Prison

It was past midnight when I woke up to hear my roommate crying in the bunk below mine, I honestly considered for a moment ignoring him and pretending I hadn’t woken up, but his wails were only growing louder and both of us would get crap in the morning if anyone else heard him. In prison guilt by association runs rampant, even with the complete lack of choice when it came to your roommate. I hung my head over the side of the bunk and hissed,1

“Sam, what the hell is wrong with you!” A shocked silence greeted me, followed by a series of sniffles.2

“Nothing Dan, I’m just a bit homesick, you know? Being stuck up here day after day, month after month, you know? It wears you down…” He faded off into silence and a series of hiccups and sniffles. 3

I could not believe how much of a baby he was; I punched my pillow into a comfortable shape and rearranged my blankets and let go with an exaggerated sigh.4

“Do you need be to come down there and change you diaper for you, Sammie boy?” I yawned, “Jus go to sleep.”5

A second of silence then; “Do you want to know something Daniel?” I heard him shift below me.6

No, I thought, I really don’t. But I kept silent.7

“I graduated from college, from a university actually. I got a degree in journalism, and now look at me? Look where I am now..”8

“Shut up Sam.”9

“Fine” And thankfully, for once he did.10

The next morning I woke up to my cell door opening and Jimmy, one of the guards, gruff, sarcastic voice.11

“Up you get you fine gentlemen!” He watched us both drag ourselves from bed. I stretched up and brushed the top of the cell roof with my fingers and glanced and at Sam; his eyes were a bit red and puffy, but it didn’t look too obvious. The guard accepted Sam and my outstretched hands and cuffed us both, then stepped back and nodded to his back up guards to let us through. “It should be a great day for basketball I think.” He added as he closed and locked our cell door and led us off toward the showers.12

“Sh-showers first today sir?” Sam was the only in-mate I knew who actually addressed the guards by “sir”. “Isn’t it generally breakfast first?”13

“Not today!” The guard gestured to us to stay in front of him, “some problem in the kitchen is causing the cooks to be a bit delayed, and there’s only so many hours in a day, really no point in wasting time waiting for them, right? So showers first.” 14

I looked at Sam’s hunched shoulders and clenched jaw, he looked about to cry again, he was like a freaking leaky water spigot. Not that I completely blamed him this time, the showers were easily the worst part of prison, two out of three murders around here took place in the shower. It was because the prison couldn’t possible pay to let us each have our own shower so, like a gym locker room we were all required to shower together, ten people at a time.15

The first day in this prison I witnessed one of the famous shower room murders myself; a skinny blond boy, I learned later that his name was Jason, “stared too long” at Philip Crogan, a huge man, well over six feet tall with milky white skin, millions of freckles all over his body, and flaming red hair close cut to his scalp, and that skinny blond kid sat there, starring at him in the shower, and when Philip asked him what the hell he was looking at? He just kept staring and smirked a little, and the next thing anyone knew there was blood everywhere, flowers of crimson blood blooming in the water and running down the drain, Jason’s skinny frame crumpled on the tile, blood spilling from his scalp down his naked back and over his lifeless face. Philip had grabbed him and smashed his blond head against the wall and that was all it took, that stupid kid would never smirk at anyone ever again.16

The first chance I got after I witnessed that I struck up a conversation with Philip Crogan and pretty much declared myself his friend; I’ve come to the conclusion that it is always best to befriend people who might murder you first, and keep on their good side. This theory has kept me intact for the almost three years that I have spent in prison, so I stick with it.17

We reached the showers and Jimmy un-cuffed us and left us to wait in line with a number of other tired looking in-mates, there was already one group in the shower room, which was all metal, the walls, ceiling, and the spigots and knobs, everything except the floor which was made of gray, almost black tile; tile that I was pretty sure had once been white. The door swung open and ten nude men filed out, each with a white towel that was way too small to adequately cover them; a prison guard standing by the door handed each man a clean yellow suit to change into in the next room as they trooped by.18

“Ahh, Daniel, my man!” A slim, black haired man hit me on the shoulder as ambled past me; he let his towel hang loosely in one hand, not even trying to cover himself up. James Burgh, my second best friend next to Philip Crogan, and in certain ways far more intimidating than Philip could ever be. He had intelligence, something Crogan seriously lacked, he had extreme self confidence, the nerve to do anything, and the persuasive ability to make anyone else do anything as well. I had met James through Philip; I pretty much joined their group sometime within the first week of staying here. The gang consisted of James, the undeclared leader, Philip, the co-leader who dealt with anyone who didn’t listen to James, and Sam, Me, Jonathan, Marcus, and Louis who were the loyal followers of James and Philip. We loyally followed them, and they kept anyone from bashing our head in and didn’t beat us up themselves. It was a smooth operation.19

As the last now clean prisoner filed past us the guard who had been handing out the yellow jumpsuits beckoned the next ten of us forward into the cold, steel interior of the shower room. I took a quick glance around at my shower mates for today as I removed my shirt and deposited it in the metal bin right inside the door, there was Sam of course, right behind me, his nervous eyes dashing back and forth, an occasional sniffle escaping from him, but other than that I could see no one else whom I was on any sort of speaking terms with, not that it made much of a difference as conversation while showering is generally quite scarce.20

With a preceding gurgle deep within the pipes the ten spigots, five on each wall, all of them facing inward, let forth jets of semi warm water and I quickly began to soap my body and hair, careful to advert my eyes from my fellow shower mates. Not a second after ten minutes the spigots shut off and we all scrambled to retrieve our tiny white towels off of the metal rack next to the bin where our dirty clothes now resided, exit out of the showers and dash to the room across the hall, grabbing a new yellow suit along the way.21

In the next room I dressed quickly and waited for everyone else to finish up and let myself be directed out through the halls by four guards, all of them stiff and unspeaking, two in front and two in back, and into the large dining area, which, as best as I can explain it, highly resembled an elementary school cafeteria; gray specked white tile, rough brick walls, an open, high up ceiling adorned with uniformly spaced, dust encrusted skylights interspaced with long florescent light bulbs which, ironically, despite the obviously proficient sunlight streaming from the sky-windows, remained lit.22

Thirty or so men already lounged about in the room, lifelessly picking at today’s breakfast, too exhausted to eat in hast, their dull yellow clothing clashing marvelously with the bright orange of the room length tables and benches on which they were seated.23

I glanced back once at Sam, who was trailing me like a puppy dog, and slid in line behind a short, skinny man with hunched shoulders and a gigantic beak of a nose who I vaguely remember being the “new guy” a couple weeks back, but could not recall his name. The line dwindled rapidly and I quickly found myself at the front where I received a bowl of flaked cereal, an apple, small plate of eggs, a bottle of water and a cup of milk to pour into my cereal, all stuffed onto a red, plastic tray with a couple napkins thrown on top. 24

I received a small shock though, when, as I turned away from the food distributors and moved toward my usual spot and Philip and the gang, I found myself face to face, or perhaps more accurately face to chest, as he was literally a head shorter than I was, with the bird beaked man who had preceded me in line, his lips twisted into an extensively nasty smirk, his direct eyes glaring with obvious challenge at me.25

I took a hasty step back and was even more thoroughly shocked when the little man lunged toward me and made a very blatant attempt to trip me, which luckily I was able to side step. I arranged my features into understandable fury, leaned into his ugly face, for it was ugly, thick eyebrows, thin lips, over dominating nose, and vehemently hissed, “Get the f*** away, or I’ll reshape that beak of yours.” At this point though, the guards intervened, ordering that I back off, and I had very little choice as it was for I could not reasonably throw a punch at the thoughtless bastard without dropping my tray and ruining my breakfast.26

I backed off, conscious of guards’ eyes following me, and made my way over and dropped my tray down across form Philip’s. Sam had made it there before me and was sitting to the right of me and across from James; he was staring at me with wide eyes, probably shocked that I could remain so calm after so close a fight.27

I settled in and pushed my tray back a bit and leaned forward: “Did you guys see that? That A-hole just started messing with me; that must be the most random experience I’ve ever f***ing had!”28

“Terry Romer” James had a sour expression on his face, his eyes were icy.29

“What? Terry Who?”30

“Terry Romer, that’s the guy who just messed with you, and he’s not after you, he’s after me. Look at him.” He gestured to the table behind me. I took a quick glance back and found Terry sitting at the table with a large group of other inmates, none of whom I was especially familiar with, his small brown eyes though, were fixed on our table, a strange, triumphant smile pasted on his face, a smile that widened when he caught me watching him.31

I turned back around and met James’ eyes, and angry scowl had replaced the sour.32

“Can’t you see what he’s doing Dan? He’s been watching us for weeks, didn’t you notice?” His voice dropped to an angry hiss and he leaned in closer to the table. “He’s not just challenging you or even me; he’s challenging us, all of us, as a group, our gang! He’s challenging our gang.” He dropped back and examined us, meeting each of our eyes in turn, pausing momentarily at each of us to be sure we were listening. 33

“I have, and Philip too, since we took up residence in this place…” He paused, searching for a word. “Angered, I guess you could say a number of men. We have collected a number of enemies; people who don’t like us and who are envious of us. Now, these people generally pose little threat, for if they are not weak in body they are weak in mind, and in either case they are easily frightened, easily fractured kept alone, and easy to control. Do get what I’m saying? He narrowed his eyes at each of us, and we all nodded solemnly.34

“Now look though, at Terry Romer.” His jaw and fists clenched as the name escaped his mouth, his eyes flashed. “Terry Romer has not only openly threatened a member of our group; he is gathering our enemies and uniting them. Look over there at his table,” He gestured and we looked. “have you ever seen that large of a group sitting together?” We turned our attention back to him and Sam shook his head once, none of us touched our food.35

“People are easy to control if they think they are alone, if they believe we are bigger than them they will listen to us. We though, are not actually bigger! There's a ton more of them than there are of us, but they listen to us anyway. Why is that?” None of us answered and he continued. “It’s because we have them all isolated, they don’t know who’s on which side. They are afraid that if they bad talk us we will find out, and they will pay for it. So they don’t talk, and they can’t organize themselves against us if they never talk about us, can they? But Terry is doing just that, he’s making them realize that they are not alone, he is serving as a leader who they can all rally around and rebel against us with.”36

“Now wait a second!” Philip took a huge bite of eggs and continued with his mouth full. “Is’n that a bit melodramatic? Your making it sound like were in world war three and you and Romer over there are the two opposing generals. This is just Prison, Romer’s an annoying idiot; that’s all, like that Jason kid, I’ll squash his face as soon as I get the chance and we’ll be over with him. No point of over dramatizing the whole issue!”37

James examined the huge red head for a moment with cold eyes then turned and addressed the rest of us. “Phil is right in that Romer needs to be squashed, he is a serious threat to us, but I don’t think he’s the one to do it. Dan, you looked quite pissed at him when he tried to trip you. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind teaching him a lesson. Why don’t you kill him?” It was said in a very calm, direct tone; I could not possibly think that it was aimed at me.38

“Me? I’m not a murder James…” I cut off as his laughter filled our table; he leaned across and whispered to me.39

“Everyone is a murderer, anyone can kill if they are pushed far enough, and have you forgotten where we are? People known for their morals don’t end up here, Dan.”40

He leaned back again and gestured to everyone sitting at our table, "Look around Daniel, every member of our gang has preformed some sacrificial action to benefit the group, and some of us have far outdone themselves.” He smirked at Philip. “Everyone except for one that is; you Dan, have never jumped in on a fight, or beat some up for one of your fellow gang members. You are the only one, except for Sam of course, but one can’t really expect Sam to do anything, he has never tried to hide how weak he is, how afraid. See? Even now he doesn’t contradict me. You though Dan, have never struck me as a cowardly person, you are safe perhaps, very careful, but not afraid, not weak.” He eyed me, gauging my reaction to his request.41

I met his gaze straight on with a cool, even expression. Despite my current position I could honestly say that I have never actually murdered someone in cold blood, but there was no reason for James to know this. I twisted in my seat and scrutinized Terry Romer, who was now immersed in his breakfast. He was small, easy to beat one on one, but James was right about him collecting friends, I could count seven people sitting with him right now, and they weren’t small people. If they backed him up I would have little chance against him.42

I turned back and addressed James: “I’m not saying I won’t, but what if I can’t?”43

“I’m sure you can try, and if you fail Philip can finish he job.” I nodded and breathed a sigh of relief. “Then again…” James added, “I wouldn’t be convinced that you had actually tried as hard as you could unless you died trying.” He smirked at me and stood up. “I expect little Terry to be dead in three days… today’s Monday right? So by Wednesday night, got it Dan? He nodded to me and waved over a guard, “I’m done, and I must say I am feeling a bit intellectual at the moment, I think I’ll spend today’s free time in the Library.” The guard nodded and followed him over to the trash and watched as he dumped his food then cuffed him and led him out. 44

I stayed seated, ignoring the surrounding people, Sam’s sympathetic mutterings; Philip’s obnoxious giggle, and began counting the ways to commit murder in a high security prison, only three came to mind; and after another moment of thought I settled on one. I must get Terry alone, then I must drown him. It was simple and clean, I may even manage not to get caught; I would rather avoid ending up in isolation if I could.45

The next day, Tuesday afternoon, I pretended to be immersed in throwing hoops with Sam and Louis. Across from us on a second court another, full on game was taking place. It was on this game that my true attention was aimed.46

A moment later I saw my chance as Terry left the game and jogged over to the bathroom on the left side of the court. I dropped the ball and followed him without giving an explanation to either Louis or Sam. They would understand what I was doing.47

In the bathroom I could see only one stall occupied. I closed the door to the outside and locked it's deadbolt then moved to stand right outside Terry's stall and waited. 48

When I heard the toilet flush I waited a second more then dove at the door, feeling the lock give way under my weight. I saw Terry's shocked expression, how wide his small eyes were, how his fly was still unzipped, how his hands were lifted in surrender; and I ignored all of it. I grabbed him by the back of the neck and forced his knees to the tile and his head into the toilet; his hands flailed, trying to reach me, his feet kicking the ground, bubbles rising in the water. He had no chance, no chance at all. It took no strain on my arms to hold him under. I pushed harder, kneeling close to his fighting body and wished he would die. 49

After forever he went limp, I waited for a while yet then stood up, kicked his heavy body once, it slumped over to one side, half of his face now visible, his hair wet and falling over his face, then walked out. Back through the bathroom, and out the door where I rejoined the basketball game.50

Murder was easy.