Cyn Chapter 3

My face fell hot, and I suddenly felt dizzy. 1

Jumping out of his arms, I backed up slowly a nervous giggle escaping me, “Don’t worry about it Jayden. I didn’t so you don’t owe me anything.” 2

“I’m not saying this because I think that. Cynthia you know me better than that. I still love you isn’t that obvious. I never stopped.” 3

I took a deep breath closing my eyes, while he closed the gap between us. Taking my hands in his, I opened my eyes again. I knew I shouldn’t have gone to this party I thought angrily. I really, really shouldn’t have come. 4

“Knowing this makes me happy, I really appreciate your feelings. But at the moment I don’t think we can get back together.” 5

He let out a long held in breath, “I understand that. But appreciating my feelings isn’t the same as returning them. Do you feel the same way? Or am I just blowing smoke out of my ass.” He made a goofy face that I couldn’t help but laugh at. 6

“Of course I still care…I just…” Now really wasn’t the time to be asking me about such matters. Not just because we were at a party, but also because honestly I didn’t know anymore. So much had happened between Jayden and I, I honestly couldn’t say. Of course I would always care for him, and love him. But was I still in love with him? 7

“Cynthia Baby.” A familiar voice shouted my name. Thank god. I thought to myself. Johnny McCarthy smiled wide flashing a set of sparkling veneers. Jayden growled under his breath. I shrugged mouthing ‘We’ll talk later.’ As if I’d let myself be in another room alone with Jayden. He just shook his head, storming off into the crowd. 8

Johnny rolled his eyes in Jayden’s direction before he looked back at me. He opened his arms wide, and I ran to hug him. 9

“Long time no see.” I giggled, squeezing him tight. It was a known fact that Johnny had run off to Paris for a year to visit his European boyfriend. Though his parent’s claimed to know nothing, and when asked told everyone he was staying at some French Elite Academy (as if Johnny would be caught dead actually doing schooling). Through out all of last year I received weekly emails about the incredible time he was having. I didn’t think he was ever coming back. That is until he found out that his incredible sexy European boyfriend, was just Euro-trash. Apparently Pierre or whatever the fuck his 10

Name was, was a total skank. Before he could say “Je suis désol&#; Johnny dumped his ass, and left him in Calais. Everyone had expected Johnny to come home immediately, but of course he didn’t. Instead he spent the rest of the year at his fathers resort in St. Tropiez tanning, and hooking up with all the islander boys. 11

For most it would be a total embarrassment to come back, after being cheated on by the boyfriend you ran away with. But to Johnny embarrassment was something only commoners felt. He held his head high, and proud parading himself around Poppy’s penthouse like the queen he was, and everyone loved him for it. 12

“You look great.” I said admiring his golden tan, and beautiful shiny brown curls. 13

“You don’t need to tell me.” He joked half serious. He looked me over and raised an eyebrow, “You little skank.” He said approvingly. “When I saw you and Poppy wearing the same dress I thought train wreck.” He chuckled, and moved in closer to me. “But don’t worry honey that flat chested bitch doesn’t have shit on you.” he whispered, “Love the slip.” He said before he slipped away. I laughed as he left. Johnny never spoke to long before he got distracted, and wandered off to some else. “Hey Jillian! You fucking whore I haven’t seen you ages. Let’s go smoke this roach in the bathroom.” He yelled, to Jillian Parker waving a joint in the air. Jillian laughed loudly and linked arms with him. 14

I could only dance for so long before it became just plain old boring. Joining Ramsey, and Felicity in Poppy’s living room the three of us along with the rest of our group sat watching everyone around us. Even Felicity and Ramsey had had to admit, that after the first hour the party had become duller than Vivian Gore’s last Halloween party. 15

“Whose up for ditching this party, and coming to my house.” Betsey Carlson asked. A few kids raised their hands. Ramsey, and Felicity looked at me as if waiting for me to suggest something better. I smirked at them but said nothing. I had already told them this party was a dud, from the second I stepped into Poppy’s tacky flat. But had they listened…16

“So everyone in favor of my house say hell yea.” Betsey said trying to liven up the mood. 17

“Hell ye—“ 18

“Wait, wait, wait!” Poppy stormed into the living room hands hips. “You guys can’t actually be serious about leaving, the parties just getting started.” She said a slight glimmer of nervousness entering her annoyed voice. Everyone looked at each other, and shrugged. 19

“Why should we stay?” I asked staring Poppy straight in the eye. Poppy pulled her mouth into a tight smile when looking at me. 20

“Because were about to…to…” It was clear she was wracking her brain desperately for something to do. If we left then everyone left, and Poppy’s party would go down along with her reputation to C list. “Truth or dare.” She spat out. 21

“Eh?” Felicity and Ramsey said in unison. My smile grew, as everyone looked at one another. 22

“You know that could be interesting.” Drew Faircrow said to Adam Strapler.23

Adam shrugged; “Whatever” he said leaning back into the couch. 24

“There’s nothing interesting about truth or dare. Everything you can possibly asked has already been asked in middle school.” Betsey said, and the rest of the girls nodded. Poppy cheeks paled. 25

“Truth or dare?” Remy Fuller snorted, along with the rest of the girls. Poppy gave a long groan, which said I give up. Ready to storm off she threw me a glare, as if her dud of a party had been my fault. If only. 26

“Wait!” I called after Poppy just as she was about to leave the living room. Poppy turned slowly around with a withering look. “27

“What Cynthia.” She said slowly. 28

“I’m in for your truth or dare.” I said brightly. I felt ten sets of eyes turn onto me. 29

“What?” Ramsey whispered into my ear. “I thought we were going to Betsey’s?” 30

“Then you thought wrong.” I mumbled to her. I walked over to Poppy’s side to face the group. “With the whole junior class here guys, Truth or Dare should be interesting.” 31

Remy raised an eyebrow, Betsey folded her arms tightly over her chest, and Ramsey and Felicity just sighed. The boys didn’t seem to care what we did. Adam’s eyes were only halfway opened, along with Drew who stared around the room with glassy eyes. Looks like someone’s been smoking some whacky Tobacy. 32

“This better be good.” Betsey finally said, and the rest of the girls nodded in agreement. Poppy didn’t say thanks, and I didn’t expect her too. She narrowed her eyes at me watching my every movement. As she should. 33

We all moved into grand entrance, even the band had stopped playing and joined us. Kids sat on the stairs, and on the floor, and tables. Our group huddled tightly together, as if afraid to leave one another. Jayden sat next to me, but neither of us said a word, or made eye contact.34

The room was silent when Poppy stood on top of a chair in the middle of the grand entrance. She smiled down at everyone, holding a mike that the lead singer had given her to use for the game. 35

“Hello everyone, so since we have a bunch of people for this game.” She giggled when she said ‘bunch’. “ I was thinking that whoever comes to use the mike they can ask anyone in the room truth or dare. Anyone in the room.” She repeated looking deviously around the room. Everyone snickered. I felt like we were all back in the middle school again. 36

“This is going to be fun!” Johnny giggled to a bleach blonde boy I had never seen before. The boy looked silently frightened back at him. 37

“So since it’s my party it’s only fitting that I should ask the first question.” Poppy cooed, and everyone cheered. She scanned the room slowly. Suddenly my stomach tightened, I knew she looking for me, finally are eyes locked. A cruel smile slid across her face. I wondered if this truth or dare thing had been planned the whole time. 38

“Uh-ohh.” Felicity mumbled under her breath. 39

“Fuck.” I muttered. In the corner of my eye I could see Jayden giving me a curious look, along with everyone else in the room. My cheeks threatened to redden, but I pinched myself hard breaking the skin on my hand. No way would I let Poppy embarrass me in front of the whole junior class. Whatever Poppy could ask, or make me do couldn’t be that bad right? I smiled sweetly up at her, it made my jaw hurt. 40

“Truth or dare?” She asked, the room fell deadly silent. If I said dare would she make me strip in front of the entire class? Or make me make out with some disgusting boy? It wasn’t like I could refuse it in front of this many people. But if I said truth what would she ask me it wasn’t like she had anything on me. The worse she could ask me was how many people I had slept with, or if it was true I had seduced Mr. Cowl our young English teacher for a ‘A’ in his class. At least that was all I could think of that she would ask, and the answers were simple to those: Two, and false. 41

“Truth.” I said loudly, and proudly. I waited for Poppy’s excitement to fade, however a flicker of fire flashed through her eyes. 42

Her smile widened, “Good choice.” She said bubbly. Slowly her eyes moved away from me and onto Jayden. Panic trickled into my stomach, and heart, a brief feeling of nauseas bubbled in me. Was she going where I think she was going? I had to remind myself that no one knew about Jayden and my secret. Only the two of us, only the two of us, only….43

“Is it true that you got pregnant this summer with Jayden’s baby, and got an abortion?” 44

When something so unreal happens to you, for a half second your mind does a blurry twist, and you feel weightless air punch you right smack in the heart. When you finally realize what’s going on your heart pumps wildly, and so loud you miss the gasps of the crowd or what the person next to you is saying. You don’t hear anything but your heart pounding. Ba bump, ba bump, ba bump. Though it is only a half a second, it feels like that moment lasted a lifetime. 45

“Can you repeat that?” I asked quietly. I knew Jayden was beside me, but I didn’t want to look at him. Why did she know, Why did Poppy St. Claire know. I hadn’t told anyone. The sickening idea that Jayden had told her entered my mind for only a second before I pushed it back. But before I knew it I felt my face going hot like I had suddenly been thrown into a sauna. My eyes felt wet two, warm water streamed down my eyes. Tears? I hadn’t even felt them develop. 46

“I think you heard me.” Poppy said her voice disgustingly bubbly. A million lies tasted in my mouth, but I couldn’t find the strength to let them out. 47

“Who told you—“ 48

Jayden stood up abruptly, with both fist tightly squeezed together “What happened between me, and Cynthia is know ones business. So you can just fuck off Poppy.” I had never heard Jayden so angry. How could I feel happy though, when he had been the one to betray me in the first place? How else would she have found out? My heart, and stomach felt unbearably tight. A sudden urge to scream into the crowd filled me. Was I going mad? 49

“Relax Jay Jay it’s only a game. No need to get so violent.” Poppy cooed, and laughed along with the crowd. 50

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Felicity asked her voice both annoyed, and concerned. 51

I couldn’t find my voice, I couldn’t even look anywhere but straight a head. Was I in shock, was I going crazy. 52

“I guess we can safely, say that the rumors are true.” Poppy giggled. “Moving on who’s next?” Of course no one felt like going up onto stage after that. A long moment that felt like an eternity of silence, passed before finally. Brave Johnny stepped onto the stage. He winked in my direction. Thank you I thought silently. Jayden reached for my hand. I didn’t even have the strength to move my hand away. I must have been in shock. His hand trembled a little in mine, which sat lifelessly in his. 53

“Truth or Dare Poppy.” Johnny asked. 54

Poppy smirked, “How predictable that you would ask me this right after I asked Cynthia truth or dare.” Poppy rolled her eyes. “Gawd it was just a question, I didn’t know it was going to get so emotional in this joint.” 55

“Your such a fucking bitch.” Johnny said laughing, “So what’s it going to be truth or dare?” 56

Whatever Johnny was going to ask, or make her do it was going to be good. No matter how good nonetheless it would never top what she had done to me. I didn’t even feel like hearing it, I just wanted to leave. Tears continued to silently stream down my cheeks. They fell against my will. 57

The whole of my group wasn’t even paying attention to Johnny’s, and Poppy bantering. They all stared fixedly at me with blank expressions. I didn’t know if they were mad, or upset, or worried, or if they even cared that much. I didn’t care myself, what they thought of me right now. 58

“I’m going to go.” I finally found my voice. I didn’t wait for them to say anything to me, and they didn’t. Jayden followed me silently out not releasing my hand until we got outside. 59

“I didn’t tell Poppy Cyn.” He said as we walked down Fifth Avenue, “I mean I did tell someone…obviously, but it wasn’t Poppy. Of course it wasn’t Poppy. You don’t think I would actually tell her?” It sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than me. 60

“I don’t know anything Jayden. Not anymore.” My voice was numb, flat, and cold. “I just want to go home.” I didn’t mean to whimper when I said home, but somehow I did. And it was as I did that I burst into tears. Jayden threw his arms around me hugging me tightly to him. He smelled like Marlboro cigarettes, and sandal wood soap. It was his signature scent, and most of the time the scent comforted me giving me a sense of nostalgia for all the good times we had had. It did very little now, seemed to only worsen things. People passed by us, staring at us like they were watching two lovers who hadn’t seen each other in years finally come back to one another. If only that was the case. 61

“Why did she have to find out, who was it that you told?” I sobbed into his American Apparel white V-neck shirt. 62

“She found out…” Jayden rubbed the back of his neck, “Because I told my brother Lance back when he and her were dating. He must’ve told her.”63

“You told Lance?” I asked in disbelief. Lance was by far the biggest loud mouth, and gossiper, more so than any of the girls at Marywell Elite high school. He even had his own gossip blog. 64

“I had to he’s my brother, and of course he knew something was up by the way you and I were acting.” Jayden said throwing his hands up defensively. 65

“You fucking idiot.” 66