Kourtney's name right there. Other than that, I loved it. The background is pretty, that's all I can think to say right now. I can't wait to read more.
Hearts.
Leah -
Wootie! Lol i like reading
and Kourtney with a K thats original!
keeep gooooing *Zita*
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