So much problems are going on.
I don’t know what’s going on.
Days passing bye so fast.
I’m so confused I don’t know where I am.1
In this life I’m so alone.
But when someone tries to help me,
I just yell out leave me alone I’m just fine!
All I want to know is where am I,
And why am I here.
This life has so many ways to go.
But I’m so confused,
And don’t know which way to go.2
So alone, so confused.
But I’m so stubborn to let any one know.
I’m so scared I’m so afraid to let anyone know.
But I know I have too,
I know I need too.
So much problems are going on.
I don’t know what to do.
I just wanted to know what you think of it
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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it was............really
good lol hehe haha lol
i like the background
and keep up the bad work!!!!!
lol lol jk jk good job
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This was awesome!! I really enjoyed it good job!
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It Was A Really Good Poem. It Was Kinds Depressing Tho, It Expressed That Feeling Perfectly. Niice Job Keep It Up. -Nikki
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Heyy Dez,
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The sadness of the poetic voice is so clearly expressed it almost hurts. You write well here although I do feel you could play around with your punctuation more, you don't have to put commas and end stops - think about using enjambement more to let your thoughts flow into each other. You also don't need to use an upper case letter at the start of each line - if you do use the run on you won't do this at all. Check out other writers who use this style (I do myself) it can be very effective. Small niggle - bye?? - should be by I feel? Try to play around with your opening lines as well, there's repetition in there which seems unnecessary and would have greater impact without.
I know this is a sad write, but poetry's such a great medium for letting the emotions go - catharsis - I'll probably have a look and see if you write about other subjects. Nice not to always be self absorbed. Thanks for sharing, keep reading and writing, it's the best. Cheers. -
great poem! lots of emotion and fear. i like the repetition and rhyme scheme. great job!
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Hey Dez,
I liked this poem, dark though it was. Good writing, 'cept some minor issues like bye/by.
I like the way you repeat the last stanza, it gives it a god ending effect.
Very well done.
-HT
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Not like it was so bad still good though. It's just most people sing or write or talk about just that and it gets old. Just because of my opinion don't stop talking about your feelings!
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Sorry didn't like it! Singing about most peoples life, maybe even yours, doesn't get me happy. Just brings me down. Thanks, now today I'm going to be mopey! Thanks!
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This is a very good expression of your emotions, there are a few things you can do to improve this For example: So (many) instead of much problems are going on. All in all I think you did a good job expressing yourself ~ keep penning young poet
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Excellent
I thought this was really good, and it shows that you have potential to become a great writer! There is so much emotion behind this! ^_^ IF this was my poem (which it isn't, and believe me when I say that I respect your style) I would change a few things, like grammar and punctuation. But all in all it was really very nice. -
OMG datz how i feel sumtimes and i knw how u feel i bin there awsum i luv it!!!!!!!!!
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great poem.
i loved it!!! it shows so much of me in here. lol even though i dont seem like it. this life of ours is really confusing isnt it? all you need to do is talk to people and wait. if you need to talk to me i am always here! take this seriously or not.
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