Her name was Grace. Her mother was an Asian and her father a Nigerian therefore she was 5ft 5 with a honey colored skin, dark brown hair jet black eyes which slanted like those of the Asians and a slim shapely figure.1
She had just walked into the busy Business Education lecture hall of the University of Nigeria Nsukka and the usually noisy hall suddenly became quiet. She didn't mind that; she was used to that kind of reaction from people who met her for the first time. Hers was actually an unusual look but put together made her a rare beauty. This was combined with the fact that she was a good dresser. 2
Head held high, she boldly walked into the lecture theater and took a seat in the front and beside a seemingly awestruck guy. The Lecturer entered the hall a few minutes later and in the next hour the lecture was over. 3
Grace sighed with relief as soon as the lecture was over. The class was quite boring to her; the students seemed dull; the lecturer boring in fact every thing was just annoying to her. For the umpteenth time, she wondered what possessed her dad to have them relocate to Nigeria. And not just Nigeria but Enugu, Nsukka! An undoubtedly rural area to her. Why didn't daddy at least take us to Lagos or maybe Abuja if he wanted us to come back to Nigeria, she thought as she walked down the over crowded corridor. She missed New York badly. That was were she was born and had spent all the twenty years of her life and were her father worked before he decided it was time for him to come home. Why didn't he just come back on his own instead of carrying all of us along, she fumed angry tears forming on her eyelids. She angrily blinked them away determined not to cry out here in public and making a fool of her self. 4
Max her younger brother on the contrary was enjoying himself. She snorted wondering what made him so enamored by the place. When they first landed in Nigeria, it was at Abuja and Grace was prepared to consider liking the place. At least it was a city. But then their father had told them that that wasn't were they were to settle. He had gotten a job as a lecturer in the Architecture department of the University of Nigeria and they had been given an accommodation on the university campus so they were going to live there. Grace remembered going into hysterics when she had heard from her cousins who lived in Enugu that the place was nothing like what she was used to and she was one who didn't like being removed from something she was used to . Readjusting was too long a process.5
She got down from the corridor unto the red mud, which was a characteristic feature of Enugu, another thing she hated. When they had arrived two weeks ago in their fathers rental car, all their clothing and bodies had been covered in red dust. Their had smiled and said they would get used to it; all Max could say was 'cool!'; and she was boiling on the inside. She sighed and she rounded the bend to the school shopping complex, if her mother were alive , this wouldn't have happened. Her mother died six months ago and since then her father kept on talking about them coming home. Well, its his home not mine! she said to herself. 6
.................TO BE CONTINUED.....................
Author notes
this story continues
A contest entry
- June New Member's Contest by SW Greeters.
175 points, ended July 3, 2008, 25 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please be frank.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Interesting theme and such. The grammer could use some work. Yet, good idea.
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A very interesting start to what promises to be a good story. I like the setting you've used for this - Nigeria is not the most common place to have a story take place, and that makes this unique and fun to read.
Good luck writing more, and welcome to the site! 
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Great Start.
Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
Brooke
greeter -
A good start. I like the direction the story is taking although there are spots that are a bit confusing. First, it is not clear why a 20 year old would have to move to another country with her father if she really did not want to. If she was born in NYC then she was a US citizen and definately old enough to decide to stay in the country. Chances are there is a reason she felt she had to move, but it isnt clear in the story itself.
I really am enjoying the story though and would be interested in rereading it as you make edits and reading future chapters.
Best of luck in the contest. -
p4 were should be where when it refers to a place. - making a fool of (herself).
I didn't know whether to feel sympathy for the main character or not, but you did make me want to know more about her. If she'd been living in NYC, I'm sure the adjustment would be difficult. She is old enough to live on her own, is that not an option?
Thanks for entering the nember member contest. Welcome to Storywrite.
Andy
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Ohh, I want to see where this goes. Just out of curiosity, going by the level of detail you put in here, are you from Enugu?
This is a very intriguing story. IM me when you update?
-HT
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very good
felt much at home reading; what a terrific combination , amixup of nigeria& newyork. felt a bit like what my cousin said when sue returnedto good old INDIA. Sounds almost a true life picture.beginning: 3, language: 2, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 1, characters: 3.
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NICE BEGINININ
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P1 , after Nigerian P2 and should be when
This was definitely enjoyable. Very relateable and emotional. I felt for the character throughout. Watch some structure flaws, missing commas and run ons. Some of your word choice was off, but its your story, so have at it. thanks for the good read.
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