~....Oh he's about to kiss me!~ She thought. Her dream was about to come true. Just one more inch. Almost there.~1
"Bark!Bark!Bark!" came the sound of her dog.2
"Indi!" she yelp.3
"You stupid dog! I was this close. THIS CLOSE!" she hollers. While she holds her index finger and thumb a centimeter apart. 4
She props herself up on her elbows. Looks at the door and sees her German/wolf dog prodding at her door. Wanting to be let out to go on a walk for a bathroom break.5
"Why did I keep you in the first place?"6
She looks at her alarm and it says 3:30 am. ~Right on time aren't you?~7
She grabs her sweats and t-shirt and puts them on. Gets off the bed and searches for her shoes. Puts those on too. Walking to the door to opens it and Indi runs out. Goes to the coat rake and grabs her coat. Looking down she sees Indi with the leash wanting sweet relief. Puts the leash on him and opens the door being dragged out by the dog.8
"For those of you that are up a killer is on the loose. He is extremely dangerous. He was put in jail for beating/nearly killing his girlfriend. He was last seen heading up to route 666. He is 5'10, medium build, short brown hair, cocastion, and red eyes. If you have any information please contact your local police and stay inside at all times. Lock your doors, and shut your windows tight. That is all." The announcer said just right after she closed the door.9
*End of Part One*10
"Indi! Slow down! Your dragging me!" she hollered.11
"Indi! Wait!"12
She grabs the dog and pulls him close enough.13
"Almost thereee. Gotcha!" she mumbles.14
She grabs the dog and unleashes him. Relieved that he won't longer drag her. ~At the rate he was going I could have gone to the 7-11 three times. I wonder what the big deal was any way. Did he have to go that bad?!~ 15
She watches him play and running around finding a spot to go.16
Author notes
not done. im a bit busy at the moment. done in a few days!
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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good story so far
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i like this, a lot and i will be entering your contest bout writing an ending to this. However I am in awe of your work and hope that I can do it justice!
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Caucasian* That was the one spelling error that stuck out for me. This is an O.K. beginning to a story. It seemed to go a little quick and the detailing was minimum. Are you trying to force the reader to imagine something, or do you want them to picture a certain setting? Is it in a modern setting? The only thing that gives that away is the 7-11 comment. But even then, that could be in the future. Moreover, where you walked the dog and such was rather confusing. In other words, where did she walk the dog to? Also, the tilde (~) stuff is irritating. Improper punctuation. For thoughts, you should treat it as if somebody was speaking, with quotation marks. Anyway, another thing that bothers me is sometimes the spacing between the words gets vexing. "Bark!Bark!Bark!" That should be, "Bark! Bark! Bark!" Keep writing.
Chellie
xoxo -
ok I'll just check back later then Im me when you are done
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